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20 year old daughter driving me nuts!

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Old 06-28-2011, 11:33 AM   #1
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20 year old daughter driving me nuts!

Having a major problem with my 20 year old daughter. She lives at home still and Iím a single parent. We get along great until we donít. I donít know if itís hormones or what but after awhile, she starts to pick on me. She picks on me and gets arrogant and suddenly I am not the wonderful person she thought I was a few days ago. This usually lasts until I canít take any more and we have it out. Iím tired of the cycle and need to try to find some way to diffuse the situation. The problem is she knows how to push my buttons and then when I get upset, she backs off and says she didnít mean anything by it so we end up fighting over how something was said instead of what was actually said. Itís passive-aggressive behavior on her part but I donít deal with it well. Any suggestions on how to stop it before it starts?

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Old 06-29-2011, 03:13 PM   #2
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Re: 20 year old daughter driving me nuts!

If she can't be civil, tell her to find another place to live. She's grown.

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Old 10-13-2011, 07:50 PM   #3
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Re: 20 year old daughter driving me nuts!

Seems to me that your daughter is crying out for attention. The anger and arrogant behavior strongly suggest that your 20 yr old is suffering... From what? I don't know, only she does. And unless you talk to her, calmly, about why she is acting this way, it will just continue to escalate. You are the parent still, even when she is 45. Major stresses? Job anxiety? Etc. There are endless possibilities why she is snappy with you. Find out and work together on a solution. Best of luck!

Old 10-13-2011, 11:01 PM   #4
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Re: 20 year old daughter driving me nuts!

She's an adult now. Adult children shouldn't live with their parents. It's just not natural. Help her to leave home and become independent.

She needs to move on and let you live your own life. She needs to start living life as an adult. The problem is the two of you are still living the life of parent/ child but she's no longer a child.

I'm sure the problems she's having with you stem from the fact that she needs to live as an adult, independently from you.

If it's totally impossible right now for her to move out, work towards it and be clear that where you're headed.

It's your house, you're in charge, you make the rules, she follows them. End of.

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