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vane0109 12-28-2015 07:51 AM

Bf cheated on me with transexuals
 
I wanted to share my story, a very painful one at that. I have been with my ex for 2 years and he shared with me many intimate things. I tried to be very understanding and I even tried accept it because I do love him. However , through out our relationship I lost alot of trust because I found many weird things. I would snoop in his phone and find massive amount of TS porn and most shocking I would find him make calls to transexual escorts. ( I googled each number and it would direct me to the page)This would always bring fights between us because he would say he would stop but I would always catch him doing it. It became an addiction to me as well to keep snooping and I know this is not the type of behavior I want to keep doing because its not healthy. I gave him many chances and he would still keep doing it. He always swore that he never met up with one and I tried to beleive that it was part of his sexual fantasy that he would call and that was that)

Our sexual life was lacking and I started to feel insecure as a woman. Our sex was Amazing before but things were not the same anymore. He also started to have a drug problem and I didnt want to be around that anymore. I started to distance myself and I started staying at my mothers house more often for that reason. He started spending his money on drugs and he would say he would stop but the problem kept getting worst. Each week he would get paid and his whole check would be gone within the weekend or monday at most.Last month he then started to act more strange with me (we were not broken up at the time yet). He would not answer any of my calls and I didnt hear from him the whole week. The day i finally do get to see him he tells me how I abandoned him and how I didnt care to see if hes ok and that he needed help bc hes been doing worst with his drug habbits , trying to make me feel guilty but he dodged me for the whole week. I tried calling him but he really made me feel like he didnt want anything with me.

Anyway, that night I decided to snoop on his phone Again and I see a massive amount of messages. It appeared that he had a dating app on his phone and I came across several messages from several transexuals that he met up with during that week that I didnt stay with him. He met up with like 4 and one came to the house. The messages were very sexual. One said she wanted him to perform oral on her (she was a pre ops trans) I confronted him and he lashed out on me to stop looking and its my fault. He swears he didnt have sex but they iniiated other sexual activities. I am very hurt with all this. I feel like hes confused and has been selfish to drag me. Why would he say he loves me but try to have a double life? why the lies after lie? He says he thinks its from his porn addiction for years but I dont know, all I know is that he has HUGE problem and I am not at fault for. I decided to move out but I havent blocked him completley because I feel like its hard to do. He still contacts me every other day because he says he misses me and wants to work it out but I dont know if we can ever make it work again because theres so much damage done. I dont understand why would he have done everything he did if he cared for me.

Part of me knows I need to let go but my heart still feels for him. I know he has many problems and im scared for him ( his drug problem, his confusion on why he keeps pursuing these type of women and his bipolar disorder which he gets no help for) I know I need to worry about myself but im scared for him.

I know he has put me in so much risk and I need to get checked because I dont know what the truth is :( I dont know if he really slept with any of them. plz help

rosequartz 12-28-2015 08:01 AM

re: Bf cheated on me
 
glad you moved out, now stay out.....don't let him sweet talk you back.....
you know he is a liar and a cheat and no good for you.....
make a dr apt and go get tested for anything and everything and don't look back....he doesn't deserve you

Seraph 12-28-2015 10:00 AM

re: Bf cheated on me
 
Any life with this man in it would be a continual nightmare. The fact that he blames you for looking at his phone and not trusting him tells me that he has not, and may never take any responsibility for his dishonesty. Let him have them - he has shown that he wants that stuff more than he wants you. Count your escape as a lucky one before you are completely wrecked. Good luck, Sera

52ken 12-28-2015 02:36 PM

Re: Bf cheated on me
 
You fell in love with a person he truly never was so try not to be sad.

vane0109 12-28-2015 02:50 PM

Re: Bf cheated on me
 
[QUOTE=52ken;5397163]You fell in love with a person he truly never was so try not to be sad.[/QUOTE]

thank you I am trying not to be in limbo anymore but its hard. thank you

vane0109 12-28-2015 03:07 PM

Re: Bf cheated on me
 
[QUOTE=rosequartz;5397127]glad you moved out, now stay out.....don't let him sweet talk you back.....
you know he is a liar and a cheat and no good for you.....
make a dr apt and go get tested for anything and everything and don't look back....he doesn't deserve you[/QUOTE]


thank you Im trying my best to move forward and im going to the doctor tomorrow. He does want me to try to work things out but no matter what I cnt damage is done. i can be a friend but I cant be the girlfriend I once was.

52ken 12-28-2015 06:28 PM

Re: Bf cheated on me
 
Just my thought but being a friend to him may not be right for you at this time. You need time w/o him in it so you could heal.He will wiggle his way back into your bed and that would not be good. You are an adult so it is your choice but be careful.

Kszan 12-28-2015 06:32 PM

Re: Bf cheated on me
 
He's no friend. He's not capable of being a boyfriend and not capable of being a friend, so you are better off tossing him out of your life for good.

52ken 12-29-2015 06:27 PM

Re: Bf cheated on me
 
I agree but I was trying to be nice. :)

laughliveluv 01-20-2016 11:47 AM

Re: Bf cheated on me
 
You need time to heal. I was in a similiar relationship with someone that I discovered was bisexual. You need time away from him. I went to therapy because I needed to work on me and understand, I did nothing wrong and learned how to empower myself and got a better understanding of addiction. Please do this for yourself. All the lies and dishonesty are his shame of his addiction. Not your fault. But you have to go through the grieving process, please do go to therapy for YOU.


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