It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Personality Disorder Message Board

  • Does this sound like a borderline relationship

  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 01-01-2004, 08:05 AM   #1
    oneneatguy's Avatar
    Join Date: Jan 2004
    Posts: 1
    oneneatguy HB User
    Does this sound like a borderline relationship

    I have been reading the posts on this website and would like some feedback from you as to whether this sounds like a relationship with a borderline.

    Two years ago I met a woman, who I thought was the love of my life (long distance relationship). Warm, caring, understanding. However there was always another side to her, an unexplainable dark side. We were both married at the time we met, her marriage (very tumultuous) was ending, I was in the process of ending my marriage. A year into our relationship, I found out that she was planning on meeting another man for the weekend. When I confronted her about it she denied, denied, denied. After being confronted with irrefutable evidence she claimed that she was afraid that I would not end up being with her. She then went onto to say it was out of her control if this man happened to visit her home town. We hashed this out. She then went onto to tell me about her best friendv(10 years her junior, IMHO a narcissist). I had had concerns about the nature of their relationship. She told me she would sleep over at his house, in his bed but their was never any sex. They were just good friends. I told her that it was fine having a male friend, however I asked her to stop the sleepovers as I was not comfortable with that.
    I asked her to tell me when she was going out with him, my insecurity, probably.
    A month later, another incident happened and again she lied about their relationship. I questioned her on it, she said she promised to be truthful, two minutes later she was lying again. When I called her on it, she broke down and then took an overdose of tylenol. (this was the second suicide attempt in two months, the first one was percipitated after her mother started hitting her, I think her mother is bi-polar). We went for to see a couples counsellor, he met with us both for 20 minutes and then individually for 20 minutes. After the meeting, we discussed what was said. He didnt say anything to me except it was good that you are coming in for counselling, he told her he wanted to see her immediately. She has not gone for any counselling.
    All through our relationship their were in hindsight signs that there was something wrong. She often told me she has felt different, empty ever since she was a little girl, compulsive shopping - buying designer clothes when there were no groceries for her 3 kids, denial, 2 suicide attempts that I know of, blanking out - not feeling, extreme mood swings. I could go on and on. I thought this may have been due to mood swings related to her thyroid condition (she is on synthyroid, and forgets to take it at times).
    We have now broken up, I moved out to be with her in early December, she told me she was not ready, and asked me to go home. On the drive home, I was involved in a car accident, rolled my truck. I called her to tell her what had happened, she told me she couldnt talk as she had to take her daughter to the hospital. I found out she was lying again, she was on a date with her best friend. The next day she told me she was not in love with me but in love with her best friend.
    The relationship is over, I do care for her and worry about her and her children.
    Two questions I have, one does this craziness sound like a relationship with a borderline (I have spoken to two acquaintances who work with psychiatric patients, they both said borderline immediately). I am trying to come to terms with what happened. I am not big on labeling people and blaming. Second, they both said run for the hills, break all contact with this woman as you are looking at a world of Jerry Springer if she gets back in your life. Should I run for the hills, or should I try to help in anyway (ie. pass on information regarding bpd). I dont want to offend her or sound like sour grapes by passing on information that she is borderline.

    Sponsors Lightbulb
    Old 07-15-2004, 05:13 AM   #2
    cth's Avatar
    Join Date: May 2004
    Posts: 68
    cth HB User
    Unhappy Re: Does this sound like a borderline relationship

    Run for the hills! And while you are at it try to get some therapy to find out why you are attracted to her. Good luck. (She sure sounds like she has some kind of personality disorder or perhaps bipolar like her mom). cth

    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    Clicking Sound With Heartbeat? Cassie479 Heart Disorders 2 04-03-2011 07:45 PM
    New to TMJ, does anyone relate to this story? Tracey R TMJ Disorder -TemporoMandibular Joint 4 04-28-2010 02:25 PM
    Is borderline personality disorder inheritable? SpicyGirl82 Personality Disorder 13 09-22-2008 04:44 AM
    What causes borderline personality disorder? bleedingsoul88 Personality Disorder 37 08-12-2005 10:13 PM
    How does a person know when it's over and just not bother trying? Bambi27 Relationship Health 54 04-06-2004 10:19 AM

    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off

    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:09 AM.

    © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!