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  • Am I dating a narcissist?

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    Old 07-06-2019, 07:57 PM   #1
    jer2381
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    Am I dating a narcissist?

    Iíve been in an off again on again relationship with my gf since 2012. I realize itís a difunctional relationship but Iíve gotten extremely attached to her 5 year old daughter and weíve even discussed the possibility of adoption. However, Iíve reached a point where I can hardly stand my gf anymore. I never considered that she had a personality disorder but things Iíve read have convinced me that is likely the case. Reading the traits of a narcissist I can see she shares a lot of similarities. She does all the talking and I never feel she cares to hear what I have to say. We can never compromise on anything. If I tell her to please do something or point out something about something she does that bothers me (usually how sheís messy) it results in a fight about how Iím criticizing her. Iím always somehow offensive and Iíll have to back track on what just happened because I donít see where anything I said was remotely offensive. She has pressured me to marry her for the past few years which resulted in a couple break ups. Thatís one thing I didnít read as a narcissistic trait. They usually trend to not want commitment. But she has an unhealthy fixation on marriage. Does anyone have any insight on whether itís possible to be a narcissist and still want marriage? I know I need to end it but I was in such a depressive state when we last broke up because I couldnít be a father to her daughter. Itís a hell of a predicament.

     
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    Old 07-07-2019, 09:53 AM   #2
    quincy
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    Re: Am I dating a narcissist?

    There are more red flags than just your suspicions of her being a narccist....for one, you need to ask yourself why you need her and keep going back. It's really about you, your decisions and your needs, not about her or her daughter.

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    Old 07-07-2019, 10:21 AM   #3
    MSNik
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    Re: Am I dating a narcissist?

    Hi there.
    Whether she is a narcissist or not does not really seem to be the issue here. If she is, she is...if she isn't - whatever. It still doesn't explain her behavior. This is what you want in your life?

    Unfortunately, you need to work on you as well because if you keep going back to this person simply because of her daughter.....thats a real problem. You clearly see things wrong with the relationship. Now you have to accept that you are not in any way the parent of her child, and you do have to move on without either of them. You wrote "I was in such a depressive state when we last broke up because I couldnít be a father to her daughter.' This is really the issue here and it's yours- not hers.

    No, you cannot be the father to a child you have no rights to... but do you want to be the husband of someone you apparently dont like? You cant have it one way without the other. Unfortunately. Look into getting yourself some help- and dont worry about if titles of what is wrong with her... she certainly isn't worried about it
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