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Kaitie 09-20-2002 11:55 AM

Stupid Stupid Stress
I am so mad. *phew* had to get that one out. No seriously though, I am really mad and upset and so exhausted I just want to cry, infact I am crying - which really sucks because I'm at school in front of a whole bunch of mature 'adults' who can obviously handle this course load, whereas I definately CANNOT.

I am so mad at my boyfriend right now I don't even want to see him, of course he's in the same program as me, and well - he wonders into my classes occasionally. Today I was so happy to see him, then things didn't go exactly as planned becuase he didn't help me on my site plan exactly as planned and now I'm so mad I just don't want to see him. I tried to get him out of my class. Now he's all peeved at me saying that I "shouldn't take (my) bad moods out on (him)".

I was walking down the halls today and a whole group of trades students said (under their breath to me) -
"I wonder what had to breed to make THAT". I'm not an ugly girl. Sure I'm ******* tired - and probably don't look the greatest but that was just so bloody mean!

And Just to give you an idea of my stress and workload...


-Civil Engineering assignment
-Stair floor plan and elevation
-Site Plan
-Three different Autocad Assignments
-Physics Assignment
and last but not least - Math homework.

I'm so tired of this - you know that feeling when you look straight ahead but it looks like everythings still moving? THAT type of tired - I can't focus, I missed a whole morning of notes and yeah...make it stop!

This is stupid - but tommorow I'm leaving on a one week cruise WITH my boyfriend - and I haven't even started packing. I keep thinking about THAT - and then because this is my first trip ever - I've spent half the morning in the bathroom feeling sick because I'm scared to fly back - or what if they forget me, or I forget my luggage or or or...

I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo *everything* I don't know if it's anger or exhaustion or overreaction or what but I want it to stop now now now!

I haven't been able to eat.

I'm sorry this is so long. I needed to get it out though before I exploded.

Thanks Guys - what are your tricks for stress?
(Oh, and I know this doesn't have much to do with personality disorders - but I'd prefer to post here because it's a package deal, you have BPD - you have everything else....)

With a Headache the size of my cruise ship tommorow!

blue cloud 09-23-2002 06:23 AM

katie i am so sorry you are having such a rough time i really do know what you mean when you have so much going on for you your head wont stop jumping from one thing to another and if you dont get it all sorted in that peicise minute you will just explode!

it is horrible i try to say to myself if no-one is going to die if i dont get this done then its not that important and that calms me down for at least the noxt few minutes till i realise i still have a million and one things to do RIGHT NOW

sorry i dont have some great advice for you but at least you are not alone :)

i like the way you called BPD a package deal its so true but made me chuckle [img][/img]

we are here if you need us :D

love and bubbles blue

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