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what have i done


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Old 12-30-2005, 04:34 PM   #1
benny84
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what have i done

hello there,

I'll start from the bottom.
The episodes started when i realized that i lost trust and with my peers and close family at the ripe age of 19.
This eventually led to the break down of a beautiful relationship. I started accussing my partner of cheating with my friends and would be quite insultive-i look back at what i said and cant believe the distgusting words that came out of mouth.
i even accused her of drug dealing???
I know now that i created this ******** because i felt so empty and confused and just wnted to get some form of attention. I love this girl so much and put her through hell for quite some time and she stuck by me
I want our beautiful relationship back because i believe we are soulmates but i am scared that i will become abusive and distrustful towards her. It hurts me to realize i must of hurt her so much for her to end the relationship.
I refuse to take PM so am using herbs and natural remidies. i dont know exactly what to do. i guess i can only hope on her forgivness at a min.
Im not sure if i am bpd or bi-pol but my behavior is not what i believe in and quite unusual. my mood swings and change in character is unerving and worrying.
Any advice would be of value and appreciated.

 
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Old 12-30-2005, 06:15 PM   #2
marysmile
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Re: what have i done

Since it sounds like these symptoms came up kind of all of the sudden, maybe you should go to a medical doctor and then go from there. And if your girlfreind is still talking to you, tell her you are sincerely sorry

 
Old 12-31-2005, 11:24 PM   #3
Sukiakachan
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Re: what have i done

Sometimes people make things up for attention its true. Maybe deep down your just a jelious person or a nervous person. It doesnt have to mean you have a dissorder. Sometimes people are just parannoyed. Without realizeing it you may have been bottleing up emotions which can lead to random outbursts. I suggest, my friend, that you become friends with this angel once again, hang out ya know? become really good friends, when she has to leave see if you have any feelings of anger or if its just dissipointment because she has to leave. make sure you know how you'll be when your together again before you go out with her again. These feelings could also have come from loving her to much or to the point of obsessing. just be careful...good luck

 
Old 01-04-2006, 03:49 PM   #4
emmsypoo
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Re: what have i done

I went out with a guy kris for 11 months and i loved him with all my heart and sole and it got so much that i got scared, i then started getting really jealous everytime he didnt text me back i even got jealous that he would spend time with his friend rather than come and see me and when i realised i was getting jealous i shut off and didnt want to put him through this anymore but the thought of ending it made me want to die so i found myself making him and my best friend at the time flirt with each other then went mental at them both and eventually kris couldnt handle it anymore and he dumped me i have still not got over it 11 months on. so i know how you feel. kris started going bk out with his ex stacey about 8 days later. so i couldnt have meant that much to him really could i?

 
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