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HELP! This marriage may end this pregnancy!

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Old 04-23-2004, 09:51 PM   #1
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: California
Posts: 2
Mommy2B HB User
Unhappy HELP! This marriage may end this pregnancy!

I am now 4 months pregnant and my husband could not basically care less that we are having a child. Worse than that, we fight now all of the time and he goes and tells his buddies about our fights and how I "flip out" all the time. It really hurts because this is MY business. He just thinks I'm overreacting. My husband and I decided that we would only have one child. I am 34 and have waited to be a Mom my whole life, and was even scared that I may not be able to conceive due to my age. Now that I am, this has been the WORST experience of my life! I thought husbands were supposed to SHARE in the love for the baby in the womb. I have asked him COUNTLESS times to take more of an active interest, and he says okay, but still it keeps going back to this empty feeling of little to no support. He smokes in the house after PROMISING me that he won't (he blames it on us arguing) and I have pleaded with him to get counseling with me but he says "I don't need counseling........that's for the weak!" I'm at my wits end, with no love.....across the country from my friends and family with a baby inside of me. I don't know what to do anymore........I have so much hatred and resentment toward him. He just wants to stop talking and PRETEND like everything is okay. I hope that I live through this pregnancy...........this isn't AT ALL what I dreamed it would be LIKE!!!!!!!

Please help,

Last edited by Mommy2B; 04-23-2004 at 10:08 PM.

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Old 04-23-2004, 11:16 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Kailua,Hawaii, United States
Posts: 667
conniefolger HB User
Re: HELP! This marriage may end this pregnancy!

Hello! I am sorry to hear that you are having troubles with your husband, I will tell you though my husband was the same way with both of my pregnancies and it is very hurtful and they donot realize how they are hurting us. I have had my son now and he is 8 weeks old and my husband loves him more than anything, I belive that it is because your husband is not able to feel the baby, or he doesn't feel part of the pregnancy but he will change once your little one comes trust me. You hang in there and you will be ok
connie folger

Old 04-24-2004, 02:50 AM   #3
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 34
daisy6 HB User
Re: HELP! This marriage may end this pregnancy!

hi, i'm so sorry to hear of the awful time you're having, i was just wondering if prior to your pregnancy your husband was supportive and loving and if this is a new side of him you're seeing?

i had some problems with my partner during this pregnancy, i found that i was being so over emotional in trying to explain how i was feeling that i wasn't communicating very well and he just felt criticised.

i really found that it helped to write down my feelings in a letter to him, i tried my best not to criticise and praise the positive things he was doing but still let him know how i felt. we really found it worked in getting us back on track communicating, it turns out he was feeling as low as i was just neither of us could see past ourselves.

good luck
Daisy x

DD Meg DOB 26/10/97
EDD ??? 21/05/04

Old 04-24-2004, 09:08 AM   #4
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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brwneyez9 HB User
Re: HELP! This marriage may end this pregnancy!

I am sorry to hear about your husband. I would say that mine has been acting different too since we found out. Of couse it doesn't help that i am moody and emontial. I am almost 19w and i am feeling the baby move, but it is not strong enough for him yet. I thought it was i had him feel my belly and i would tell him when the baby moved and he said he couldn't feel it. I was talking to him about the baby moving the other day and he was like whatever. I really think he is feeling left out and wants to be able to feel the baby move and everything. Alot of times when i talk about the baby he really doesn't seem to care. That's upseting. I think your husband we come around. Don't worry. It may take the baby getting here first and him holding him/her.Maybe this is his way of dealing with that fact that there is really not much to do. I don't know. I am sorry and i hope things work out for you.

Old 04-24-2004, 10:14 PM   #5
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 283
lil'momma HB User
Re: HELP! This marriage may end this pregnancy!

I'm sorry to hear things aren't going well for you. If he won't go to counseling than you should go . You need to talk to someone and let it all out, building up all the stress is not good for that precious little life inside of you. If he hasn't already get him to go with you to your next doctor's appointment, maybe reality would set in if he could see and hear the hearbeat or see the ultrasound. Hope everything works out for your family, let us know how things go.

Old 04-24-2004, 10:52 PM   #6
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 381
Angela4 HB User
Re: HELP! This marriage may end this pregnancy!

That's terrible. If he doesn't stop acting that way after the baby is born, I think it would be a good thing for the baby to move back home with your family. Your baby doesn't need to see a father who is so unsupportive! Good luck, I hope it all works out for the best.

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