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  • I have hit my bottom point in delusional thinking

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    Old 01-19-2019, 07:15 PM   #1
    payers24
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    I have hit my bottom point in delusional thinking

    I am diagnosed with OCD, GAD, and depression. One thing I have never addressed in therapy is my severe distrust of others. I think people saying nice things to me is back handed, that people at work at always talking about how horrible I am at my job or how weird I am, I convince myself that my therapist mocks me the moment I leave the office and I even think people assume I beat my wife because I am so odd socially. I was doing research and this sounds like Paranoid Personality Disorder.

    Recently I got a review at work, I expected it to be bad (I destroyed myself on my self evaluation), but the review ended up being excellent. Not good enough for me. I didn't believe it. I stupidly did something I never did before and set my smartphone to record audio convinced I would pick up conversation about my review that was the truth. All I got was someone picking up my phone off my desk and basically catching me.

    I honestly don't feel bad just because I got caught but I also don't have a history violating ethics like this. I the idea I hurt people's privacy too. It is wrong. This was on Tuesday and nobody said anything. I am not sure they will because they only knew because someone picked up my phone off my desk and hit the unlock button to see the recording app running.

    I am ashamed I got to this point and I think I need to bring up with my health Care providers that there are deeper issues than anxiety and depression.

    Also, I am ready to go into work, confess, and accept my fate. I did wrong and I deserve the consequences. I can't use mental heath as an excuse.

    Last edited by Administrator; 01-19-2019 at 07:35 PM.

     
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    Old 01-20-2019, 09:33 AM   #2
    JohnR41
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    Re: I have hit my bottom point in delusional thinking

    Hi Payers24,

    I'm going to give an answer to the question you didn't ask: A healthy diet of natural whole foods and regular, moderate, aerobic, exercise is good for the brain.

    Best wishes
    John

     
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