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  • I swear I'm trying - alone

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    Old 06-29-2015, 01:29 PM   #1
    EllePayton's Avatar
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    EllePayton HB User
    I swear I'm trying - alone

    I am 27 years old, female. I spent 6 years in the military, but my PTSD started long before that. I was abused as a child, but I never actually realized it until I go older that it was abuse. Currently, my therapist and I like to refer to my situation as a PTSD sandwich. I'm sure that I my upbringing had a lot to do with my draw to abusive relationships, alcohol, and the military (where I was further abused). I was raped by someone I thought I loved when I was 18, then spent a year drinking and doing seriously dumb **** before joining up. I had hopes for a new family, since the military kind of preaches it, but within a few months I was sexually assaulted by a "brother." Not the last time that happened, but I don't really want to dwell on it at the moment.

    I am now physically disabled from my time in the military, and I'm having a hard time in general. I'm on a decent mix of medications, but I try to follow the "one in, one out" rule because the VA likes to use me as their drug ginuea pig. I swing between really good and really bad (if you have manic episodes, you know what I mean). I know I'm getting better, I do. However, it seems to be so freaking difficult to operate like a normal person. I guess I'm just looking for people to talk to.

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    Kass490 (07-20-2015)
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    Old 07-20-2015, 03:26 PM   #2
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    Re: I swear I'm trying - alone

    Being alone with this is the worst. People aren't very kind these days,. doesn't the VA have support groups for PTSD?

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