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Old 08-06-2002, 06:32 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Australia
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SubtleAngel HB User


I don't know if anyone has experienced this or not. I would dearly love a little baby but I am so scared of the whole process, from morning sickness, to my body changing, to visiting the Doctor and having blood tests, to actually going to the hospital and giving birth. I am really scared. I have never liked all!!!!

My husband can hardly wait for us to have a baby. He is ready but I'm not. I'm 28 years old and scared I will never be ready.

Any advice?

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Old 08-06-2002, 06:46 PM   #2
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: ardmore,AL USA
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lildevil420 HB User
Re: Phobia

well i never thought i would want a kid and never be ready for one but now i'm like 7 weeks pregnant and so happy. I mean its not as bad as it seems really i mean its worth the whole thing. Because I mean just knowing ur gonna have ur own kid.I mean im turning 15 next month and i mean yea its scary to know that. But at least when u have a kid he wants it and ur kids gonna have a dad around. Its not like how mines gonna be.

Old 08-06-2002, 07:35 PM   #3
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 354
Greenberry HB User
Re: Phobia

I had my first child at 29, and didn't really relish the thought of being sickly and having to be in the hospital, but it is SOOOO worth it. If you really have decided that you don't want children, then that is by all means what you should do. However, you sounded somewhat unsure in your post. Here's my thoughts, for what they are worth: Having a baby is one of the most wonderful experiences in life--I don't mean actually "having" the baby, I mean being a parent. Pregnancy really isn't too terrible for most people (lots of women I know say that they felt wonderful being pregnant and really enjoyed it--I was not one of them), and it is temporary. Most of your doctor visits will consist of you giving a urine sample and having your blood pressure taken and talking to the doctor. There shouldn't be a whole lot of blood tests, etc. unless you have a high-risk pregnancy. However, your body WILL change, but you can take comfort in the fact that it happens to everyone (and there's always plastic surgery--hee-hee!). And the way I looked at giving birth was that it is ONE day out of your life, and then you get a couple of days rest in the hospital with people waiting on you, AND on top of that you have a baby to love!

I think most moms would agree that they would do it all over again because the rewards are so great (in fact, I AM doing it all over again, and I seemed to have a more miserable first pregnancy than most people that I know.) It sounds like you have a very supportive husband, and that is great! If you do decide to make the big leap, a loving and understanding husband can make a big difference!

Old 08-06-2002, 08:51 PM   #4
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 121
harvest46 HB User
Re: Phobia

I know it is all worth it. I am not scared of any pain of suffering I would have to go through. There is really nothing to be scared about. But yes of course it is an individual emotion sort of thing. but if you are scared of doctor visits and giving birth. I would not ! because I know it is going to be worth it!. don't worry. having a baby and being pregnant can be very fun and a miracle sometimes to me. so, you should have nothing to be scared about.

Old 08-06-2002, 09:07 PM   #5
Molly M
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Re: Phobia

You know, as I look back it always seemed like "how could a baby pass through there?" It seemed impossible. But you'll see that your body is really made for it. It does some incredible things to allow your baby to come into the world. And just so you know, some women never experience morning sickness or any of the symptoms you are afraid of. My first pregnancy was a joy. I really never thought about having children, I was an immature 29 year old. But then I found out and it has changed my life forever. I learned to take care of my body and my mind, and I was so happy. So was my husband. Now I'm going on number 2 and in a few short weeks (maybe sooner) I will be having a little boy. I will not kid you, though, the process of giving birth is painful. But everyone in the hospital was so nice and really it is such a joyous occasion. If you don't like hospitals have you considered a home birth? And you can get your body back after a while. It really is something you might want to read about - pregnancy. Having books explaining every little thing is very helpful. Pregnancy is an experience every woman should get to go through, even if it's less than perfect. It's such an amazing thing. Don't let your fear cloud your mind and hinder you from having that little baby. Really, get some books and talk to people. It's only 9 months and although it is uncomfortable for some women, the joy and anticipation far outwiegh the discomfort. I'm talking about most women. Of course there are some who have had miserable pregnancies, but it's rare. And a lot of it is in the frame of your mind. If you think positive about something, it will make it easier for you to get over your fear. Good luck to you, I hope you can find some peace of mind about it and have the baby you want.

Molly H.

Old 08-06-2002, 09:54 PM   #6
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Join Date: Jul 2002
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SubtleAngel HB User
Re: Phobia

Thank you so very much - all of you. Thank you for taking the time to reply and reassure me.

I am very lucky to have a supportive husband and I really really would love a baby. I watch new mums with their precious bundles and wish it was me. I just want to get all of the scary stuff over with. I think losing my Mum at 25 and seeing my sisters go through hospital after hospital as a result of a serious car accident has made me worried about the whole 'hospital and doctor' thing.

Reading all of your positive stories will help me through - I know it. Thank you again.

<IMG SRC="">

Old 08-07-2002, 12:22 AM   #7
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Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Tel Aviv, Israel
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shira202 HB User
Re: Phobia

we got pregnant after more than a year and a half of trying. we wanted a baby sooo much. each month was a real heartbreak for me. and then it worked!!! i'm now 12 weeks pregnant and very much happy. but i must confess that even me, one who suffered through fertility treatments, that was willing to do everything for a baby - i'm also a bit scared. will i be able to deliver? will i be able to do all the things i like after being a parent?
i think these worries are normal, and i dont believe that most women are "true born mothers". this is why pregnancy is long - so you can get used to the idea <IMG SRC="">

Old 08-07-2002, 07:19 AM   #8
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Austin, TX USA
Posts: 218
Jules211 HB User
Re: Phobia

Shira hit the nail on the head. I was so terrified when I found out I am pregnant... I was crying uncontrollably and just a complete wreck. I just didn't feel ready yet at age 21. During the early part of my pregnancy I was miserable- I felt depressed and unhappy about my condition and even thought about terminating a couple times. After some time, though, I started to get used being pregnant, and especially when I started showing a little I started to like, even LOVE the idea! And now that I feel the baby moving around and kicking, and am a few weeks from finding out the sex, I am so in love with my unborn child it hurts! Nearly every day I feel elated, on a natural high, and I couldn't be happier to be pregnant. I think when the time gets closer to delivery I'll get scared all over again, but like everyone says I know it will all be worth it. The point is- what you are feeling is very natural- but if you really do want a baby you'll adjust and possibly even enjoy your pregnancy (or at least make the best of it by learning to really take care of and pamper yourself!) <IMG SRC="">


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