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BEcca1978 01-10-2005 05:37 PM

Re: just wondering what you think..
I think a couple can start trying as soon as they feel comfortable. I think each couple is different. A good age, I think is early 20's. I was 16 when I first found ou I was pregnant. I was 17 before I got married, then gave birth a couple months later. Well, you can see that it went fairly well when you look at my signanture lol!

chelle4 01-10-2005 07:03 PM

Re: just wondering what you think..
i was 19 when i got preg with my first dd, and then i was 21 when i got preg with my twin boys. now i am 25 and preg with baby #4. it was very young, but i knew that i wanted to be SAHM, i was married, and knew that my dh could support us. Age itself i think is very relative. it has a lot more to do with maturity and motivation.

hunnybun1504 01-10-2005 08:10 PM

Re: just wondering what you think..
no...there will definitely be no 'accidental' pregnancys...that wouldnt be very fair to anyone of us now would it? i so up and down...i wish for a baby so much...but at the same time, i dont think id have a problem waiting either..but i swear, if im going to be this baby crazed for the entire duration from now until im 24, ill crack before i ever make it there! i know it seems like im in such a rush to grow up, but i kind of am a little bit i guess...i have a steady secure financially right now...if i saved, i could definitely make it work...but at the same time, even though im POSITIVE im ready...i dont want to force this on my boyfriend, especially because hes voiced that if i were to get pregnant now, he doesnt know if he'd want me to keep it. we both know that we want to have kids together...but apparently he is dead set on the time not being right now. i hope i dont have to end up waiting another 6 years...:-/ that would be torture for me :-( but i know that i love him...and i will respect whatever he wants, even though it kind of hurts :-/ anywyas...other good news...i went to my gynecologist. my second time ever in the office mind you...and i talked to her about birth control. she prescribed some and i have it covered under my moms insurance so that was lucky..sooooo......all im waitin for is AF on the 16th or be quite honest im nervous, now that i finally motivated myself to go and get the i going to be too late?...guess well find out in a week or so...just waiting it out until then..

hunnybun1504 01-10-2005 08:11 PM

Re: just wondering what you think..
jus tanother thing im wondering, since i got so many responses about getting pregnant at such 'young ages' according to most people, how exactly did you go about telling the father, your parents, other family and friends?...and how did they handle it..thanks

cattieos 01-10-2005 08:44 PM

Re: just wondering what you think..
i am married so i just woke my husband up and said, "i think you want to see this" and handed him the test. then we went and told our families, but since we were older and married and all it was a happy thing. When one of my cousins got pregnant in high school, she told the father right away and he was estatic, and he told his parents just flat out and they were understanding, but she hid it from her family until she started showing and they were not happy. Maybe because she hid it maybe not. My other cousin got pregnant at 19, and she told her mom and grandma flat out, just walked up and said, I'm pregnant. They werent' happy! She told the father, I'm not exactly sure how, but he didn't want her to keep it, but they worked it out and got married. She waited a really logn time to tell her father though, but he was happy, eventually.

Frynd1 01-10-2005 09:18 PM

Re: just wondering what you think..
It's normal for a woman of your age to want to have a baby, or be in a rush to grow up. It's something that you cannot go back on though. If you're boyfriend isn't ready, then take my word for it, this isn't a good time. My sister got pregnant when she was 23 years old and her husband was not ready. He told her he wanted her to get an abortion. She didn't though and now, needless to say, her daughter is 3 weeks old and he still isn't ready. He even packed his bags up on Christmas day because he "felt tied down with a baby." My advice, of course, would be for you to wait, only because I am only 2 years older then you and I can relate to you. I believe you'd be glad you waited, if you chose to. Let me tell you something though, I got pregnant on birth control, as did my sister, and as did other women on this board. Be careful!

As far as how I told my parents, I did it over the phone. I go to college 3 hours away though and had an excuse not to do it face-to-face. I did wait 2 days before doing it though. They werent happy, as most parents of an unmarried teenager are not. It doesn't mean they don't love you though. In most cases, they just wanted better things for you. It took my parents 5 months to realize that this baby was comming whether they were happy or not. For the first part of my pregnancy though, it was hell. My parents called my baby a consequence, told me not to tell anyone, ect. In my opinion, it would be naive to think they will jump for joy

hunnybun1504 01-11-2005 08:30 PM

Re: just wondering what you think..
another question, do you know exaclty you got pregnant on birth control? i mean, isnt it 99% effective if ued correctly..i havent hardly heard of anyone getting pregnant when they were on the pill unless they missed a few..

cattieos 01-11-2005 08:43 PM

Re: just wondering what you think..
I was on the pill when I got pregnant too! But I had been takign steroids, medically prescribed, not like for recreational purposes or anythign! and they can mess with your system. Also, I had been extremely sick in May and June and July and hadn't had a period since May, so I was all messed up! But alot of medications can interfere with your pills workign correctly, antibiotics, steroids, most illegal drugs, even lots ot OTC drugs can. Also some vitamin supplemetns, extreme weight loss or gain, and illnesses, there are lots of factors!

chrystina505 01-11-2005 09:50 PM

Re: just wondering what you think..
I think a safer method is the shot as opposed to the pill. The pill just means the likelyhood of forgetting. You asked whether your periods would be normal. It'll probably take up to six months to get your periods regulated while on the pill. (It did for me anyways) and then after that they should be like clockwork. I think the most common reason why women on the pill get pg, like cattieos said, is due to other meds, especially antibiotics.
It was soo very hard to tell my parents the first time around. (of course I was only 16) I told my mom first. I made her tell my dad because I was too afraid. Then we went together to tell the babys daddy and parents. I could tell that my family was pretty disappointed at first, but quickly got over it and became very very supportive.
Hunny: You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and I am sure you will make a great mom one day. Just remember that your only young once. I missed out on soo many things by having a baby so young. I didn't get to hang out with friends, or party, or even go to my highschool prom. Please enjoy being young while it lasts!

