HealthBoards (
-   Personality Disorder (
-   -   Am I feeling too emotional sensitive or is it others making me feel worthless? (

bombom 07-24-2013 08:17 PM

Am I feeling too emotional sensitive or is it others making me feel worthless?

I'm a female that has have epilepsy for 37yrs now. This maybe a long post so I hope some of you will take the time and have the patience to read this post, because I really could use some advice. I was able to do things on my own. Meaning I was able to live, drive, work, and go to college, but one of my docs started me on some meds that caused me to hallucinate, and have grand mal seizures back to back. I fall down, and cause so many injuries that my job let me go, because they said I was a high risk. Even the college I was going to told me I had to stop going to my classes because of the same reason. Every time I tried to get a new job I was always let go, they always found a reason to where I couldn't come back at them. You see, because of the grand mal sz my concentration, focus, and memory, is so bad that I couldn't keep up with the job positions that was given to me. The falling all the time was the biggest topper of them all. So I had to be put on disability, and I hate it!!! I know some people may think that just because some people with sz that have sz like me yet work. I should be able to be able to do the same. Well here's a news flash if I had my choice I would rather be out there working, and going to college. You know doing something for myself, but it's not something that can't be helped. You see not only is it bad to feel like others look at me because of the situation that I'm in. It's worse when your own family makes you feel worthless. I mean they do understand my situation, because they see what I go through every time I have my sz. Except certain of them make me feel small like when we have family gatherings, and there's conversations going on, when I try to enter into the conversation most of the time it's like they cut me off like what I have to say isn't important. As if I'm not smart enough to have an opinion, or understand the conversation all together. I'm 40 yrs old now but sometimes they make me feel like I'm not even an adult. My mom is one of the worst because when we have company, and during the conversations if I say something to try to feel like part of the crowd. she either cuts me off, or gives me a look as if what I have to say isn't even worth saying. About 1yr ago my mom, and dad took my grandmother to see her brother in Chicago, we are from texas, anyways she expected me to go with them, but I told her no I would stay with my sister because there was only going to be adults there trying to give her a hint. Then she said well you are an adult too you know, and then I just thought in my mind yeah right! Sometimes I wonder if you even see me as that! I hate to go on vacation when with my parent's when it's them and my grandmother. I know it sounds bad, but They make me feel worse because they treat me less then around family members that we hardly ever see if we see them at all!!! I was raised to respect my elders so what can I say when my grandmother, and mother make me feel worthless in front of others, without showing disrespect? I don't mention my dad in this, because thanks to God my dad has a good heart, and never make me feel this way. Am I being too emotionally sensitive, or would this give anyone a reason to feel depressed, and hopeless? Oh, and by the way my mom, and grandmother are just two of the few that make me feel this way. I hope that some of you have taken the time to read this post, because I really could use some advice on this matter thank you, and God! Bless!

keenobserver 08-01-2013 09:50 PM

Re: Am I feeling too emotional sensitive or is it others making me feel worthless?
With all that has happened, you would expect a bit more support from your family. Usually people get ignorant to mental health issues and that always makes things worse. I just want to know whether you have taken new medicine to stabilise you after getting many seizures.

In the mean time, try to avoid your family members that are ignorant towards you and your condition. They do not understand you and make you feel worse than before meeting them.
Please let us know how your help has changed since your life changed around, I do not think that your condition has stayed unstable since your new medicine but correct me if I am wrong. Thanks

Seraph 08-02-2013 04:34 AM

Re: Am I feeling too emotional sensitive or is it others making me feel worthless?
I don't think you are over-sensitive, but you will not change them, you can only change your dealings with them. Everything they say and do is wrong, but in their minds, I bet you are still a little kid. Some people with disorders that start in childhood can be infantilised by their families and not "permitted" to grow up.
You need to toughen up your skin, and try to find interests outside the family. I get that your seizures prevent you from living a full life, but there are ways you can make a real contribution by volunteering your time. Also you can be an external student and be educated online, don't just give up on school.
The main thing is to not allow your family to get to you. Respond to them in an adult way always, just remember that they cannot make you feel a certain way, you let it in and choose to be hurt. Yes, there is a choice here and you can choose to shed it off and not let it in. Sera

toddswed21 03-26-2014 01:30 PM

Re: Am I feeling too emotional sensitive or is it others making me feel worthless?
I can clearly relate. The unfortunate thing I see at times is that everyone does tend to care for themselves more than others. Example: I don't want to deal with your epilepsy because I hate controversy or don't want to know about it.
Out of sight, out of mind concept.
My seizures have been not much and not able to be seen by many. I don't care to advertise, because some don't know what to say or do. And it leaves me with a disheartening feeling as well. I may be being self centered, but hope that is not the case. Others do have feelings, but it is a two way street.
My mother has depression issues, which could be stemmed from dealing with my epilepsy for the last 40 years. I am one that also gets told what to do at times. And feel it is either that way or the highway. Criticism can be good, but most should try to look at it like this. Don't just snap and say something bad.
My mother may hate what she sees in me, because she is thinking that might be what she did and has raised a son that can't do anything, in her eyes at least. Both of my past jobs have been getting let go. I had seizures on the floors and did not receive any good mentions from anyone. Asking if I am ok or what not. Abiding by company policies and regulations or what not. Oh, don't say anything to him about it, he may sue us. I would never be one to consider that. Where has all the compassion gone. Now with my employment history looking like crap, I don't even think anyone wants to bother. I dont' want to go on disability, because that is me telling myself I can't get things done.
I hope that you can find some compassion from others on how they may help. Another thing to mention is that I am now a christian that believes in Jesus Christ who died for our sins. The Lord accepts our inequalities and sins and does not judge. Praise God.
I hope that you have been getting better. Prayers for you and your well being. Everything is always a struggle , which does show our perseverance. Best of wishes to you and God Bless.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:48 PM.