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  • So he took a trip without me, what should I do?

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    Old 06-06-2015, 05:09 PM   #1
    HD1983
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    So he took a trip without me, what should I do?

    My boyfriend of 11 months went on a weekend road trip with a male friend of his, I'm extremely hurt and upset that he didn't invite me, I never get to go anywhere really so I would have enjoyed a trip like this.

    He has some things going on his life, recently he lost his job, we never argue but I have hinted around at my displeasure through text messages.
    I even told him today that I wanted to sell my expensive cell phone to fund a vacation of my own, solo, and he told me that we could MAYBE go somewhere when he is back on his feet again. (big emphasis on the word MAYBE).

    I'm feeling very hurt and I have no idea how to deal with my feelings, or if my feelings are even reasonable, I have no other real friends because they are all busy with their children and boyfriends and husbands who actually enjoy taking them places.

     
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    Old 06-06-2015, 07:41 PM   #2
    Seraph
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    Re: So he took a trip without me, what should I do?

    Passive aggressive hints are never going to get anywhere. Tell him how you feel, and hold him to a promise of a trip for you both in the future. This trip is done, nothing will change that, so pick your battles and move on. To be honest, you sound a little bit whiney. He has lost his job, probably facing problems and worries about that so a bit of a diversion with a mate would be nice for him. It seems a bit mean-spirited to begrudge him a weekend. I can see him wanting to sort out his situation before thinking of a proper trip with you. Plan a weekend surprise date and go for it. You don't have to wait for him to organise something. Sera

     
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    Old 06-09-2015, 11:19 AM   #3
    pendulum
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    Re: So he took a trip without me, what should I do?

    But how could he have invited you if he was going with a male friend? Unless this male friend were also taking his girlfriend along with him. You would feel like a fish out of water with two males. Just think of it.

     
    Old 06-09-2015, 01:44 PM   #4
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    Re: So he took a trip without me, what should I do?

    I have to agree with the other two posters. It wouldnt have been right for him to invite you, unless it was a group thing or a couple thing. Men need male time- and if he went on a trip with his buddy, maybe there are parts of this you dont know about? Maybe the buddy offered to pay for some of it, knowing he just lost his job?
    Youre being selfish, wanting to hear what you want to hear. Youre asking him to promise you something- a trip- when you know that money is tight. If you are offering to sell a cell phone- it appears you dont have alot of liquid cash either. Are you working? Can you afford to pay for a trip for the two of you? That, would be an awesome girlfriend present to give him...and it would show him you care- not that you are jealous.
    Let the guy have his guy time. As long as he comes home to you and you have no reason to think he is with another girl- whining will push him away. Love him and support him and encourage him to get a job asap. Then, when he does- ask him if the two of you can save some money to take a trip together and make it fabulous!
    Couples need time apart...couples also need friends. Most importantly, couples need to trust each other. Do you trust him??
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