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Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Message Board

Getting over past traumas?

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Old 02-22-2005, 07:46 PM   #1
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 17
jcmbn HB User
Getting over past traumas?

When I was a child I was abused and I used to be able to block these thoughts, but I can't control the bad memories anymore and think of them every day.

It all started when I was about 7 my mother began neglecting my little brother and I. She would go out to bars and with boyfriends and leave us home alone at night. When I was 10 I went to a new babysitter and her son (he was about 43 maybe) started molesting me. He would take me into the bathroom and pull my pants down, and he would take me other places too. One time I was in the playroom and he showed me a torn out pg from a porno mag and told me that he wanted to do those things to me.

Then finally after this had been going on for about a year, we moved to a new town, I thought I was finally free of it. Then one day my grandfather began molesting me. That didnt last for too long, maybe a year or so. The thing is I have never told anyone about any of this, and I'm 22 now so it's been a long time.

I have also done another thing that burdens me a great deal.... is when I was a teenager I did drugs and wasnt around when my grandmother died. I can hardly live with myself knowing that I wasnt there for her. I have always loved her and the guilt I have for doing that is un imaginable. I'm so sorry I did that to her, and that is probably what bothers me the most. If I could take that back I would in a heart beat. I think about that the most...

So I guess my question to you is, is there a way to get over the past traumas of our pasts? Or atleast deal with them more effectively?

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Old 02-23-2005, 08:33 AM   #2
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 110
Rani* HB User
Re: Getting over past traumas?

Hi there
I too was mollested and raped so I understand that pain. Im almost 48 yrs old now
and it's not the memories of the rape and mollesting that haunt me its the fact my
parents allowed the mollesting not only on my behalf but my siblings as well. Im
still working on how to deal with that hurt, my p-doc has suggested trying counseling
again to help the intense anger I feel.

About a year apart I had both my Grandmother and a beloved mother-inlaw pass
away. My mother inlaw was like a mother to me but I was not there for her when
she died of cancer due to a major family disruption of the mollesting of my daughter.
My Love for her never died. I believe she forgives me for not being there for her,
but I still needed to find a way for myself to express my Love for both my Grandmother and Mother-inlaw. So I made a memorial for both of them. For my
Grandmother I asked for some of her personal belonging and put up a shawl on my
wall with personal items & jewlery items attached then added pictures of her over
the years. Then I spray it with her perfume every so often, close my eyes and it's almost she's right next to me.

For my mother-inlaw I made a collage of pictures of her at different times in her life made amends with the family and gave a picture frame to each of her adult children. Family was her life and that was the best gift I could have given her was to make amends with the rest of the family.

The way I see it is Im sure your Grandmother forgave you long ago, but you need
to find a way to forgive yourself. Do something your Grandmother would be proud of
you for or do something that you know would make you Grandmother feeling special,
she may not be here in personal but her spirit lives on. Best wishes

Last edited by Rani*; 02-23-2005 at 08:35 AM.

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