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  • Girlfriend Problems

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    Old 04-05-2016, 08:22 AM   #1
    eb17
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    Girlfriend Problems

    So my girlfriend breaks up with me after telling how she feels that she is unhappy with our relationship. I wasn't speaking her love language. She felt that she didn't feel the same as she did 8 months ago when we started dating. We had dated two times before. Twice in High school and this time we are both in college as juniors. As you may assume, we are both very busy. She is graduating early, and I am 2 hours away at another college.

    She said that she wanted to figure out what makes her happy, and do soul searching and be alone for once, since she had basically been in a relationship all her adult life. She wanted to find out what made her happy and not have to rely on a relationship to achieve that. She needed to learn how to think about herself, and learn to put her needs first sometimes. I understood that, I couldn't argue with that. I wished I could protest, but I said (the abridged version), I understand, that is really important to figure out. It hurt that part of the reason she was breaking up was somehting out of my control. We broke up.

    I accepted it, but I wanted closure. So I asked her if I could talk with her, at least give a kiss goodbye since this break up wasn't terrible, and I wanted one last something to hold onto. She said "yes, please". I went to her college during the week to try and get closure and show her how I cared. After talking for a long time, all she wanted was for me to express myself, and my emotions. Show her that I cared. It was something that I didn't need her to do, so that was why it was hard for me to understand at first. But she needed me to do it. It was such an easy fix, in my opinion, for someone that I loved very very much. And she loved me very very much.

    I slept with her that night and left the next day, feeling closure, and telling her that I was happy that I understood. I told her I respected her initial decision and that I stood by that 100%. And if she thinks that we could make it work and figure herself out then I would love to be a part of that. But I do not want to get in the way of her personal development.

    We end up deciding to stay together days later, and she visits me a week later for essentially the "prom" of my college. That night she breaks down and tells me she slept with her ex after two days of breaking up. She had mentioned she saw him at a party the weekend before and they had the first good talk after her break up with him. Keep in mind she saw him Saturday, broke up with me Monday, slept with him wednesday, and then slept with me thursday, then told me the saturday after next.

    She said she was confused, and he manipulated her during her period of feeling lost. I have my own opinion, but I want to try and make it work but it is just something that I would never do.

     
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    Old 04-06-2016, 10:46 AM   #2
    lenvegas
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    Re: Girlfriend Problems

    Hi, once a girlfriend starts messing around with an ex boyfriend then it is time to drop her. Don't fall into the trap of being in competition with another guy. it's not worth it. I was in a similar situation and let the girl go and moved on to someone else who was not "confused" about me...

     
    Old 04-07-2016, 10:21 AM   #3
    blue712
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    Re: Girlfriend Problems

    This is where the confusion she mentioned ealier is becoming evident. She had a good plan to be on her own to figure herself out, but it appears she is too scared to go through with this plan. Sumilar actions are likely to continue until she really has spent that time by herself and done her soul searching.I have been confused before too, and I really regret a lot of my actions, I certainly wasn't good girlfriend material at the time. I feel bad for what some of my ex's endured. I never cheated, but I may as well have. It may be good for you to let her go for now. Good luck, I hope everything works out.

     
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