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  • I cheated once and I am devastated and will not do it ever agin

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    Old 06-11-2015, 04:12 AM   #1
    Anderson32
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    I cheated once and I am devastated and will not do it ever agin

    My relationship Started in January. 3 weeks into the relationship I kissed a guy that I had only met on the night out, we didn't have sex or spend the night together however we did do just slightly more than kiss. That was now 4 months ago. I never spoke to the guy again I have not had any contact with him after that event. It has been the only thing I have ever really regretted in my life and I have felt devastated about it. Itís something that I never thought I would do and I have no excuses for it. I love my boyfriend and would hate to hurt him. I know it was a one time thing, I could never do it again. I cry almost everyday and have been seeing a therapist about it. I know that it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been out that night drinking as much as I did. It plays in my mind all the time. I have a great time with my boyfriend and would hate to ruin everything for him because of something that meant nothing and will never happen again. This is my first proper relationship so this is one of the reasons why I am so frustrated with myself that I have done this. I took the decision not to tell as I know it will never happen again and I want to move on as no good would come from telling if it was just one time and was a while ago. I would just like some advice on how to move forward please.

     
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    Old 06-11-2015, 07:19 AM   #2
    Bob652
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    Sorry to hear about your issue. It sounds like you are not going to get over this until you tell your boyfriend. I would suggest sitting him down and saying that when you first started dating, you drank too much and did something you really regret-you kissed another guy (or whatever you did) and you haven't been able to forgive yourself about it.

    In the best case scenario, he will see how much this action hurt you, that you learned a valuable lesson, you will not do it again, and how much he means to you. Worst case, he leaves you. However I think this is going to haunt you until you tell him.

    I hope he forgives you.

     
    Old 06-11-2015, 07:48 AM   #3
    lenvegas
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    Re: I cheated once and I am devastated and will not do it ever agin

    Hi, I think it is a good idea not to tell your boyfriend about what happened as it will give him potential ammunition to use against you at a future date. Besides that if it upsets him than you will be twice as upset as you were before. Alcohol can make people do things they later regret so instead of looking at this as a bad thing, see it as a life lesson on what can happen if alcohol is involved. People must forgive others in order to move forward and that applies to forgiving yourself and say a little prayer to God, he always forgives. Wishing you the best...

     
    Old 06-11-2015, 10:14 AM   #4
    solofelix
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    Re: I cheated once and I am devastated and will not do it ever agin

    Hi,

    I don't think you should be so hard on yourself, at sometime in our lives most of us have made a mistake and regretted it.
    In your case I am going to agree with Lenvegas and say "Don't Tell".
    You sound genuinely sorry and I see nothing to be gained by telling your B.F. and upsetting a good relationship.
    You have learned a hard lesson and put this in the past where it belongs and focus on the loving relationship you have with your boyfriend,

    Solofelix.

     
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