hunnybun1504 01-11-2005 10:10 PM

Re: just wondering what you think..
i hope your right. i know you only get to be young once and i should enjoy it while i can..just the thought of waiting sends me right into tears...6 years is a long time..seems even longer to me cuz it feells like forever..obviously, not necessarily by choice im waitng for right now. i just wish i wasnt always thinking about it. im trying to make the best of being young now, but idk its hard to explain. obviously, if i didnt want to, i wouldnt be living on my own and paying bills and rent and everything like that if i didnt WANT to. i WANT to be independant..and start the rest of my just so anxious for it. but the last thing i need is an accusation from my boyfriend that i got pregnant on the pill it is for just going to have to watch some of the things you guys said, like antibiotics and those others.. im sorry how every time i get a response it triggers a new question lol, but when you were on the pill how did you know you were pregnant? did you think it was evena possibility at first? obviously you must have kept taking the pill becuause you didnt know you were pregnant, the pill had no effect on what was going on inside you it didnt hurt the baby?..thanks so much for all your help you guys, its helping me a lot..

andrea03 01-12-2005 08:59 AM

Re: just wondering what you think..
I got pregnant while on the pill and taking it correctly. In my case, I was on it too long and my body began to form an immunity against it, thus not working. The baby does not get any thing from the mom until 10 weeks when the placenta is formed. I could be wrong about that, but I believe that is how it works. I wasn't feeling right, like I had the flu 2 weeks before I found out I was pregnant. I have never gotten the flu. Then I was 5 days late and decided to test.

jaybird75 01-12-2005 11:32 AM

Re: just wondering what you think..
Thought I'd put my 2 cents in....hunny, I personally think that a typical 18-yeal old is not ready to be a parent, mostly because I think 18 is hardly an adult! I'm 29 now and 4 months along with my first...I'll be 30 when I finally become a mommy, and I feel 100% ready for it now. My husband is 27 and was somewhat ambivilent about having kids so "early", but he's excited now that it's actually happening. I just think that at 18, there's still so much of the world out there for you to see & you should try to experience as much as you can so you can pass those experiences on to your children. Do you have plans to go to college? If not, have you ever travelled? I think you should take this time while you're young to do as much as you can - see as many places as you can, meet new people, experience other cultures and activities - that way when you do have children of your own, you'll have a wealth of information to share with them. All that said, there are obviously plenty of cases where younger parents have raised their children quite successfully...but I still think that's still the exception, not the rule. Have you really thought about why you want a child so much right now? Perhaps you're trying to fill a perceived void in your life? If that's the case, there are so many ways you can contribute to society without yet committing yourself to raising a child - especially if your boyfriend knows he's not yet ready...volunteering is a great way to meet new people and do new activites, all while making a positive difference in the lives of others. Or why not volunteer or work part-time at a day care, so you can see what it's like to be around children throughout the day? Where I live, there are various programs for new mothers who need assistance, as well as teenage moms...maybe you should see if your town has those kinds of programs & get involved - especially if they have something for teenage moms - so you can really see what it's like to be a mom at your age. I don't mean at all to imply that you personally aren't ready for the responsibility - you very well may be - but I'm just telling you how I feel about it in general. Anyway, that's my 2 cents. I wish you well & good luck in whatever you decide!

Frynd1 01-12-2005 01:04 PM

Re: just wondering what you think..
[QUOTE=hunnybun1504]another question, do you know exaclty you got pregnant on birth control? i mean, isnt it 99% effective if ued correctly..i havent hardly heard of anyone getting pregnant when they were on the pill unless they missed a few..[/QUOTE]

No, I wasn't forgetting to take my pill. I took one every night when I got home from work. I'm not overweight either, which can cause the pill to be less effective. My sister was taking hers everyday too, weighing less then I do, and got pregnant also. I believe the statistics for women who get pg on birth control are rising. The last number I heard was 1 out of every 20 women.

LYNN9731 01-12-2005 03:41 PM

Re: just wondering what you think..
[COLOR=DarkRed][removed] [/COLOR] What about college, a career, financial stability. If I had a baby right out of high school I would have missed going away to college, a 15 year career, buying a beautilful home, ski vacations, cruises, trips abroad. These are all things I had to work for and that make me the person I am today. I feel I have much to offer my baby now. He's going to have a very secure life and he will enjoy all the benefits we have attained through hard work and saving money. Another important thing to think about is what if the marriage doesn't work (over 50% don't). How would you take care of yourself and your child. Child support is rarely enough. I thought my first marriage would last forever but then again I married very young. I thank God there were know children from that marriage. [COLOR=DarkRed][removed][/COLOR]
This is just my opinion. I don't mean to upset anyone.


cattieos 01-12-2005 09:39 PM

Re: just wondering what you think..
I took a pregnancy test, most likely about three or four days after I got pregnant because my hair was fallign out, and pregnancy can make that happen. It was negative, it was way too early! Well, I quit takign my BC pills cause they can also cause hair loss. Well I hadnt' felt good but I have some health problems and rarely feel well. I hadn't had a period since April or May so I hadnt' missed one, but for some reason, I just decided to take a test. Well, I took it, not expecting it to say yes at all. And there it said yes. So, I shook alot and was really nervous. And then I made DH go get more so I could take another. and it said yes also. All this was over a month after I had taken the first one.

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