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newbie here...need reassurance

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Old 05-11-2005, 08:52 AM   #1
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 2
beccarx HB User
Smile newbie here...need reassurance

Hi everyone, this is my first time posting. I have SO appreciated this site the past few weeks so I decided to join, even if I only have a few days of pregnancy left. Here's my story...

I am 24 years old and pregnant with my first child, due May 17, 2005! (WOW ONLY 6 MORE DAYS) DH and I have been married for five years and are thrilled with our upcoming arrival, a son, Ethan Maddox. However, like most first time mothers, I am TERRIFIED of labor. I have read everything I can get my hands on, watch "Baby Story" every day, and have really talked to my MD about my fears, but nothing seems to help. I feel like I mentally know what to expect, but am totally unprepared emotionally. I'm even waking up at night with anxiety attacks. My biggest fear is being in excruciating pain for hours, even though I plan on having an epidural ASAP.
I know I'm not the first to feel this way, so any encouragement would really be appreciated.

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Old 05-11-2005, 09:10 AM   #2
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 249
wyliemom HB User
Re: newbie here...need reassurance

I felt the same way you did when I was waiting for my first baby to make her arrival. It is completely normal. But try to think positive about it and dont get yourself so worked up. Thats not good for the baby or you. I wont lie my contractions did hurt, but as soon as I got my epi I was great, NO PAIN. And from what I hear in most cases you wont feel pain during your pushing or labor with the epi. I had to have a c-section due to a fever, so I can only tell you what I hear. I also watch the Birth Day on the health channel. Good luck and try to keep positive. Let us know how it goes and how the little one is.

Old 05-11-2005, 09:10 AM   #3
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Colorado,
Posts: 289
Im_Robyn HB User
Re: newbie here...need reassurance

Thats totally normal to be nervous about labor and worry about the pain. This is my third baby and I am a little nervous about labor too becuase I know what its like and how bad it hurts.
Since you plan on getting an epidural that will help so much with the contractions even though they arent that much fun to get. However you said that you plan on getting one asap, dont count on that the doctor will make you wait until you have progressed enough before you can get one since it slows down labor a little bit.
I got one with my first but not until I was in labor for 13 hours thats how long it took for me to progress enough.
Well good luck only 6 days left thats so cool, try not to worry too much even though its scary not knowing what to expect its exciting and you'll make it through it and have a wonderful little baby.

Old 05-11-2005, 09:12 AM   #4
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jaybird75 HB User
Re: newbie here...need reassurance


My advice to you would be to chill out as much as you can. I think the more expectations you try to create, the more stress you'll have. Just go into it with an open mind - don't think about all the what if-s and could be-s - and know that at the end of it all, you'll have your son!! You can't make yourself nuts about the future because it hasn't happened yet, so don't even think about horrible pain or anything like that - take each moment as it comes. You'll be fine and do great and at the end you'll be a proud MOMMY!

Old 05-11-2005, 09:39 AM   #5
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 768
PrittyGreenEyez HB User
Re: newbie here...need reassurance

I know exactly how you feel. I thought I was gonna die in the delivery room from the pain and hey...i'm still here almost 2 weeks later. Believe me, i came on here almost everyday asking about the pain of labor and begged the ladies to describe it to me as best as they could and as much as they tried they really couldn't. They all told me the same thing, which was that the pain was horrible yes, but it didn't last forever. I was so very worried because I didn't know how well I was going to be able to tolerate the pain and contemplated getting an epidural. I watched everything I could from A Baby story to Birth Day to Maternity ward. I'd see a lady screaming and think "oh my gosh how am I gonna get through this pain??" Then I'd see another women pushing with ease and i thought "okay maybe it's not so bad." The one thing that amazed me at the end was the crying these women did and all agreed that the pain was worth it. The most pain I'd ever felt was when I fractured and sprained my ankle playing softball...but even then, I still didn't know what to expect and because I didn't I would cry at night telling my fiance I was gonna do horribly. When I was sitting in Triage and my water suddenly broke I cried because I was terrified, i wanted to turn back time and just go home. However, when I was taken to my room I had one of the sweetest nurses I could have ever asked for and she did amazing to calm me and answer all my nagging questions and requests. She offered me pain relief, but by then I wasn't in too much pain. The contractions were tolerable and I tried to go as long as I could...when I got up to 5 cm I was so frustrated, I needed some relief and sure enough I got the epidural and it was wonderful. My fiance jokes with me and says he knew i was feeling good when I encouraged him to turn on the t.v. and watch the highlights on ESPN. I too thought I was gonna be in labor for 12 hours being this was my first child, but everything I expected...well turned out to be completely different. It's like I had worked up all this fear and now i think..."that's it??" What your expecting may not be what you experience. With my epidural my entire labor lasted only about 6-7 hours. I dialted so quickly and pushed for an hour. My labor probably would have lasted less but because I tested for Beta Strep they had to wait to start a 2nd bag of penicilan. So basically I was already dialted all the way and ready to push...but couldn't because the 2nd bag still needed to be started lol*

The pain is unlike anything other. But the reward at the end is even greater. Every single lady on this board told me that and I would *shrug* it off like nothing,~one ear and out the other. But now that my son is here and I look back I realize that the ladies were completely right. You're going to do great. How can you not? Whether you have him/her by c-section or vaginally, you've just carried a living, breathing, human being inside of you for 9 months...that in itself is incredible. Have a healthy and *enjoyable* delivery.
~*Children are not a guarentee, they're a blessing*~
*~My lil bambino~*
~*5.1.05-7lbs. 14oz*~

Last edited by redsoxcubbies; 05-11-2005 at 09:42 AM.

Old 05-11-2005, 09:59 AM   #6
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 736
andilyn HB User
Re: newbie here...need reassurance

I just wanted to start out by saying that the post from redsoxcubbies was such a nice post! And I totally agree with everything everyone else said. Yes, there is pain, and a whole lot of it. But, it's just the most amazing thing you could ever go through, that you just get through it and don't even give it a second thought once you are holding your baby. And like tons of people have said before, it couldn't be that bad since a lot of us do it 2,3,4 and more times after our first. I have a 2 year old, and I am 31.5 weeks along right now, getting ready to do it all over again. And a good point was made that you shouldn't try and worry too much about the things that you may think are going to happen, because more than likely, it's going to be totally different than what you expected. You will do just fine and then look back on it and be so proud of yourself for getting through it!

Old 05-11-2005, 08:15 PM   #7
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,463
cattieos HB User
Re: newbie here...need reassurance

I am not too worried about it, I have UC so I have been through some serious pain that lasted for five YEARS.
But look at it this way, it will last tops 72 hours, and it won't be teh whole time, and in the end you will have a wonderful, beautiful baby to show for it!
Liek they all said, try not to worry, that will make it worse
COngrats and good luck!

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