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  • My brother died in front of me



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    Old 07-06-2016, 10:51 AM   #1
    Mahmoud
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    My brother died in front of me

    I am 20 years old now
    but i can remember everything like it was today
    when i was 13 i wake up my father asked me to give me brother a cup of tea
    so i went to our car ( his favourite place ) but i didn't find him there then i started to hear my sister screaming
    so i went upstairs again and i found him lying on the ground with blood all over him
    he shot himself by accident is what the doctor said
    i was right in front of him while he was taking his last breath
    i couldn't do anything more than crying
    my sister called ambulance but they started a routine
    so i ran to the hospital crying and found a car and told them where we are living
    and when they came they did no thing more than saying he died
    i couldn't believe it how my brother was laying on the ground
    i can't go over it
    it affected my life alot
    i became isolated
    i became silly and not funny
    how can i even laugh with these memories in my head since i was 13
    they didn't send me to a doctor or anything
    i was kinda neglected
    every night i remember what happened i start to cry
    he was my brother and my friend
    he always backed me up
    i miss his advices
    i only have one picture with him
    i want to hug him but i can't
    he was the only brother i have
    and he left me
    i wish i die because i can't take it anymore
    i miss him alot

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    Old 07-06-2016, 12:29 PM   #2
    rosequartz
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    Re: My brother died in front of me

    I'm very sorry for your loss....that is very sad. Please try and remember the good memories you have of your brother. When you start thinking of the bad stuff, tell yourself STOP and replace that thought with a happy one of him. It takes practice, but you can do it.

     
    Old 07-07-2016, 10:08 AM   #3
    Mahmoud
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    Re: My brother died in front of me

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by rosequartz View Post
    I'm very sorry for your loss....that is very sad. Please try and remember the good memories you have of your brother. When you start thinking of the bad stuff, tell yourself STOP and replace that thought with a happy one of him. It takes practice, but you can do it.
    appreciate it
    but i really can't
    those good memories are just telling me how he was supporting me ,teaching me and wishing me the best

     
    Old 07-07-2016, 10:30 AM   #4
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    Re: My brother died in front of me

    that's exactly the good memories I'm talking about! He was supportive, teaching you and wanting the best for you.....those are memories to cherish. Along with wanting the best for you, I'm sure he wouldn't want you to be so sad and distraught. I'm sure he wants you to be happy and live your life as best as you can. I'm sorry again, grief takes time. Your feelings are completely normal and you will get thru it. There is no shortcut. You need to go thru it to emerge on the other side. It's like a tunnel filled with fog. You just have to keep going and trust that you will get thru it, even when it seems like you won't........keep the faith, you will.....

     
    Old 07-07-2016, 04:03 PM   #5
    Mahmoud
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    Re: My brother died in front of me

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by rosequartz View Post
    that's exactly the good memories I'm talking about! He was supportive, teaching you and wanting the best for you.....those are memories to cherish. Along with wanting the best for you, I'm sure he wouldn't want you to be so sad and distraught. I'm sure he wants you to be happy and live your life as best as you can. I'm sorry again, grief takes time. Your feelings are completely normal and you will get thru it. There is no shortcut. You need to go thru it to emerge on the other side. It's like a tunnel filled with fog. You just have to keep going and trust that you will get thru it, even when it seems like you won't........keep the faith, you will.....
    you are right
    he wouldn't love to see me keeping all this sadness inside me
    many thanks for your precious words i needed them alot

     
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    Old 07-07-2016, 05:30 PM   #6
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    Re: My brother died in front of me

    I thought of something else that may help. Why don't you write a letter to your brother telling him how you feel, what you appreciated about him, how much you miss him. That is very therapeutic and it can help you heal, just the act of writing it down does something to make you feel better. When my dad died I made a list of good memories. It helps

     
    Old 07-14-2016, 07:37 AM   #7
    renko
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    Re: My brother died in front of me

    Since you are now 20 years old maybe you could find a professional or a grief support group that you could share your feelings of lose with and you can get some emotional healing. I know losing anyone that close to you can be very damaging to your emotions and writing a letter to him is also a suggestion that might help you. Please find comfort in a good friend or counselor and try to move on and be healthy emotionally in your life. You have a lot to share and help others along in life.

     
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