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I hope someone can help me with this....

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Old 01-09-2008, 09:40 PM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 1
rremm84 HB User
Question I hope someone can help me with this....

First off I apologize because I do not understand a whole lot about PTSD but I am hoping that someone can help me. I have a friend who went to Iraq and when he returned he seemed unchanged by the events which he encountered there. Lately (now almost four years later) he ran into some people and got to talking about their lives over there. Since this day he has been experiencing life like nightmares and is always very angry and troubled. The result has been that he has been drinking more and more almost as if to forget but it only makes him remember more. The problem with this all is that he has told me that he needs help and that he is scared but he refuses to talk to a psychiatrist because he says that he is afraid to have people think he is not normal. He also does not think people that dont know him will not understand.I tried to assure him that this wouldnt happen and that people around him will support him but he insists that he will either talk to someone he knows or not talk at all. I know he needs help and has told me he wants to talk to me about it but i also know that i am no where near prepared (nor will I ever be) to hear and understand what he is going through. I guess I post this in hopes that someone can shed some light on this issue and help me to get my friend the help he needs. thanks

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Old 01-10-2008, 01:35 AM   #2
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 645
isitme HB Userisitme HB User
Re: I hope someone can help me with this....

Get you're friend right here, right now to see there are people who understand and can help.

I have prodded on in life for many years, probably 13+ because,

I DIDN'T want people to think I wasn't normal - bad move!

The shame/weakness/stigma I THOUGHT would be associated with it - no-one can recover from somethnig when they are in denial of having problems.

My story is not one many can reate to, so I also thought no-one would understand me - wrong again.

I didn't want to be labelled.

I could go on and on. Bottom line was I HAD to accept I had issues and so I threw the towel in when it simply became too much for me to supress. I stopped PRETENDING to eveyone that I was happy and normal.

Only now can I move on. In hindsight, I wish I had done something much, much sooner. I urge your friend to do so too. It's a lonely, painful life putting up a front. And the funny thing is, now that I have come clean to family and openly admit that I am mad..............they don't believe me. So although I have problems, they aren't as abnormal as I think they are, if that makes sense!
Welcome to you, and your friend.
Recovery IS possible, especially with knowledge of the condition, acceptance and perserverance.

Old 01-10-2008, 09:51 AM   #3
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 22
Waif123 HB User
Re: I hope someone can help me with this....

Isitme seems to really have covered many of the important points. I know I wish that someone had been there when I began having so many problems, that someone could have told me, that this was how PTSD felt, and that I was no different and that help really did exist, one of the most important things I heard was that PTSD can not make you "crazy".

And I feel the need to part on this peice of wisdom, normal is nothing but a setting on a washing machine.

Old 01-11-2008, 09:33 PM   #4
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 477
maybecrazy HB User
Re: I hope someone can help me with this....

Hi rremm84 and welcome,

Sounds like he has taken the first step and admitted he needs help - that was the hardest thing for me too and it seems to be the hardest thing for eveyone - we all don't want to admit we might not be as sane as we want to or think we should be - and I agree with Waif - Normal is just a setting on a washing machine!

There are people on this board who have had similar experiences, maybe you can get him to log on and join the community? it always helps to see that others are going through the same as you are and that you are not alone.... although it often feels like it!

Maybe he can talk to some of his old buddies and if any of them have had help they can suggest where he can go - in the meantime at least here he will find people who understand what he is going through.

I hope it works out,


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