It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Parenting Issues Message Board

  • Too old to shower together

  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 01-18-2003, 08:00 PM   #16
    LookingForHealth
    Inactive
     
    Join Date: Jan 2003
    Posts: 398
    LookingForHealth HB User
    Post

    Kids are horribly cruel and at age 10 or 11 in the 5th grade, it's not going to be a quick 1 day thing when the guys tease him about it.

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 01-18-2003, 09:12 PM   #17
    rainflower
    Junior Member
     
    rainflower's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Dec 2002
    Posts: 37
    rainflower HB User
    Post

    Thank you for your thoughts, my son was held back in first grade, he is now in third grade- he just turned 10 in November. So far even though my sons are sheltered, they have lots of friends and we havent had any problems with meaness or bullies. I know they are quickly approaching the age where I will have to allow them to toughen up, but right now I am enjoying my sons innocence. THey enjoy both Pokemon and Pooh. We dont have cable nor have we for the past three years- we will most likely in the next two years. It is hard to make them grow up so fast- but I realize this is a necessity in this day and age. thanks again.

     
    Old 01-20-2003, 08:14 AM   #18
    Cheryl3
    Senior Member
     
    Cheryl3's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2002
    Posts: 168
    Cheryl3 HB User
    Post

    If you are bothered by it and would like it to stop, why not try this approach: Tell your wife, "Honey, you have so little time for yourself. I feel bad that you have to have the boys in there with you even when you are showering. Why don't you let me take care of getting them bathed and you enjoy some privacy and time for yourself." Then present her with a little gift of bath products, body scrub, scented shower gel or something she can pamper herself with from you and the boys.

    Or, since your wife seems to be sensitive about it, maybe you should talk to your older son about it. Rather than telling him, "You're too old to shower with mom anymore," ask him if he thinks he could help out by taking care of bathing himself and his little brother. Tell him what a big help this would be to mom and dad, and maybe even offer him a raise to his allowance or some sort of special priviledge for helping out with his brother. If he agrees to this, suggest that HE make the offer to your wife. He'll feel proud to be helping out and maybe your wife will be touched by the gesture.

    Lastly, keep in mind that maybe this was a special "bonding" ritual for your wife and son when he was little and she is reluctant to give it up because she doesn't know what to replace it with. As the mother of an 8-year-old, I can tell you that it gets harder to "connect" with them as they get older, and it hurts to feel that they are slipping away from you. Why not offer to watch your younger son occasionally so your wife can take your older son to a movie, arcade, shopping, or whatever. Or offer to occupy your younger son for a while each evening so your wife can read a book with your older son. I try to read out of a chapter book such as Harry Potter at least every other night to my 8-year-old while my husband gets my 2-year-old settled down for bed. This is a very special time for us and my son loves it. I think sometimes moms feel like we spend so much time and effort on the youngest child that the older child gets cheated. This is probably why your wife continues to invite your older son into the shower. She doesn't want to seem like she's giving the younger one special treatment. So it might help to ensure that she has the time to spend some one-on-one time with your older son. Hope this helps!



    [This message has been edited by Cheryl3 (edited 04-10-2003).]
    __________________
    Cheryl

     
    Old 01-20-2003, 09:57 AM   #19
    bruised
    Senior Member
     
    bruised's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2003
    Location: Canada
    Posts: 206
    bruised HB User
    Post

    Pacu..I agree with Cheryl on what to say with son,but I don't understand why a 10yr old is having a shower with his mom.If anything he should be showering,so to speak with his dad.His dad is the one with the "parts"that he has.I'm actually uncomfortable with this at 10 yrs old.When our son was younger I had showers with him,he's 5 now.I stopped showering with him because I figured he needs his independance.I don't ever remember me,showering with my dad?We have a 2 yr old d that I shower with but she's a girl.Our son and d bath together,but our d curiosity kills the cat when she sees sons"parts".And son asks why hers aren't like his.We say boys are different from girls.Son has seen me naked,but when he starts asking questions,I kind of shut the door on it.All he needs to know at his age is mommy has her privates and daddy has his privates.I don't feel I need to get into detail right now.The last thing I'd want him to do,is prance around kindergarten saying I have a "penis" and you have a "vagina".Kids at his age are strange this way.They blab everything anywhere,anytime.So details right now is out of the question.At 10 yrs old the son and other son should mabe shower together,not with his mom.JMO

     
    Old 01-20-2003, 09:04 PM   #20
    LookingForHealth
    Inactive
     
    Join Date: Jan 2003
    Posts: 398
    LookingForHealth HB User
    Post

    I agree bruised, 5th grade boy showering with mom just isnt normal. What is the need? He definitely knows how to wash himself by that age. A lot of my friends who are moms shower with their 1, 2 and 3 year old girls...normal.
    If a dad and his 10 yr old daughter were showering together, people would think that was ODD/perverted.

     
    Old 01-24-2003, 01:06 AM   #21
    mushroom1
    Senior Member
     
    mushroom1's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2002
    Location: USA
    Posts: 152
    mushroom1 HB User
    Post

    I don't understand why many of you think it is wrong to shower with a 10 year old...it is just not YOUR style. To each his own on this one, so long as the child feels comfortable.


