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unknown2846 02-10-2008 11:28 PM

I believe i have PPD
Paranoid Personality Disorder.

My mom has a lot of problems, sometimes I think she is literally insane. I have always told myself I would never be like her.

The things she has said to me growing up, I sometimes think is what has triggered what is wrong with me.

I always think people are talking about me, and that they're staring at me, etc.

I get nervous even walking into a gas station to pay for my gas, or walk into a store by myself.

I don't like going places alone.

I'm unmotivated, I really don't care what happens.

I get mad over little things, and afterwards realise, that I was being stupid, but again it happens. I don't catch myself doing it until its already over with.

My friends have gotten tired of me. I find sarcasm is the only way I can be social, because I find that that is the only way people will like me, is if i'm funny.

I strive for attention, I can't help it either, it's hard.

I went to the phyciatrist.... and they believe i am bi-polar? i know i am not bi-polar, it made me mad, because I've been doing research on this for years, and I even explained to them, but they wouldn't listen.

Is there anyone else out there who have any similarities to my problems?

I'm curious, and would like any ones advice.

Thank you.

Pri Lily 02-11-2008 03:02 PM

Re: I believe i have PPD

Why are you so sure that you aren't bi-polar? From what you said, I don't think so either...

I also don't think that you're PPD.

Can you tell me about your research, and what you uncovered?

Your symptoms are a little vague...nothing "jumps out" this point.


unknown2846 02-11-2008 09:20 PM

Re: I believe i have PPD
I feel as if everyone is staring at me in a room, or when i walk into a room people are talking about me. I find my self not being able to trust anyone, i think my friends are against me, and i always take things the wrong way, well i've been told. i get mad about little things. Friendships are great for me until i become close with someone, then i drive them away somehow...they get tired of me. I recently lost my 3 best friends due to this. It's something I can't change or avoid. I try to. About a year ago, my ex best friend of 8 years, pulled up a web-site and had me look at it defining paranoid personality disorder, and i felt as if it described myself. I was with a guy for close to two years, and we broke up, I became depressed and a slight alcoholic, after i came out of the mess, I didn't know who I was, and i really couldn't remember who I was to begin with, I believe this is when it all started. I'm completey unsure. It's very hard to explain, I used to be able to put things into words, but within the past year and a half, I just really can't explain things anymore.

unknown2846 02-11-2008 09:23 PM

Re: I believe i have PPD
I think I have anger issues, But i don't believe I am bi-polar, a few of my friends are, and My mood doesn't seem to change all the time. But when i do get mad, i sometimes go to the extreme. I think it's just a bad temper. They prescribed me ablify.

Pri Lily 02-12-2008 10:44 AM

Re: I believe i have PPD

Are you taking the Ambilify? Is it helping?

Look up Borderline Personality Disorder as part of your research, and see what you think of that.....


unknown2846 02-12-2008 11:41 PM

Re: I believe i have PPD
i started to take it, but then it started to make me sick. so i stopped. it made me feel wierd. i haven't been back to talk to the doc. i'm also kind of scared to, because i haven't taken the medication like he asked... i looked up borderline, that sounds alot like me, i'm still unsure. do you know if it associates with... losing friends due to them being tired of the way you act? i've lost all of my friends within the past week, they said i need to change. but i don't know how. i want to change. i want to keep my friends.

Pri Lily 02-13-2008 10:50 AM

Re: I believe i have PPD
[quote].. i looked up borderline, that sounds alot like me, i'm still unsure. do you know if it associates with... losing friends due to them being tired of the way you act? i've lost all of my friends within the past week, they said i need to change. but i don't know how. i want to change. i want to keep my friends.[/QUOTE]

Yes it associates with losing friends because of the way you act.

You aren't PPD...

Can you put together a list using any borderline (or if you think they might be borderline) symptoms, and maybe we might be able to figure some stuff out.

You do need to go back to your Doctor, and report to him, so that he knows that you aren't taking the meds, and he may test you for other physical problems.

Why do your friends think you need to change? That's a good place to start.

Let me know


unknown2846 02-14-2008 10:23 PM

Re: I believe i have PPD
the frantic efforts to avoid abandonment... I freak out and think my friends are mad at me because of something like if they don't answer their phone to me... I think they're mad at me...

I feel as if people don't care enough and think only of themselves. Which in most cases that is always true.

Identity disturbance.
There are sudden and dramatic shifts in self-image, characterized by shifting goals, values and vocational aspirations. There may be suddent changes in opinions and plans about career, sexual identity, values and types of friends. These individuals may suddenly change from the role of a needy supplicant for help to a righteous avenger of past mistreatment. Although they usually have a self-image that is based on being bad or evil, individuals with borderline personality disorder may at times have feelings that they do not exist at all. Such experiences usually occur in situations in which the individual feels a lack of a meaningful relationship, nurturing and support. These individuals may show worse performance in unstructured work or school situations.

I keep on putting off my college education.

I'm unmotivated and can't become motivated.

My friends think i get mad about little things, they eventually got to the point where they couldn't deal with me anymore.... there was a girl that i was best friends with for 8 years and we stopped talking and i can't stand even the sight of her.. and they were there through it all with me... and helped me through it and now they turned on me and hang out with her and don't talk to me anymore. they said they need a "drama break" and i don't notice i do the things i do until after i do them. i've tried to avoid doing it at all, but i just do it. it's something i can not control. it's annoying because after it i feel dumb. this has been going on for years.

trg247 02-15-2008 09:05 AM

Re: I believe i have PPD
I think you need to go and see a doctor for a proper diagnosis. The way the DSM is written it is really not that hard to qualify for a particular criteria but there is much more to it then that. trying to figure out a diagnosis on your own is just going to increase your anxiety rate. Go see your doctor and tell them why you think you meet the standard then go from there. IF you are talking about Borderline it is not a disorder you want on your file as it brings nothing but trouble but a firm diagnosis at least gives you an idea on where to start.

take care

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