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To tell? Or not to tell?

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Old 07-01-2008, 05:00 PM   #1
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To tell? Or not to tell?

Hi all,

I just found out I am pregnant (almost 5 weeks) and am wondering people's experiences with telling the world. Has anyone told too early and regretted it? Has anyone waited a long time and found it difficult and frustrating? Really what I'd like to know is when the appropriate time to tell is--after I see the baby's heartbeat at 8 weeks? Should I wait until 12 to be safe? (Torture!)

I'm so excited and dying to tell a few people but do not want to do so prematurely. Just wondering what other people think.


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Old 07-01-2008, 06:08 PM   #2
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Re: To tell? Or not to tell?

there is really know appropriate time its just when you feel comfortable. for medical reasons some people like to wait til they are 12 weeks because the risk of miscarriage decreases so much. me and my bf told right away but the decision is totally up to you.

Old 07-01-2008, 08:13 PM   #3
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Re: To tell? Or not to tell?

With my first pg we told our families at 6 wks b/c we had a great u/s. At 11 wks, I had a mc, however, we probably would have told our families by then anyways. With this pg, we waited until 9 wks, b/c we had 2 u/s and they were both great and all my medical problems were under control. I do not regret telling our families at 6wks, mainly b/c we had a perfect u/s. It is really up to you. Good luck with your decision
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Old 07-01-2008, 08:37 PM   #4
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Re: To tell? Or not to tell?

We told family and a few close friends after our first ultrasound confirmed that all was looking good, which was somewhere around 8-9 weeks. We waited until about 12 weeks to tell our bosses, coworkers and other acquaintances. Each person is different though - I had just had a couple of coworkers miscarry in the last year and dreaded the thought of having to go through what they did as far as having to "un-tell" people, and dealing with people who didn't get the message and later asked how the pregnancy was going, etc. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

Old 07-01-2008, 08:42 PM   #5
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Re: To tell? Or not to tell?

We told right away with all three pregnancies. I had a M/C at 14weeks and I am glad we told everyone because we needed all the support and help we could get during that time. But telling everyone is completely up to you and when you feel it's the right time.
me 30/DH3/
5/21/00........CODY MICHAEL
TTC 2nd 10/00
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Maybe TTC #3 if it's ment to be ok if not ok not stressing this time. :-)

Old 07-01-2008, 08:49 PM   #6
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Re: To tell? Or not to tell?

Hi Ladies---
I am not a member of this particular group ---Though I read some of your threads and wish you ALL the best with your pregnancies-----I think it's such a blessed time for all of you
But I just thought I would put this into the story---I have a friend from work---She had a m/c about 7 years ago---and she finally got pregnant around Christmas this past year----she did not tell us at work until she was almost 20 weeks----actually she didnt tell anyone she was pregnant until she had just found out the sex ( it's a boy)----and I cannot tell you how excited I was for her---b/c she and her husband had been trying to conceive for 8 (!)years----and this is their first child together-----she is 41. She is due mid August!

Anyway----I just thought that was a cool story-b/c though I had begun to suspect b/c she was gaining "belly weight" I was thrilled beyond belief when she finally confessed!!!

Bless you all in the coming months!!

Last edited by Tracie1204; 07-01-2008 at 09:04 PM.

Old 07-02-2008, 05:02 AM   #7
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Re: To tell? Or not to tell?

Hi there,

I agree with everyone that it's a personal decision to be discussed between you and your significant other. When I was pregnant with DD I was in so much shock and had such a fear of m/c I wanted to wait, but DH wanted to tell the world right away, so we waited until 8 weeks after I had been to the doc and the blood work came back. We told bosses/and his co-workers after Christmas which was about 14/15 weeks. My co-workers found out a bit earlier because of the morning sickness...but everybody has their own opinions, do what feels right to you. If it were up to my hubby we would have told the very first night I got a BFP...and even though I always thought I'd be that way (on the phone holding the pregnancy strip in my hand) it took me a little longer to process the idea than I expected. I was glad I told...everybody was thrilled for us

Old 07-02-2008, 06:59 AM   #8
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Re: To tell? Or not to tell?

I think people forget about the support that can be available as long as people are aware that you are pregnant. As tami said above - when she needed the support it was there because she had told.

On the other hand, some people like to have a 'little secret' for a bit.

I told straight away to my mum and dad and my work colleagues. I left everyone else a few more weeks but I just couldn't have kept quiet if I had been paid to do so! I was glad I told though because I felt really rough during those first few weeks and people were very understanding, which they may not have been otherwise.

Your decision - but it is great when you do get to tell people
Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree today.

Old 07-02-2008, 08:45 AM   #9
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Delia79 HB User
Re: To tell? Or not to tell?

I was like Youneak said, on the phone with the pregnancy test in hand!!! But I can't keep anything to myself. I tell people what presents I bought them before I even give them to them. I have to agree with a few of the others though, I always figured that if something did go wrong, I would want the support there. Again, it's everyone's choice to tell or not right away. Either way, when you do tell, it's so much fun!!!

Good luck!
~Ella Ann, July 2, 2007~
~Madilyn Mya, September 21, 2008~

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