     
    Old 01-24-2003, 10:18 AM   #22
    LookingForHealth
    Inactive
     
    Join Date: Jan 2003
    Posts: 398
    LookingForHealth HB User
    Post

    Because I can clearly remember that age (9 years ago) and I was in 5th grade and would never take a shower with either parent. They'd probably see me naked sometimes but by that age I think I would have felt too old to shower with my mom. Dad? Out of the question! I think dads and daughters stop doing that once kindergarten starts...it's just awkward...a little girl past the age of 5 standing in the shower with her dad's hairy penis right there?!

     
    Old 01-24-2003, 12:50 PM   #23
    Greenberry
    Veteran
     
    Greenberry's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Aug 2002
    Posts: 353
    Greenberry HB User
    Post

    Maybe I am just old-fashioned, but I think in MOST cases in life, there is a clear right and wrong, good and bad, ok and not ok. And I think adults bathing with 10 year olds falls into the NOT OK category. If someone else thinks differently, whatever. But if asked my opinion about co-ed adult/child bathing, I am going to give it.

     
    Old 01-24-2003, 02:38 PM   #24
    LookingForHealth
    Inactive
     
    Join Date: Jan 2003
    Posts: 398
    LookingForHealth HB User
    Post

    I totally agree Greenberry...I think if I asked all the "normal" people in my surrounding they would all agree that it is WEIRD, esp for a father and daughter.

     
    Old 01-24-2003, 07:59 PM   #25
    wattagirl
    Veteran
     
    wattagirl's Avatar
     
    Join Date: May 2002
    Location: tennessee/usa
    Posts: 339
    wattagirl HB User
    Post

    i hate to offend anyone but i just think it is weird for a mother to bathe/shower with her 10 yr old-daughter or son really-i mean if he has always done this then he doesn't know any difference-i just wonder if years later he will remember and think what the world was that about

     
    Old 01-24-2003, 11:02 PM   #26
    mushroom1
    Senior Member
     
    mushroom1's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2002
    Location: USA
    Posts: 152
    mushroom1 HB User
    Post

    My little girl turned 9 in December, but up until her birthday, she had been occasionally showering with my husband or me on weekends. One of us would already be in the shower and she would ask to join in. She has not asked once since her birthday. It just seems to me that children know what they are comfortable with and know when to stop. I think she will have some nice memories of showering with her father...I don't think she will be embarrassed.

    She attends a Montessori school and they swim once a week...she showers afterwards with all of the other girls and the female teachers. She seems fine with it. She is a happy kid.

    Someone posted that they were "just old fashioned about it" but, modesty has fluctuated throughout history. Our society is actually much more modest than it has been many stages in history.



     
    Old 01-25-2003, 01:18 AM   #27
    LookingForHealth
    Inactive
     
    Join Date: Jan 2003
    Posts: 398
    LookingForHealth HB User
    Post

    I don't know, no one I have ever known would shower with their dad at age 10...it's just unnecessary to 'join in' at such an age. Today many girls are developing pubic/underarm hair, periods, sometimes breast growth at that age. Add to that their awareness of the other sex (basic sex ed is taught at that age) plus seeing their own dad's hairy penis and showering right next to it. Nightmares! I maybe could understand a mother/daughter (mom in her bathing suit) who took a shower together after the beach, but thats about it!! I've also seen that sometimes girls that age will shower with their best friends, being goofy.

     
    Old 01-25-2003, 09:32 PM   #28
    Cheryl3
    Senior Member
     
    Cheryl3's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jul 2002
    Posts: 168
    Cheryl3 HB User
    Post

    For those who can't even stomach the thought of parents and and their same gender children showering together, haven't you ever been in a locker room? If you don't belong to a real swanky health club, sometimes there aren't even any curtains or partitions on the showers.
    __________________
    Cheryl

     
    Old 01-25-2003, 10:12 PM   #29
    bruised
    Senior Member
     
    bruised's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jan 2003
    Location: Canada
    Posts: 206
    bruised HB User
    Post

    To tell you the truth,When I was about 12 and we went swimming for school,I remember the girls flaunting their little bras.I was too embarrassed to do that.I remember now I couldn't understand how they could do that.Even in Grade 8 when we had P.E. they would flaunt their underwear.I still would change in the bathroom.I guess I was raised differently.That your parts aren't for everyone to see.I'm still private to this day even though I'm an adult.Back to the topic though,I still don't think that at that age the kids shouldn't be showering with parents.I would say it's private time for either mommy or daddy and they don't need the kids around.

     
    Old 01-26-2003, 01:29 AM   #30
    LookingForHealth
    Inactive
     
    Join Date: Jan 2003
    Posts: 398
    LookingForHealth HB User
    Post

    I think the reason this is so 'weird' to the majority of us is because it's parents and their not-so-young children showering/bathing together...if i saw a mom in a locker room, well, it isnt MY mom! lol

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    Does anyone know if taking a shower after you bd chysmom Trying to Conceive (TTC) 4 01-10-2006 04:50 PM
    shower for dad? BsChickie Pregnancy 6 12-16-2005 11:55 AM
    Shower, PLEASE SHOWER!!!! I'm praying!!!! LuvMyLilDoggie Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 31 04-15-2005 01:54 AM
    The First Shower ....... angel_bear Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 16 03-10-2005 06:39 PM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:16 PM.





    © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!