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Scared to Fly

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Old 07-12-2003, 10:21 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Ronkonkoma, ny, usa
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warrsav2savage HB User
Exclamation Scared to Fly

I have had a SERIOUS phobia of flying for about eight years now. I used to take medications or get REALLY drunk so I could get on a plane.

NOW I am 8 weeks pregnant, and my sister decided she was getting married in Italy - so I fly out on the 15th (this Monday). I am sooooooooooooo scared that I sit up all night, am sick to my stomach all the time over this, and have worried about it since I found out!!!! (I was actually planning on conceiving AFTER Italy, but fate took its course early).

Anyone know what I should do? Any ideas? I tried to get my doctor to tell my sister I'm "high-risk" so I can't fly, but I'm not, and dont want to jinx myself. . . besides the fact that its my SISTER'S WEDDING! (I'm matron of honor!!)

I havent flown in two years because of the fear, but when I HAD to I was heavily sedated. . . but now I cannot do that and NO AMOUNT of meditation or relaxation techniques help (I've seen soooo many "experts" to help me - therapists, hypnotists, relax-ologists, etc etc).

ps - I also suffer from panic disorder, so I am on Zoloft, but I cannot risk having a panic attack, doctor said it was too dangerous. WHAT CAN I DO?????

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Old 07-13-2003, 12:19 AM   #2
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Vancouver, BC Canada
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chrissy333 HB User

Hi, I don't know if I can really help you or not. I have an anxiety disorder as well. i have an extreme fear of flying. Luckily I haven't had to fly in a while. I do have a couple of people who I feel safe with. My brother and my bf. I have found that it really helps to fly with one of them. This may sound really silly but, If I was on the plane with my b/f I think "at least we'd be together if this goes down", because him and the baby are everything to me. Just try anyway you can imagine to think positively about it. Easier said than done I know. I like archie double digests and lots of them on a plane because they are long and you don't have to think much. You can also get Lavender oil in a little vial to sniff, it is very calming. I carry some around with me always. Or a Lavender pillow. I hope some of this helps. If you find that you really can't go through with it, talk to your sister, she will probably understand. Good luck, Christine
due with #1 Feb 3, 2004 It's a Boy!!!

Old 07-13-2003, 05:53 AM   #3
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Virginia, USA
Posts: 1,027
dingo_102 HB User

I know that it's your sisters wedding and you really don't want to miss it but maybe you should tell her everything you told you think she would understand? If you feel that strongly and are that scared of flying then I would say the best choice would be not to fly. Talk it over with your sister and tell her your concerns for the safety of you and your child.
Hope all works out well!!

Take Care,
9-19-03 expected b-day for J.T

Old 07-13-2003, 06:20 PM   #4
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tinkers HB User

Oh, I definitely understand. I am 28 and have never flown. It was 8 years I've been married in March. My husband and I plan to renew our vows in Las Vegas, Nevada and I just don't know. I am going to have to take some major sedatives. Hopefully I won't be pregnant again then. I would talk to your sister and tell her how you feel. It may be her wedding, but it's your health and your baby. What if you did get an attack, then what???? Let us know what you decide.

Tink (Lisa)
EDD 02-04-04

Old 07-13-2003, 09:01 PM   #5
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Texas
Posts: 699
JoJo1972 HB User

Warrsav2savage....I know how you feel. I always have to be pretty tipsey flying. I am terrified of it, but I have to living 1200 miles away from my family. When I was pregnant, I flew. What I did...I took a few cd's and my portable cd earphones. I listened to cd's, ate TONS of candy...starburst, sweet-tarts, sprees, etc. I read What to expect when you are expecting. Just think about being pregnant, naming the baby, having the baby and you should be a happy camper. Good luck and let us know how you do!

Old 07-13-2003, 10:09 PM   #6
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warrsav2savage HB User

Well, I have talked with my family NUMEROUS times, and they all say that they will never speak to me again if I am not there! (My family has the WORST guilt trips!) I am taking the advise about the candy and walkman. . . its something I used to do all the time when I had to fly!!

This is just a really sucky feeling and WORSE than the flying is being afraid for the baby, since I am only 8 weeks! EVERYONE tells me to get over it - everyone flies and being afraid wont hurt him/her. I just wish I could stick a bomb in my underware and get arrested so I dont have to go (but I'm not an idiot or a terrorist, please dont think that, just being sarcastic)!!! At least my mother went all out and is flying my DH and I first class, so at least it will be comfortable and stuff - and DH is so excited about his first trip ever in first class, that it helps me, I love when he's excited!!

I am also taking the advise and thinking, everything I have is on the plane with me. . baby, DH, MYSELF! So I do not think God would let us all die or anything. . . too much to live for. I just hope I can keep these positive thoughts on Tuesday as the plane is taking off!!! (After take-off I should be fine. . . maybe if I hold my breath I wont have a panic attack!!)

Thanks for your help! Feels good to vent!

Hey Tinkers - I say definately go to Vegas! Its so fabulous there and such a special occasion. But have you considered driving? I live in NY and my family lives in CA (Los Angeles) and I used to make the trip twice a year! My poor car, but it was a blast! Too bad there isnt a road to Italy! I considered a boat, but its too expensive Oh well ... but driving to Vegas is GREAT!

[This message has been edited by warrsav2savage (edited 07-14-2003).]

Old 07-14-2003, 06:38 AM   #7
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: IN
Posts: 153
sarah_december HB User

I know just how you feel, I HATE to fly. I get all panicky and feel sick days before hand. Both my DH and my parents live far away, so I usually have to fly at least once a year. My DH thinks I'm crazy (he has his private pilot's license, so flying doesn't bother him).
It's good that you are flying 1st class-- I've done that once and loved it so much I forgot I was in an airplane!!
I'm usually most nervous during takeoffs and landings, so it helps to occupy myself during those times. Playing cards w/ my DH or reading works sometimes.
Best of luck to you and have a GREAT time at your sister's wedding!!

Old 07-15-2003, 12:10 PM   #8
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: BC, Canada
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babygrant HB User

I know this is a little late considering this post has passed over to the 2nd page, but here's my late sort of advice.

Would it help if you boarded the plane a little early. When they do the pre-boarding call for anybody who may require assistance blah blah blah, would it help if you could board the plane a little bit early with those people and get yourself settled, meet the steward/ess' and pilots? Give yourself a couple of extra minutes to calm down before take off? Just an idea. Would it help also if you brought one of those eye pillow things that you cover your eyes with. Just recline the seat, put the headphones on, listen to music and relax?

Hope something helps you!

EDD with baby #1 for hubby and I September 21st, 2003! It's A BOY!

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