It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Message Board

feel so hopeless...

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 07-28-2003, 10:15 PM   #1
bloodytears's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: California
Posts: 482
bloodytears HB Userbloodytears HB User
Unhappy feel so hopeless...

Ugh.. I am so confused right now.. I really don't know what to do.. I've been struggling so badly recently, and no one i know can relate or understand.

Because of the things that have happened to me in the past, I have trouble with relationships, when they begin to get intimate. Just this past weekend I went out on a double date with one of my only closest friends and when my date started putting his hands all over me, i had to leave the room. I had to get up and go to the bathroom, because i had the strongest feeling that i was going to be sick. It was the feeling like you could be sick, but you knew you weren't going to be sick. I felt so bad having to leave him, but i really did feel sick. This always happens to me whenever i become close with any guys, and it ruins the relationship completely. I've talked to my therapist about this, but she wasn't interested in talking about it in depth, and she just told me it will take time. However, i don't understand how this is happening to me now, when i was able to go off and have sex with guys when i was younger. (younger than i am now, but after the majority of my past trials took place.) I really don't get it.. Then, right after i left the guy, i was walking with my friend and her date and we decided to eat lunch, and when i went up to pay, her date followed me and said he thought i was hella fine, and he wanted to be with me rather than her. All I could do was smile, and walk away, i felt so uncomfortable, and bad for my friend. I did tell her when we left, however that wasn't for hours later. We ended up meeting up with another guy who was 29 y/o and wanted to hook up with me, which i have no problem with, because we really got along well, and we were casual, and friendly, not touchy, which was good, however, im scared that when it gets to the point where kissing and touching is appropriate, im going to freak out again, and leave him too.. I hate myself so much. It's like I have no hope for anything. All I really want in life is to have my children with a man i love, and whom loves me, and i can't even kiss guys anymore without getting sick. I really don't want to go on living knowing how much my life has been badly influenced by those people who hurt me when i was young.. I just dont know what to do anymore..

I'm only 19, and i shouldn't be dealing with all of this.. No one should...

thanks for reading this.. any advice would be greatly appreciated .. ~tears

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 07-29-2003, 06:29 AM   #2
christie s
Join Date: May 2002
Location: tx
Posts: 82
christie s HB User

I really have no advice or great words to give you, but I wanted to let you know that I do care about what happens to you. Can you get another therapist, maybe one that will really listen to you and your concerns? Also, you might look into finding a support group, talking to people who have had the same experiences might help. Take care and stay strong.

Old 07-30-2003, 08:12 PM   #3
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 476
HeyThere HB User

I just wanted to say thank you for being so brave and to confront the issues with a therapist and share with any mothers out there-I am so much more alert kind of overly though. You are young, resiliant and you are a survivor. Through your sharing of your pain you have helped shed light to mothers and other family members that may not have been alert. There are good people out there- you just have to sift for them while you are sifting yourself. Gold. Take care.

Old 07-30-2003, 10:29 PM   #4
bloodytears's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: California
Posts: 482
bloodytears HB Userbloodytears HB User

Thank you so much for responding to my post,christie, and HeyThere, it means so much to me..

I went to see my therapist today and I talked to her about it all, and she finally realized how badly i hurt and she decided to set me up with a group to help me deal with my past, and present feelings of all situations.. Thank you both for caring enough to respond.. That alone gives me more hope than i had.. You both helped me with your support..


Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Really need to feel I'm not alone olderthen48 Chronic Pain 16 04-20-2010 03:40 AM
Do you ever feel "normal" or "good"??? Oppida Thyroid Disorders 6 10-14-2009 11:55 PM
GUYS: Do You Tell a Girl You're A "Hopeless Romantic??"" CandP Relationship Health 5 12-23-2007 05:14 AM
Just feel like sharing... reachout Addiction & Recovery 3 11-04-2007 05:30 PM
I feel like my brain changes every 6 months or so........ stealthy23 Personality Disorder 2 10-15-2007 06:36 PM
Help... I Feel Hopeless! Dutchgirl Spinal Cord Disorders 7 07-10-2007 01:58 PM
Need Reassurance, feel hopeless pinkeetoz Anxiety 8 03-08-2006 11:58 AM
Hopeless romantic? what? Watch Teen Health 2 02-23-2006 06:00 AM
another BFN--starting to feel hopeless amyttc Infertility 10 09-09-2003 01:32 PM
everytime I feel better, I get hopeless thoughts which make me depressed again. Endle dcj Depression 3 01-30-2003 01:49 PM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:40 PM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!