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support person during labour

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Old 02-20-2003, 08:37 PM   #1
yellow rose
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 59
yellow rose HB User
support person during labour

I am due to have my baby in three weeks, and wouldn't you know it, my DH has to be in a different state for work (he is in the military), and so he won't be able to be present for the birth. My family are hassling me about who I am going to have present at the birth, since DH can't be there. It might just be me, but I don't think it is the place to have just anyone, and have decided to do it on my own, without a support person. Is there anyone else who is also going to, or who has gone through labour on their own? It is not exactly the most glamourous thing in the world, and would be really uncomfortable having anyone else there, other than my husband, who was present for our first born.

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Old 02-20-2003, 09:13 PM   #2
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Marlboro, NJ USA
Posts: 204
maglib HB User
Re: support person during labour

So sorry to hear that your dh can't be there.

I only wanted my dh for my births but, when it actually came time for my first son I really wanted my mom by my side and thankfully she was there.

You may want people to be at the hospital for you but not in the delivery room and then if you need someone you can then ask them to stay for you and the baby.

When you are actually going through labor, you really don't care who is in the room and just want someone there to help support you.

I wish you luck and happiness in the birth of your baby.

Old 02-20-2003, 10:41 PM   #3
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 326
chrislove HB User
Re: support person during labour

My fiance' had only her ex-husband in the room for the birth of their first and he was in quite a shock, but still helped. The second time she had him and her mom. Her and her mom grew so close from the experience and she even had a new respect for my fiance afterwards. It really helped her having two people who loved her and were assisting her instead of nurses she didn't even know. This time it will be me and her best friend. She is a little exbarrassed for both of us but knows she won't care once she's in labor cuz shes done it twice already and knows it goes away......modesty out da window :O) Hope you find just what is comfortable for you but the other poster had a great idea about having someone outside just in case. take care <IMG SRC="">

Old 02-21-2003, 06:24 AM   #4
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 354
Greenberry HB User
Re: support person during labour

I don't blame you for not wanting anyone in there with you. If my husband couldn't be there, I would probably go it alone too, especially since I already have one child and have been through it before. The LAST people I would want is my mother and/or sister. I will be under enough stress without my mother standing there saying stuff to me like "You're acting like a total jackass, now shut up and act like an adult," which is what would end up happening, I guarantee! And my sister, though I love her, would be totally useless. And my mother-in-law...ABSOLUTELY NOT! So that would seem to leave me in the hands of the nursing staff. As for your situation, do what you think is right and what you feel good about, and let your family get over it.

Old 02-21-2003, 07:00 AM   #5
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: palos heights, il, usa
Posts: 1,189
autumnleaves HB User
Re: support person during labour

Greenberry, you made me laugh! My mother would be the same way (I think)...but she'd probably say to quit being "ridiculous" (her favorite word) and to knock it off. LOL I agree with Greenberry, do it the way it is most comfortable for you. I wouldn't want anybody in there either but DH and I've already told him that if we are fortunate enough to get pregnant he is to stay up by my head! Good luck and I wish you a healthy baby and a speedy labor <IMG SRC="">

Old 02-21-2003, 07:06 AM   #6
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Upstate NY, USA
Posts: 85
Epiphany HB User
Re: support person during labour

You may want to look into having a Doula. Doula's are people (usually women) who "mother the mother". They are trained, but are not midwives or dr's. Their sole responsibility is to you and your comfort, well-being, and sanity during labor and birth. There are some wonderful statistics out there on Doulas reducing labor time, episiotomy rates, c-section rates, and all sorts of things. There is some great info if you put doula into a google search. and are great places for info as well.

Here is some info found on the doulanetwork website:
What is a doula?
A birth doula is a trained labor support person who provides emotional and physical support to a laboring woman and her partner. While she is not a medical professional, she can offer a wide range of comfort measures during labor - from massage to aromatherapy to continuous reassurance and coping techniques.

Women supported by a doula during labor have been shown to have:

50% reduction of cesarean rate
25% shorter labor
60% reduction in epidural requests
30% reduction in analgesia use
40% reduction in forceps delivery
<p>[This message has been edited by Epiphany (edited 02-21-2003).]

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