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oh gosh what do i have?

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Old 02-12-2007, 06:17 AM   #1
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: sumter, sc
Posts: 13
faithehopelove HB User
Question oh gosh what do i have?

what disorder is this?

i'm always questioning my boyfriend to see if he cares even when he has told me he does. i always need reassurance. i'm always thinking he's looking at other girls. if he's not home or with me then i constantantly worry about where he is like if hes with someone else or not.

and example:

last night i had to work and he told me he was going to the pharmancy to get his meds and then to walmart. i got off of work and caled him and he said he was in walmart. i was like you been in there for 3 hours? and he was like yeah. said he had been looking around a lot and got a lot of stuff. i went on and on about how i didnt know anyone to stay in there that long and just not believing him. like he might've been somewhere else or something. then i told him i had to go and i was going to say i had to get out of the work parking lot but he said okay and hung up. so i got all upset. and i tried to call him back a few times but no answer. so i got really upset and was crying and getting hysterical and hitting myself and banging my hand on the wheel of the car and driving my car weird. i was so upset. i kept dialing the # over and over til he answered and turns out he was on the phone with his mom.

so i went to the walmart parking lot across from wehre i work and sat there and told him to find me when he came out. and i layed my seat back and was just so upset. that i just curled up in my seat til he came. i was also having a bad headache too. and being over emotional. and he came to my car after he came out and i was all upset. he told me to come over.

and he had went to my house earlier and left stuff in my room to suprise me. i just found it today but he told me last night but not what it was. it was early vday stuff. he aske dmy mom if he could put it all in my room and he set it up all on my bed and stuff to surpise me a lot of stuff. and i feel awful after i said he wasnt in the store that long and all and got so inseucre.

the other day we met at the park and i was all moody after work and cause i coulndt get my sont aht day cause i ahd to work the next day. and i was all moody with him and having a bad attitude and all and he got mad at me and all saying not to take it out on him and i went off later saying how he didnt care about me and all kind of stuff.

i'm always asking him if he wants to date others or if he wants to just be friends but he always says he wants to stay with me but he wants us to stop aruging all the time.

then the other day i got in his truck and the seat was back. i said why is this seat back and of course accused him of having someone in the truck. and i got out and got in my car and drove off. and we argued on the phnone about who it was and he said he didnt know how it got back. then i remembered the night before when i rode with hima nd we layed our seats back in the parking lot to rest b4 going in. i felt so stupid that i accused him when i forgot about that incident.

he wants me to go get meds and says his mom will take me but he wont discusss with me how i feel most of the time. he just wants me to see a doc to feel better. and i feel like he just wants me to go get meds so i can feel better so he dont have to worry about it. why won't he just talk to me then?

i self injure too sometimes like w/my nails or hitming myself when we getin argumenta and he walks off or hangs up or for other reasons.

what is wrong with me????

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Old 02-13-2007, 08:01 AM   #2
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suziewoozie HB User
Re: oh gosh what do i have?

you havent 'got' anything sweetheart. you seem to have severe self esteem issues.

make an appointment with your gp and ask about counselling services in your area. please.

i dont know why you feel this way, but i can sympathise, as i have felt the same way in past relationships, and if im honest, a little bit too, even now, but i try to keep it under control. it doesnt help that im now with a man nine years my junior, who is very good looking. i struggle with myself, but i know he would never be unfaithful. its just my mixed up head.

i just think with you, these feeling have taken over and you feel totally out of control. you need constant reassurance, but your partner could never give you enough, no matter how hard he tried.

just try to explain that you do trust him really (as im sure you do) and that you just have some stuff in your head that you need to sort out. but if you are to feel better, i really would give counselling a go, as its sometimes impossible to do it all yourself.

all the best to you, really, and a big hug (((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))

Old 02-13-2007, 06:03 PM   #3
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 463
strongernow HB User
Re: oh gosh what do i have?

I don't know. Do you think he is cheating on you?
Maybe you are angry?

Old 02-14-2007, 05:34 AM   #4
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faithehopelove HB User
Re: oh gosh what do i have?

no i know hes not. i just change moods all the time over dumb stuff.

Old 03-11-2007, 03:22 AM   #5
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Join Date: Feb 2007
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melissa24 HB User
Re: oh gosh what do i have?

Hey ,
Reading whats been happening to you makes me think of me when I was younger ( 18-21) .
I was so much the same and I tell you what it is , low self esteem .
I had the lowest self esteem and it didn't help that my ex was really mean to me - he made me believe for so long that my paranoia was all in my head then found out years later he was cheating on me - not saying your man is cheating on you but def sounds like low self esteem .
Anyway like susiewoosie said ,get it checked out , you don't want to live like that , goodluck xo

Old 04-07-2007, 08:47 PM   #6
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: sumter, sc
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faithehopelove HB User
Unhappy Re: oh gosh what do i have?

i went for help. was told i have bipolar and bpd and i'm on meds now. lamictal or something like that. is this all symtpoms of it??

Old 04-15-2007, 03:35 PM   #7
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: la
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mymusiclife HB User
Re: oh gosh what do i have?

Hey...your not alone!!! I'm going threw the same thing right now with my gf. I go into her room and I'm starting to look around for clues and things that changed... Over the past month or so I have been asking her if she is sure she wants to be with me.. I know exactly how you feel...she did see someone while me and her were "dating" each other in the begining of our relationship but now she clames that she is faithfull to me....
we are starting to argue almost every day now... I'm thinking of calling this counsiling place, I hope that works...and I hope it works out with you ok...

Old 04-26-2007, 04:54 PM   #8
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Vernon, CT, USA
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SwimmerGirl12 HB User
Re: oh gosh what do i have?

"YOU" DON'T HAVE ANYTHING. it is more like what is HE doing to make you feel like way. Get away from him. it isn;t a healthy relationsjop.

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