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dont want sex..

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Old 03-21-2005, 03:01 AM   #1
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Mount Holly,New Jersey
Posts: 57
tarrece HB User
Angry dont want sex..

idk what to do anymore, im 12 weeks now,and DO NOT want sex or any kind of affection,my boyfriend does not understand at all and gets all ****** off and stresses me out, i try and try to talk to him but he just assumes crap, i dont want to leave him or him to leave me,idk what to do anymore,ive been thinkin of excuses to tell him that I CANT do it, but,its not working, i seriously need help, he is stressing me out too much and i know its not good,but not bein with him would make it worse,grrrrrr then he wants me to do oral on him, i definatly dont want that...or him do it to me,idk what to doooo i told him no for a few days then gave in yesterday, the thing is,he was a virgin until he met me(supposevly),and it is my fault i guess for being with a younger guy,he is 19,im 21

Last edited by Teresax8305; 03-21-2005 at 03:14 AM.

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Old 03-21-2005, 05:01 AM   #2
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 149
LadyoftheLake HB User
Re: dont want sex..

My husband is eight years older than me and we had that same problem when I was pregnant. For a good solid three 1/2 months I was constantly sick 24/7, and believe me sex was the last thing on my mind. It really took a toll on us since he thought that I was blaming him for being pregnant and pushing him out, when really I was just really really sick and I was scared since I didn't adjust well to my body changing. Eventually everything worked out by the end, I got alot of energy back and my sexual drive and I must say the last few months of my pregnancy went very very well.
The best advice is to talk to your boyfriend about what is going on with your body and explain why you don't feel like having sex. If he still is stubborn, perhaps bring it up at your next doctor's appointment, more in the lines of an indirect question, like " It seems lately I have no sexual drive, is this normal?" I'm sure if your boyfriend hears the answer coming from a doctor he might understand. Good Luck

Old 03-21-2005, 05:09 AM   #3
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Posts: 172
hreiter HB User
Re: dont want sex..

I am currently in the same situation... I am 10 weeks pregnant and my husband and I haven't had sex for about 6 weeks now.. Some days I don't even want him to hug or touch me... I have talked to him about it (actually a few days ago)... and told him because I pretty much feel like crap all the time, it is the last thing on my mind at the moment... I have told him that hopefully I will feel better at some point but for now it is just not going to happen... He kind of understands, but respects my feelings. I do feel really bad, but I have had bad morning sickness, headaches, tiredness and very sore boobs... so I am not in any mood to be thinking about sex...

Old 03-21-2005, 06:12 AM   #4
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malizoom HB User
Re: dont want sex..

But the good news is...
It WILL pass. I was the exact same way. Everything about physical contact with my DH for really turned me off for about a month ( icouldn't even stand to smell his breath) but now (i'm 14 weeks) things have changed and we're gettin' it on again.

Old 03-21-2005, 07:14 AM   #5
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Location: New Jersey
Posts: 948
2fst HB User
Re: dont want sex..

I am almost 29 weeks and have had no sex drive at all the so far. My DH tries to understand but he still wants to cuddle and all that. I have no desire to be touched. I used to have a normal sex drive prior to being pg so this is a little hard on us. I try to put myself in the mood at least once a week. My thing is that I feel so miserable over the way I look and that is why I have no desire to have sex. But usually once we do have sex I find I actually enjoy it. When I had morning sickness then we had no sex at all. Now it is just my self image I can't get over.

Old 03-21-2005, 07:21 AM   #6
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Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 768
PrittyGreenEyez HB User
Re: dont want sex..

I agree with malizoom. I can remember during my first trimester I didn't want any kind of physcial contact with my fiance. When he'd try to rub my back i'd shy away and I certainly didn't feel like making love. I'm guessing the changes in my body didn't make me feel the "sexiest" and the fact that I was always nauseaus (sp?) didn't help the situation any. He said he understood, but I knew deep down inside it frustrated him. I tried showing him other ways of love and affection by kissing him out of the blue or letting him know how much I loved him when I wasn't in such a horrible mood (haha). Soon as the 2nd trimester hit...BAM...we were "back to normal" so you could say. NOW haha in the 3rd trimester sexual activity has been put to a stop by my doctor (my being high risk for pre-term labor). Now it seems as i'm the one who's frustrated! No matter how much I beg, my fiances answer is always "the Dr. said no and after the baby is born we'll have time for that." (i'll be 35 wks wed.) Boy have I gotten a taste of my own medicine...never thought i'd be on THIS end of the stick. You're still pretty early and it wouldn't surprise me that by your 4th or 5th month you were feeling better about everything. I know that my 2nd trimester was the most comfortable. Good luck and I hope you have a healthy 9 months!

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