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Feeling unfit

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Old 07-03-2012, 06:52 PM   #1
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Washington State
Posts: 5
thedarkness HB User
Feeling unfit

I am BI Polar II and possibly have PMDD. On the 17th I found out i am pregnant. after meeting with my Psych we decided it best for baby to go off my meds. I am depressed and lost. Here is my story....
10 year drug addiction. Started recreational ended with heroin and meth. Over the last decade I have seen several different DRs and been prescribed many different medications, never once was a drug test administered???? I guess i assumed that once i got rid of the street drugs i wouldn't need the anti depressants. Wrong again, about 5 months into my recovery i decided to stop the meds, i relapsed and promptly went back on my medication. Roughly 5 months after that a new pattern started to form. It took nearly a year from my relapse to make any sense of what i was going through. Equipped with a proper diagnosis from a specialist and a new regime of medication and exercises I felt hope for the first time in months. Now I am terrified, I feel unfit to be a mother. I am so depressed. I am morning sick most of the day. I dont know if what i am feeling is the absence of my medication or the hormones either way i dont like how i feel. I need stability i need laughter, i need to be a good mother.

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Old 07-04-2012, 10:25 AM   #2
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Canada Alberta
Posts: 4
andreah34 HB User
Re: Feeling unfit

Hi. I know someone who is bipolar and she is a really good mom. Yes it is hard but she loves her little girl so much that she manages to get through the hard days. I know this must be very scary for you but you will get through it. Just look at how far you have come and what you have been through already. You are still here. There is a reason why you have been given this gift.... A baby. I have pms or possibly pmdd. I got it after an unsuccessful IVF cycle. My husband and I have tried for a baby for a while. Be strong. Once u have the baby u will be able to get on better meds as well. Do you have any support in your family? Parents, sisters ? It helps to have family around during times like this. I completely know how terrified you must be. Before my Ivf cycle I felt very ready to be a mom. After the fact I questioned everything. I was scared because I did not understand what was happening to me and how hormones could affect my mental state and physical sensations. I wonder now too if I would be a good mom or not. But I really do believe that you are meant to have this baby and give motherhood a try. In the end if you do find that it is just too difficult then you could alway let a loving couple adopt your baby. That is an option. For now try to be strong and seek support anywhere you can. I wish you all the best.

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