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  • I'm completely shattered.

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    Old 11-16-2015, 05:52 PM   #1
    Ifeeldead
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    I'm completely shattered.

    I met this man on a dating site in 2011. The minute I pulled up, got out of my vehicle and looked at him, I fell in love. I've never been in love before this man. The first year of dating, weather it was dinner, a movie, just sitting around, whatever we did I had to hear about his ex-wife every time. He even showed me pictures of his ex's new husband, and asked me if I would leave him for his ex's new husband. It killed me each and every date, but I was in love with him, so I stayed and listened. Going into the 2nd year he asked me to leave my house and move closer to him so we could see each other more often. 4 days after he drove the uhaul for me to my new place he dumped me and moved in with another woman. I moved back to my old city once my lease was up, but he was coming and seeing me the whole time he lived with this other woman. He told me he was stuck in a lease with this woman and if I loved him then I would wait and be patient. So again I wait another year, while all along he was seeing me, and telling me that him and this lady were not together that they just needed to get through the lease. He then went to his parents telling them that this live in girlfriend of his was cheating on him and many other things. So his parents bought a house, and let him pay the mortgage because he didn't have the credit. So 6 months go by and finally I move in with him. Just to find out that our electric bill at the house was in this ex's name. I moved out. I got myself an apartment, and he begged me to give him another chance, and because I loved him so much I did. Then just like 3 weeks ago I find out that again he has kept secrets from me and lied to me. I found out that he had a loan out in his name for a 2002 GMC Envoy, that this same ex has been driving, while iny boyfriends name, and I think he was making the payments, while all along I was still paying for my own apartment and our house that I thought we were working on. When I confronted him he finally admitted to it and said he lied because he was afraid that I would leave him again, as I did when I found out about the electric bill. So again I took all my stuff and went back to my apartment. He then admitted that the week we were apart that he was stalking me at my apartment. So finally I sent a text to him and attached his parents to the text telling them to please not hate me and told them what he did. They were dumb founded. Now my ex is texting me saying that I'm the cold hearted one, and that I destroyed him as a man. Also going to the extent and telling me that I am dead to him now. I'm completely heart broken. I feel like I'm dead inside, and I don't know what to do day to day. It's even hard to get up and go to work everyday. Was I wrong for letting his parents know the truth?? Thank you

     
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    Old 11-16-2015, 08:20 PM   #2
    Kszan
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    Re: I'm completely shattered.

    I think where you went wrong here was continuing to go back to him over and over again despite all of the actual proof that you saw with your own eyes that he was still carrying on with this other woman the whole time. I know you are in love with the guy and when we're in love we tend to turn a blind eye to red flags. But now after everything that has happened, I think it's pretty clear that this guy is a total jerk and totally incapable of being in a healthy relationship with anyone.

    It's ok to take a minute to be sad but after that you need to get angry and realize that he was acting totally shady the entire time you were with him. And therefore you need to take a stand and make the decision to be totally done with him and don't take him back again. Stop talking to him anymore. Block his number and his email and stop letting him contact you anymore. Send him a clear message that you're done with being his doormat and you're choosing to have more respect for yourself than to put up with this again.

     
    Old 11-17-2015, 03:56 AM   #3
    Seraph
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    Re: I'm completely shattered.

    Do not waste one more minute of your life on this person. Everything Kszan says is true. People like this are very good at drawing you in, but they do not do love, that is never present. there is nothing for you here but more deceit and misery. Do as Kszan says and cut off ALL contact. Read up on relationships with narcissists, I believe you will tick a lot of the boxes. You are well rid of him, and remember that, if he comes around you again, it is not because he loves or wants you, he has his own agenda. Sera

    Last edited by Seraph; 11-17-2015 at 03:57 AM.

     
    Old 11-17-2015, 04:49 AM   #4
    MSNik
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    Re: I'm completely shattered.

    I have to agree with the other two posters.

    Go back and read the post you wrote. You have known all along that this person is a liar and a cheater. As the old saying goes "Leopards dont change their spots". Not only is he doing it to you, but he is / was doing it to the other woman as well WITH you.

    Were you wrong to tell his parents? Who cares? Its not your problem. Big boys dont need their parents approval, credit or help. He is not a big boy. He is a child, acting like a child and treating you terribly. Good riddance.

    I also agree. Cut off all ties. Move forward. Look at this as a big mistake which you wont repeat again and learn from it. When a man truly loves you you dont have to wonder about it. You might think you were in love with him, but you werent. You might have been in love with the idea of him...but he wasnt real. The next guy you fall in love with will be everything this one wasnt.

    By now you have had a few days to process this. Get up this morning and do something for yourself which has nothing to do with a man. The right one will come along when you are healed and the time is right!

    MSNik
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    Old 11-17-2015, 09:02 AM   #5
    Ifeeldead
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    Re: I'm completely shattered.

    Thanks to all of you for taking the time to read my story and more importantly thanks to all of you for your honesty. I will make it past this. It just hurts really bad. I think the thing that hurts me the most is that I do believe now that he was a fake. Thanks again to all of you.

     
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