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split family

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Old 06-18-2012, 07:55 PM   #1
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: honolulu, hawaii
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jennarae23 HB User
split family

My boyfriend and I live together in Hawaii (he is military) and he has 3 girls from his previous marriage. He gets them all summer long. While he does not tell her what she needs to do while she has the girls during her time, she is constantly telling him what he needs to do and what his rules need to be. They have very different parenting skills. He believes in having them pick up after themselves and teaching them how to behave appropriately. His 12 year old is constantly texting her and saying how miserable she is and how mean we are to her- we are at a loss and not sure what to do! He pays child support and she is constantly telling him he needs to pay for their school stuff. She wants him to pay 1600 per child on school stuff! It is a little ridiculous..... He doesn't have that kind of money and he already pays for their flights to and from- which is not cheap. I am constantly being blamed for all the bad and we don't know what to do about any of it! i work to help support him and his children (and obviously myself). She stays at home (keep in mind, these children are all school aged). They are constantly wanting and complaining when they don't get their way and everytime we turn around, his ex is telling him what a POS he is and how he is too hard on the girls. We are not unreasonable. We work together and that is how we both decided it needs to be so the kids can't try to con us or split us apart. We don't know how to deal with a lot of what is happening. The ex can act super reasonable, but then when things don't go the way she wants them to go, she lashes out on us! Or worse, lets the girls know how much she hates us! Can someone lend some good advice- I have been on the internet all day trying to find something useful..... How do you deal with the crazy reactions of the dreaded ex factor?

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Old 06-19-2012, 01:05 AM   #2
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Re: split family

Basically you cannot do anything about the ex. She will behave like this and that is it. What you an control is the way he and you deal with the kids. He has every right to expect them to tidy up etc etc. but be sure that he is not always the critical father. My husband, though he loved his kids dearly, was always a bit too ready to remind, lecture, and correct them. Don't sweat the small stuff, they are on holiday after all. Ignore the ex's rants, and never bring the kids into it. so what if the daughter moans to her mother? Just shrug it off and don't enter into any dialogue about it. In the course of a lifetime, these adolescent years are just a bump in the road. Just keep the lines of communication open, and never give up. Sera

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