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Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Message Board

Help, I've lots of fears and questions

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Old 06-14-2005, 10:07 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 28
kproy HB User
Help, I've lots of fears and questions

HI, I am kind of nervous, this is my first time doing this, but I am a little scared. I was just diagnosed was PTSD on Monday. The Doc think it stems from my childhood, no, I was not physically or sexually abused. But he believes it was exacerbated by a recent ilness. I had a major stroke 1 1/2 years ago and almost died. My baby wasn't even a year old yet. Since then, I have continued to have neurological problems that my DRs have just pretty much blown off and just given me more medications for. A few weeks ago I was hospitalized again for stroke like symptoms. I couldn't talk, couldn't walk without assistance, was having seizures several times daily. They sent me home after a week, still having the same symptoms, stating that I had conversion disorder. Here's where the problems began. They tripled my dose of topamax, quadrupled my dose of klonopin, and put me on Efeexor, and sent me on my merry way. I began having black outs, which I have never had before, which scared the poop out of me. One of which landed me in the ER because it knocked me unconscious. I just don't know who or what to believe anymore. I'm scared to see the Dr's, they all seem to think I am crazy. But I know that having black outs is not a normal thing.
My new neurologist is slowly weaning me off of all of the meds they put me on in the hospital. Unfortunately, he started with the antidepressant, and I am already feeling the effects of that one. I am signed up for some group therapies. But until then, I don't know what to do. I have 3 small children to take care of, yet I am so mentally incapacitated, I have a hard time dealing with them. The doctors won't let me drive, so I am stuck in the house. I can't really go for those nice long relaxing walks, since my balance is so off. Reading is difficult since I have hit my head so much in the past few weeks. I am sorry to belly ache, but it feels good to let loose. My husband does not understand why I feel the way I do. He just keeps telling me "I love you and things will get better." So now I'll shut up and try to go to bed. Kim

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Old 07-04-2005, 04:49 PM   #2
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,107
kerry1 HB User
Re: Help, I've lots of fears and questions

Sending you some pals to talk to. I think I have PTSD. I think it started from 9-11 and has since gotten worse. I've told myself I have "no right to be traumatized" since I didn't lose anyone in the attack, or overseas in the war. I just lost my joy for life, and my desire to have kids, ever. I'm seeing my shrink tomorrow and I'm going to ask her what she thinks. At least you have a husband who loves you and thinks things will get better. Maybe they will!!!

Old 07-09-2005, 03:57 PM   #3
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 643
wmkcolors HB Userwmkcolors HB User
Re: Help, I've lots of fears and questions

I think psychological and physiological areas, within your body, are intertwined. I was diagnosed with cancer, in my early 30s, and went into shock. I stopped thinking clearly. I'm very nervous. The radiation put me into menopause early and I lost the ability to have kids. The anxiety meter is high. Along with that, shortly after my treatment was over, my mom was diagnosed with cancer, in her 50s, and just passed away, after being in horrific pain for months. My stress went through the roof.... Since all this has happened, I've had to get as much rest as possible and do small things, to help me relax. You have been through alot. You are trying to take care of your kids, while you aren't feeling well. I stopped trusting my body and thinking cancer was going to pop up again. If I had a stroke, I'd be very nervous about every little twitch, in my body. It sounds like you have very prominent physical symptoms, as a result of the stroke. I'm not sure why your doctors and husband aren't taking it more seriously. I feel lots of empathy. Keep up with your appt.s with your doctor. Make sure you have a doctor, who you can really talk to and doesn't brush off your concerns.

Last edited by wmkcolors; 07-09-2005 at 04:00 PM.

Old 07-12-2005, 08:44 PM   #4
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2
Deltagrl71 HB User
Help I am on a never ending rollercoaster ride PTSD severel

Hi, i am suffering from severe PTSD and have been this way for about 2 yrs. My boyfriend of 12yrs was in a terrible auto accident that put him in a coma for 2 weeks and in the hospital for 2months. I slept in 2 chairs and never left his side. I washed up in the waiting room bathroom and helped take care of him. I promised him I wouldn't leave his side until he woke up. We have 2 beautiful children and I have a daughter from a previous relationship that I didn't see for the entire time. Anyway, I fell really depressed about 5 months after he got of of rehab and I tried to get through things on my own. Him and I split up about 2 months after he got home because he blamed me for the accident when I wasn't even in the truck with him. I tried to end my life and I stopped eating and lost 30lbs in about 2 1/2 weeks. I called the crisis center several times and then finally about 4 months later I went to the emergency room. From there on I have been under the the supervision of doctors and placed on several different antidepressants. I am so scared and not sure what to do. In March 17th i underwent a severe surgery that made me have 6 screws, 2 discs removed and 2 bridges placed in my lower back L4, L5 and S1. I feel like giving up right about now and am so scared. I just want to crawl in a huge hole and never come out. I feel like nothing can help me. I have gained soooo much weight and don't go anywhere anymore. I have no social life and my children are suffering. How does anyone get through something like this. I can say this I really envy Tom Cruise for his beliefs and his tremendous heart. How does he do it? Well, that's my story. I feel like I'm the only one going through something like this. There are many many more things that have happened in my life and I really don't feel like being here anymore. What to do. Dawn

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