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Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Message Board

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    Old 03-23-2011, 02:10 AM   #1
    Yeil's Avatar
    Join Date: Mar 2011
    Location: Siskiyou Cty, CA, USA
    Posts: 6
    Yeil HB User

    I am new here. Having a bit of the insomnia and anxiety that seem to want to do-si-do with my PTSD, and happened to stumble across this board.

    Since summer of last year I have been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety disorders, cognitive disorders, and Raynaud's Phenomenon which all interact with one another. Due to the cognitive disorders I don't problem-solve well, which I feel is at least part of what caused me to wind up with PTSD. When a trigger occurs I not only freak out, but my anxiety causes a Raynaud's attack (my extremities begin to feel cold and numb, even if it's 80 degrees).

    I have had multiple traumatic events that have caused my PTSD: my father is schizophrenic (diagnosed), both my parents had severe depression to the point of attempting suicide and losing themselves in the bottom of whatever cheap liquor was available, both have had anorexic tendencies due to poor self-esteem, both drug-addicted early on, and both mentally and emotionally unstable.

    From my earliest memories at age 4 my siblings and I were alternately forced to part with everything we owned due to Dad's paranoia and isolated from friends and family, even removed from school and locked in the house, OR abused and neglected by turns. In my adult life I made the wrong choice of person to love, and suffered similar results: isolation, neglect, and abuse of all forms.

    Now something as simple as a red Jeep driving past my work, or my dad dropping in to say hi can trigger a week of insomnia, apathy, hypervigilance, and a nagging feeling of panic. I do go to therapy. Unless my therapist says I have to take medication I am going to try to stick to natural remedies; I dislike drugs (even pharmaceuticals) because both of my parents have abused them for as long as I can remember. So I drink a lot of chamomile and lavender tea and have recently picked up yoga to help my muscles learn how to relax. Last time I went to the doctor it was for a screaming headache I'd had for three days. The pain was so bad I felt nauseous. The nurse said that it was a severe tension headache and the muscles in my right shoulder and neck were spasming they were so tightly wound. A little dog I acquired last year actually began alerting to the anxiety and Raynaud's attacks, and she will lay on my chest and coach my breathing during the worst of them. She is registered as a service dog but is most definitely still in training.

    I'm still reeling at the way PTSD affects my life, and how it can turn the simplest tasks into nearly impossible feats.
    "Happiness is a warm puppy." -Charles Schulz

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