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    Old 04-17-2009, 09:15 AM   #1
    lalalaaa's Avatar
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    lalalaaa HB User
    For anyone who thinks they may have or someone else has a personality disorder.

    Hey everyone, just thought that talking about this may help some of yous who think you may have or worry that someone you are close to might have a personality disorder.

    I have been having help with my mental health difficulties for approx 7 years now. In passing conversation once, one of my less helpful counselor's i have had referred to me as a "borderline personality".

    I looked up BPD on the internet and found all sorts of characteristics that were relevant to me to mull over and help shape my identity as a person with this "disorder".

    Some years after this i brought it up to my latest counselor who has been very helpful. She immediately spent the rest of the session explaining things to me.

    She explained that a "borderline personality" is not the same as a person who suffers from BPD. A BP is a person who displays a number of the characteristics of BPD but never all of them at the same time and it is not permanent. As i am now, they would say that i was not BP because i no longer self harm etc. I do not display enough of the characteristics, so i have the all clear.

    On the one hand, it can be very helpful to find out that you have a disorder, it can help to explain many things that you have felt you have not had control over.

    However, it can also be very unhelpful. Giving yourself a label can also serve to make you identify with your difficulties rather than challenge them.

    Many people go on to let these identities control their lives, dictate what they can and cant do.

    The "Its not me, its the personality disorder" attitude is very disempowering. Its not about blame, its about learning to take responsibility for your actions. Learning to take responsibility for your actions isnt about blame either, its just about trying to be independent.

    I still have many difficulties now. Its very difficult when i get caught up in one of my spirals, it seems like there is nothing i can do about it. I have gradually been learning methods of coping, but there are no quick fixes or magic pills (although i am on the try cyclic - lofepramine), it all begins with me taking responsibility for my own fate and taking action to change it.

    I hope no-one misunderstands where i am coming from here, I am just trying to tell people to go easy on themselves and not get too caught up in the label game, it can create many unnecessary restrictions in life.

    And also, you may think after looking at a website about personality disorders that because you experience some of the things they describe, you have this personality disorder, but actually, you may just have some tendencies that may be causing you some troubles in life that with some work you will be able to overcome. Noticing these tendencies is half the battle, trying to identify and then challenge them in future situations is the next step!

    Good luck.

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    Old 06-27-2009, 05:08 AM   #2
    Julia20's Avatar
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    Re: For anyone who thinks they may have or someone else has a personality disorder.

    I have many lables by doctors already: psychotic; depressed; alcoholic; addictive. They're sending me to this place which deals with people with personality disorders, you get given psycho-therapy. I don't think I have a personality disorder and I don't want one. I'm sick of people telling me what I **** up I am.
    Someone said to me if you have a personality disorder we wouldn't be able to sit here and have a decent conversation. I do tend to have black and white views. Like when someone does something bad to me it's wrong, end of friendship. I get upset very easily but I've always been hyper-sensitive. It's part of who I am. I'd change it if I could but I can't.
    Apart from that I don't think I have anything else.
    I agree with you on the lableing and people blaming every bad thing they do on the lables. I hate it when people do that. I've never blamed my mistakes on anything but my own mis-judgement or anger. Be the bigger person and apologise. Don't make excuses. The thing is if you keep blaming everything on something else you're going to keep making the same mistake. You'll never learn.
    Anyway, that's all I have to say.
    See ya.

    Old 07-04-2009, 05:28 AM   #3
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    Re: For anyone who thinks they may have or someone else has a personality disorder.

    THANK YOU, lalalaaa!!!

    I'm so glad you pointed out the issue of labels. I don't know how many times I've heard people say, "He/She's a (insert diagnosis)" instead of saying the person 'has' or 'suffers from' said diagnosis. You never hear people with socially acceptable illnesses labeled that way. When was the last time you heard someone say, "He's a prostate cancer," or "She's an endometriosis?" NEVER!! Just as anyone else with an illness, we are PEOPLE first!!! And we shouldn't be defined by our illness!!!

    I LOVED what you said about taking responsibility for your actions & not playing the blame game. We all know, logically, that never got anyone anywhere.

    I, personally, think it's great that you also took the time to find out what your diagnosis was, as well as say, "Hey, I don't want to be that way," and make a concerted effort to change it, even though some experts say a personality disorder can't go're just that way!!! Unfortunately, 'the system' is far from perfect & it's VERY easy to get labeled, have meds thrown at you & be forgotten about, especially in the mental health side of the health care industry. I hope you & you're family are VERY proud of what you've done, because it isn't easy by any stretch of the imagination!!!

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    WD1612 (10-13-2012)
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