It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Phobias Message Board

Fear of schizofrenia and phobias!

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 06-05-2004, 08:04 AM   #1
Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 21
Taurus80 HB User
Red face Fear of schizofrenia and phobias!

Hi there,
I'm Taurus, first of all sorry for my bad english, I'm italian!
I've been diagnosized with an "obsessive-phobic neurosis" 2 years ago because I have a huge fear of developing schizophrenia or already being schizophrenic!
All this chaos started when I had a bad period in my life and I thought that mental illness were very scary (my granny has Alzheimer)! I began searching on the net for symptoms,first of various mental disturbs, then of schizophrenia, in order to reassure myself by saying,for example "See?You don't have hallucinations or delusions etc. so you don't have to worry" but this searching has sorted the opposite effect because I started to fear every symptom I read about and when I am on a "searching tour" I am nearly sure I've everything, it seems to me like I challenge myself in virtually recreating these symptoms, for example: "Ok you don't have this, but what if you had it? Let's try to recreate it, if you fail, you don't have it!" and of course everytime I play this game, I lose, because even if I am certainly unable of recreating hallucinations, I can recreate other things like paranoia etc.
I don't believe in these thought but they're so automatic that I think "Oh, you've thought it directly, without a "what if", so you believe it!You're schizophrenic!".
I'm always seeking reassurance either by searching on the net, or by asking my mother which is a medic, and even if she says that I'm well and that I suffer from anxiety and phobias because I'm in a delicate moment of my youth (21 years!) I'm always obsessed that maybe everyone is wrong or they're unable to see the illness because I've read (hehe ) that the prodromal phase of schizophrenia is difficult to diagnosize! So I start to think that I'm more isolated than before and that it seems that I don't love anyone anymore, and I freak out because I start to think it's the onset of schizophrenia.
Another thing that reassures me is the "lack of insight" typical of schizoprenic people, but I've read 2 sites where it was said that only 50-60% of schizophrenic people have lack of insight...and so I thought "Oh God, maybe I'm one of the 40% which don't have lack of insight!"...but I'm sure that even if it was 99% I would have obsessed myself about that 1% possibility
The things I fear the most are: schizophrenia (with all the symptoms: paranoia, delusions etc.), hurting my parents or girlfriend, that I don't love anyone (so I'm schizophrenic), and in general the most stupid things that my mind can create.
Also, is there anyone that has absurd thoughts about coincidences or signs about something?For example, I see in a library a book called "Without blood" and I think "Oh, maybe it's a sign that I must kill people without bloodshed?" and then I think how silly is that thought and I panic because I thought it!
Please, help me, I don't want to ruin my life because of these thoughts, and I want to be sure I'm not crazy!It's normal to have these thoughts? I suffer from anxiety and anxiety people never go it true?
I don't take any drugs because I don't believe in them, and there are periods where I'm very well and full of energies! I'm also a Reiki practicionier, an oriental discipline that focuses on healing energy, and this helped alot!

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 06-05-2004, 11:17 AM   #2
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 100
Portia26 HB User
Re: Fear of schizofrenia and phobias!

Hi Taurus!
I'm sorry I don't ahve the time to make a long reply, but I just want you to know I am EXACTLY like you. Every worry you mention in your post, I too have had. I have had many different kinds of obsessions, and at the moment my schizophrenia fear is not so bad, but it has been horrible and to the point where I was SURE I was schizophrenic. In reality, I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and some OCD. I just want you to know you are not alone, and you are not schizophrenic! You are just anxious like me! Take good care of yourself, I'll write a longer post when I get a chance.

Old 06-05-2004, 05:25 PM   #3
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 123
girl3900 HB User
Re: Fear of schizofrenia and phobias!

I myself haven't dealt with that fear but I know how terrifying these things can be. I used to obsessively research every little thing I thought was wrong with me and I was convinced I had just about every disease you could imagine. If I read about an illness such as AIDs for example, I'd start to imagine all the symptoms. This is obviously what you are doing here and in this case, more knowledge isn't necessarily a good thing. The more you try to find out if you really are schizo, the worse off you're probobly going to be. If I were you, I'd try not to read about it anymore. It'll start to consume you and make you believe things that aren't there. It's happened to me and I had to quit researching everything. Someone could tell me for hours that I wasn't dying of a serious illness but I'd still worry about it....It fades with time.

Old 06-06-2004, 09:03 AM   #4
Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 21
Taurus80 HB User
Re: Fear of schizofrenia and phobias!

Thanks alot for your replies!I know that searching on the net isn't the best thing to do, but sometimes I do it because I hope to find something like "Don't worry Taurus, I assure you that you are not schizophrenic and you'll not become schizophrenic.". I know it's impossibile, but I kept searching and discovered many horrible symptoms that I have assimilated; right now I'm struggling with paranoia, I think some crazy thought like "Why my girlfriend said that?Maybe is some kind of message?" and then I ask her why she said that thing...then I worry because I asked her about this thing, and so I think that I believe in these delusional things!
I don't consider myself paranoid because I know that these thoughts are absurd and they're coming from all the disturbs that I've read on internet, but I've the fear that I'll become one if I continue thinking these symptoms!
My doc said that he has more probabilities than me of becoming mad, because I am anxious, wow that was reassuring...until I read that schizophrenic people may have, guess what...anxiety!

Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Can Someone Please Help Me With This Fear (Or Phobia) Fourteen12 Phobias 4 04-28-2008 04:36 AM
fear of dying in sleep tim1972 Mental Health 7 11-27-2007 10:12 AM
Fear of heights? Connected with danger? jgr01 Bipolar Disorder 10 04-14-2007 05:46 PM
Fear of accidents Therag Anxiety 3 03-04-2007 11:34 AM
Fear of dying rachel1226 Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 12 02-23-2007 08:59 PM
Schizofrenia...indeed. dfwgoodguy Schizophrenia 7 10-07-2006 07:00 PM
Fear Of Oral Sex guitaraddict4 Sexual Health - General 21 09-23-2005 09:06 AM
phobias...something ive noticed on this board hayley0610 Phobias 2 05-16-2004 12:00 PM
Number one enemy.....FEAR! Mission_Void Depression 34 02-24-2004 10:19 PM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:12 AM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!