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Old 01-10-2005, 10:47 AM   #1
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 116
sharp3951 HB User

My husband and I are thinking about trying again for our third baby in around 4 to 5 months. My first son was healthy and my second son died shortly after birth from no kidneys. He died Oct 6th of last year. We really want another child but we are so scared something else will happen or even the samething will happen again. They told me it was just a fluke. Should we try again or should we just be happy with our first son and leave it at that? We really do want another child but its so scary. I don't know how we would deal with loosing another child.

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Old 01-10-2005, 10:52 AM   #2
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Lake Carmel, NY USA
Posts: 339
Aunt-Bon HB User
Re: Scared

First I want to say how sorry I am about your loss. Did they not see it on U/S? I would think that if you did get PG again they would monitor the baby a little more considering what you went through already. Unless it was genetic the likely hood of that happening again would be very low. I sort of know how you feel, when I had M/C I was afraid to get PG again incase it would happen again.

Good luck with what ever decision you make.
She's here
Niamh Maire Rose
8/11/04 via C-Section
10lbs 6 oz, 20 1/2 inches

Old 01-10-2005, 11:01 AM   #3
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: WI, USA
Posts: 467
packerfan4ever HB User
Re: Scared

Hello Sharp. I too am sorry about your loss. And I agree with Aunt-Bon; they would monitor this pregnancy more closely due to what happened with your other baby. Regardless of what you decide, you might have some "what if's." right now you are thinking, "what if" we have a baby and the same thing happens? One of my best friends went through the same thing you did. Her and her DH went through the entire pregnancy, (their first) and when the baby was born he died shortly afterwards. She didn't know how they could move on, they almost got divorced, the whole saga. Now they have 3 children since the loss! Whatever you decide, make it the right decision for YOU!
Hasty horse who drinks too much water gets belly ache

Old 01-10-2005, 06:32 PM   #4
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Posts: 240
Mary0114 HB User
Re: Scared

first, I'd like to say I am very sorry. I miscarried my first child, then my son was born premature and died after 2 days in NICU (we took him off of life support). So, I was babyless again. The third time, I had a stich put in the cervix and had a healthy baby girl at 35 1/2 weeks. My suggestion to you would be this: It has only been a couple of months. Rest for a while, let your body heal as well as mind, and then think about it. I recommend you go and see a geneticist to ascertain if it is a genetic thing. If it isn't, and you feel the urge to try again, then do so. I understand your fears, but don't want you to regret later on that you didn't try again. It's a tough decision, but I would talk to another doctor and get some testing done. That way, if it isn't genetic, you'll know and your fears will be a little less overwhelming. My best to you and your family.

Old 01-21-2005, 11:22 AM   #5
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sharp3951 HB User
Re: Scared

Thanks to all of you.

I am so sorry that you lost your baby too. I went to a genetic councelor and she told me it was not genetic that it was just a fluke. It is still so scary to try again. I am so glad you went on to have a healthy baby.

God Bless You

Old 01-22-2005, 10:28 PM   #6
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Posts: 25
amandsu HB User
Re: Scared

I am so very sorry for your loss! I had a miscarriage my first pregnancy and the next ended with a beautiful healthy girl , who died of sids at 14 months. It was very scary to try again, but i have realized throughout the years, that these are the tests in life that we either let make us or break us! Its easy to make the right decision if everything is going perfect! Its the decisions we make when we are scared to death but know that we are doing the right thing that make us strong and fill our lives with love and appreciation. I now have three healthy children (ages 11,9,7) and realize that if i'd let fear stop me(which would have been really easy I wouldn't have any of them.hope all goes well

Old 01-26-2005, 12:38 AM   #7
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 74
tabbithy HB User
Re: Scared

my second baby (a boy) was born with hypoplastic right heart. half of his heart didn't form. he had surgery at 2 days old and again a 10 months old, he didn't make it through the 2nd. surgery.
we waited because we were afraid something would be wrong if we concieved again, but after talking to my doctor and being reassured they would monitor the preg. we had a healthy baby boy 2 years later, we are now on our 5th. child and I have been sent to specialist twice already to reassure me that she is normal, and thank God, she is..
they never could figure if it was genetic or enviromental, (it just happens sometimes they said.) but it is so rare for something like that to go wrong, and usually it is nothing that you did. But rest easy, the likely hood of it happening again is really, really slim.
but talk to your doctor, they can do an echo at 12-18 weeks to make sure.....

Old 01-26-2005, 06:54 AM   #8
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 116
sharp3951 HB User
Re: Scared

Thank you so much for your incouragement. I really do appreciate it. I am so sorry about your baby dieing. Thanks again for the post.

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