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14 year old daughter has very little/ no respect for me, her mother

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Old 11-24-2011, 01:29 PM   #1
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14 year old daughter has very little/ no respect for me, her mother

Need advise please on how to deal with my 14 year old daughter. Lots of times things have happened which in my opinion are soo rude and disrespecful. She is an intelliegent child who has always been above average at school and with that perhaps at times I feel she is so mature but probably isn't. An example of her behaviour.... today we went into town after school, her request. She had bought boots yesterday and wanted to change them. All fine! The ones she wanted were too tight on her calves! She weighs approx 14 stone. Double what I was at her age!! She was upset and generally I would say something about how much she eats but bit my tongue! Later her grandma comes after and 14 year old starts to make herself a hot chocolate.Grandma tries to say behind her back shes putting on weight!! And I said loudly and honestly, yes she is putting on weight but wont listen to me! She then started josting(not the correct word) her neck.ENDED up with her calling me a fat cow!! I know its not the whole story but soooo frustrated with her. HELP!!!

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Old 12-30-2011, 02:03 PM   #2
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Re: 14 year old daughter has very little/ no respect for me, her mother

I think maybe if you didn't make comments, and grandma didn't make comments about her weight, she may not get her feelings hurts and feel worthless and not good enough, and may be more open to having a closer relationship with you. She is at a VERY impressionable age and her self esteem is very delicate. This is the age where she is going to start discovering who she is. Being told she is overweight all the time, is going to effect her self esteem in a destructive way. I would try loving her for who she is, and not focus so much on her weight. If you pressure her about her weight, she is more likely to act out and end up resenting you and hating herself. I think you should stop with the comments, and since you buy the groceries, maybe make healthier choices.

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Old 04-22-2012, 08:44 PM   #3
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Re: 14 year old daughter has very little/ no respect for me, her mother

Does she react like that all the time? Maybe she just reacted like that because of your comment? If she only did it during that time, then you should apologize to her. If she reacts like that all the time, then it's time to start dealing with your disrespectful teen and curb that while it's still early. Usually teaching her the right behaviors that you wanted her to emulate is a good start. Be an example as well so that she can pick up that kind of behavior and follow it. Talk to her calmly when she behaves badly, don't get angry and shout at her because this will only make her behave badly even more.

Old 04-23-2012, 02:25 AM   #4
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Re: 14 year old daughter has very little/ no respect for me, her mother

If my own mother and grandmother spoke about my weight in front of me like that, I would get pretty disrespectful too. My father used to do that all the time, and I still feel the hurt and anger.

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