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Questions About Choosing The Baby's Name!!

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Old 09-27-2004, 02:49 AM   #1
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BrutusBranyon HB User
Questions About Choosing The Baby's Name!!

Hey All,

When deciding a possible name of your baby, should the decision be mutual between you & your partner? Personally I think so, what do you all say?

And what if your partner has a name in mind that you think is just terrible, and of all the names bantered about, you just couldn't name your child that. What do you do? What do you say especially when they make it seem like they have their heart set on it?

Has anyone here been in a situation where you flat out dislike a name that your partner really wants to name the baby? Again, what do you do?

We originally came up of a list of boys & girls names we both liked, and narrowed it down to 2 on each side, but she keeps going back to a name that we didn't agree on that we both liked, only she likes.

Lastly, what if your partner says the middle name needs in their mind to follow a certain trend/pattern that's in their family?

We originally said if we didn't agree on a middle name, we'd take one of the runner up's on our first name's list & use that. But that doesn't seem to be the case anymore.

Our baby isn't due til late March, anything can change & happen, but I guess since alot of this stuff is being talked about now due to the excitement of it all, it has lead me to the above questions. Plus I am a soon to be first time father here.

Maybe things like choosing a name or like in a previous topic I started about finding out the sex of the baby in advance or waiting to be surprised after the birth sound trivial, but I still think they are important issues to be mutually decided upon. Hope nobody thinks it's silly that I have concerns about this stuff. But I think we father's should have as much say in the whole pregnancy process & of course post-pregnancy as you mother's. I don't think we father's should have the final say on anything as I don't think the mother's should have the final say either. I think it takes 2 people willingly to get involved in a relationship, takes those same 2 people willingly to have sex in order to create the baby, and it should take those same 2 people to decide everything to do with the baby together. My 2 cents!

Thanks as always to those who respond,

Brutus Branyon

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Old 09-27-2004, 03:14 AM   #2
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dh22 HB User
Re: Questions About Choosing The Baby's Name!!

i can understand on the middle name thing. my husbands family... the men have the same middle name... my family my sister and i have the same middle name and the boys have the same middle name. it is a family history and so my husband and i already know that no matter what the middle name is already chosen.. the first name we agree upon... however you need to listen to your partner on why this name is good to them. there may be other reasons you haven't considered. and names will grow on you...
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Old 09-27-2004, 04:02 AM   #3
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Kiera1595 HB User
Re: Questions About Choosing The Baby's Name!!

I think that names are sooooooooo important! I have known people where the man chooses the boys names and the woman picks the girls names...but I think that both people should have involvement in picking the name...and agree on what that name will be. A lot of people seem to have traditions with the middle name. I'm quite flexible when it comes to choosing the middle name as you don't hear it very often. But I would stick to your guns about names that you do not's not as if the name is going to go away after a few weeks or's here to stay. But like you said, you have until March to figure it out. My hubby and I are going through the name game (for the 2nd time around) I feel like I keep coming up with wonderful names and he shoots everyone have to keep your sense of humor about the whole thing, at some point one of you will shoot out a name and you both will go "YES" Good luck dad!!

Old 09-27-2004, 09:34 PM   #4
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kristi_p HB User
Re: Questions About Choosing The Baby's Name!!

I think it should be a mutual decision between the mom and dad. If you don't like a name he has picked you should go through more until you both like one.

And middle names , well my hubby and I really never had deep discussions about that. All of my kids middle names are named after a relative, I came up with them and he was fine with them.

Good luck!!

Old 09-28-2004, 06:41 AM   #5
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Blastoff9600 HB UserBlastoff9600 HB User
Re: Questions About Choosing The Baby's Name!!

Well my Dh was wonderful with our first child. I told him before we were even married that when I had a son his first name would follow my family tradition. We dont have a middle name tradition but a first name tradition. He was fine with the that idea even though he had names picked out that he wanted. The names he had didnt go with my family name so he tossed them and we went throw ideas for a middle name. He came up with a wonderful middle name and we actually use it instead of the first name because as of right now there are 6 guys in our family with the same first name. And since we didnt know which we were having for our first we had several girl names picked out. We didnt have a hard time with that.
Though the second pregnancy up until we found out we had a hard time because he just couldnt agree on either sexed names. He actually brought up a name I hated and he said he had liked it for a long time. I told him I didnt like the name and I just couldnt see calling our child by that name. I told him to hang on to the name and if we couldnt find something we both liked by the time the baby was born we would see if the name felt right then. Well I came across some names on a site and started tossing them out. Well Dh didnt like any of them and told me so with ever idea. I found a combo I loved but Dh didnt or so he told me at that time. Well the day we found out we were having another boy I was sad(yes I was sad because I had my heart set on a girl) he looked at me and says there is our little Devon Cheyne. I was shocked because that was the name combo he hadnt liked. I asked him later why he had said that and he said when he had seen our second son that for some reason seeing him in the u/s that name popped into his head and it felt right.

You have quite a while to settle on a doesnt have to happen right now. Andyounever know a name you dont like now when the baby is born could feel right. I know with both my boys once they were born we knew their names fit them. Sounds strange but that is how it went for us.
Married 3/25/95
DS 13 yr
DS 8 yr (3+ yrs ttc)
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