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Scared to death (long)

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Old 08-09-2006, 10:17 PM   #1
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Scared to death (long)

Hi, I've never posted on here before but I have some fears that maybe some can relate to. I am 19 weeks pregnant with my fourth child... yes fourth! When I was pregnant with my first son I developed pre-eclampsia that was kept under control so I had no real bad effects from it. Well, during my third pregnancy with my last son I developed pre-eclampsia that went undected by tests even though all of the symptoms were there. I went in to labor two weeks early (because the placenta had stopped nourishing my son which we didn't know until later) and as soon as I arrived at the hospital the troubles began. I was there about ten minutes in the triage room when all of a sudden I felt sick to my stomach and so I told a nurse and she put a cold rag on my head.. well it didn't do anything for me and i became very weak and very faint and the kicker is... NO ONE UNDERSTOOD WHAT WAS GOING ON! If anyone had looked at my charts they might have noticed the pre-eclamsia testing that had been done just a couple of days before hand. Anyhow, I started to die... literally.. my blood pressure dropped my pulse was faint.. they stuck and iv of some sort in to my arm and within minutes I sprang back to life.. but my son was doing terribly his heart had gone from 170 to 32 bpm. They started to prepare me for an emergency c-section but decided it would be quicker for me to deliver him the regular way. (by the way whatever happened at the hospital was covered up so I never got the whole story right because i was in and out)
My son was born about an hour after this incident. He weighed 5 pounds 6 oz which is really small for me because my other two boys were over 9 pounds. Well he seemed fine until the last couple of years when we started to realize he has some mental developing issue.
I am terrified to give birth again! After I had him i developed panic/anxiety disorder that has led to agoraphobia. Today i was at the clinic and they pricked my finger and i almost fainted (probably because i paniced even the the sight of my own blood has never bothered me before) i left there very frustrating thinking... how on earth am i going to do this?
I am wondering if they ever give women anything to calm them down during birth? I am sure that i am not the only one who is prone to panic. To me giving birth means a very serious possibility of death even though so far things are going just fine (besides the fact that i haven't gained enough weight yet) there is a high risk of me developing pre-eclampsia again even though this time I did things right before I was pregnant like lost weight and the like. With the two children I had the pre-eclampsia with i started out about 30-35 pounds over weight and i have heard that makes a difference... with my second son (the nice easy birth) i never had pre-eclampsia and i started my pregnancy at a normal weight.
I am just wondering if there is anyone out there who has these fears that I do? And if anyone has ever been given anything while in labor to help them calm down?

Thanks ahead of time to anyone who responds!

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Old 08-10-2006, 03:02 AM   #2
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Indiana USA
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bridget021182 HB User
Re: Scared to death (long)

I have heard and been told by my midwife and my doula that if you need something to help calm down they can give you something. You just need to ask. I am 36 weeks 5 days. I am very excited but since I started having contractions Monday I have been getting a little nervous. This is my first and I dont really know what to expect. I have seen my sister give birth twice and been to all the classes and stuff but still just now Im starting to get a little nervous. Ask your doc about if they can give you anything during labor to calm you down, I was told they would give me something if I needed it. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy. I hope all goes well.

Old 08-10-2006, 04:32 AM   #3
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Lozzy_04 HB User
Re: Scared to death (long)

I had nothing as serious as what you're describing, and I cant imagine how scary that would be.

With my last pregnancy, I went 2 weeks overdue before the doctor induced me. My son went into distress and had to be resuscitated and then spent over a week in a humidicrib. Im also about 10kg heavier this pregnancy than that one so Im getting a bit scared that things will go wrong with this one too.

I dont know about what you could do about the severe anxiety, but Im choosing to try to plan and maintain as much control as I can for this delivery.

I realise its contravertial, but could you consider a planned c-section? Or even a planned induction? Or at least request closer monitoring?

Try talking your fears through with your doctor and see if you can work out a plan that might give you some control. Sometimes you need to be ruthless and be pushy, you know your body better than anyone else, if you think something is wrong, point it out and if they dont listen seek another opinion.

Good luck

Old 08-10-2006, 04:44 AM   #4
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curiousforever HB User
Re: Scared to death (long)

I would discuss your fears with your doctor. I also had preeclampsia with my 3rd & 4th. pretty scary stuff.

Be sure to point out to the docs/nursing staff that you have preeclampsia. Don't assume they've seen your records.

Old 08-10-2006, 06:43 AM   #5
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xinerevelle HB User
Re: Scared to death (long)

I second the "tell the nurses your medical history" stuff... they don't always have time to read the charts, especially in an emergency. Or, the doctor has the chart and the nurse is the one actually doing stuff to you.

Also, many women have depression and other mental disorders during pregnancy and take medication to help with that. Talk to your doctor. He/she may refer you to a psychiatrist for a consult, but your OB will monitor your medication, too. Sometimes the oral pain medication they can give you during labor can also help relax you and calm you down.

Finally, you might want to consider some calming therapies of your own, like bringing lavendar scents and soothing music with you to the labor room.

Good luck!

Old 08-10-2006, 04:21 PM   #6
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Mvhrt HB User
Re: Scared to death (long)

The dr's office I go through does not believe in c-section unless it's impossible to avoid... they are all about natural birth. Since i have had 3 children the good old fashioned way... i'm sure they think i'm totally capable of doing it again. I'd rather have a c-section at this point and i know it's harder to heal afterward but for some reason the idea scares me less then possibly going through what i went through before.

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