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  • I think I met a Pathological Narcissit over the summer.

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    Old 10-29-2016, 04:03 AM   #1
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    NightimeAuras HB User
    Angry I think I met a Pathological Narcissit over the summer.

    (I should firstly mention before explaining my experience with this individual that I suffer from PMDD. It's pretty much PMS on steroids and occurs two weeks before my menstrual cycle starts. Additionally I become very gullible, mentally delayed, suffer from poor judgement, become easily confused, extremely emotional, easily angered, vulnerable, I can't think straight at all, etc. I basically met this individual at the wrong place and at the wrong time. Two weeks before my PMDD started I met him and he seemed relatively normal, but of course it was just a facade, a facade that many people put up when first meeting others, a social mask. My PMDD started when I began chatting with him on messenger and that's when things went south very fast. What I learned is that I pretty much need to avoid men entirely when I know my PMDD is going to start soon because I'm more vulnerable to crazies basically in my everyday life.)

    The string of unfortunate events occurred in mid July of this year. I had met him on a site for those who had social phobias. It started with a simple superficial compliment on my end. I initially wasn't expecting to or wanted to have a conversation of any nature with him and moved on with a quickness because I wasn't trying to pick up any men. Offline I was too focused on building my life and my studies. But by doing that, I was unexpectedly setting out a bear trap. He responded with thanks and proceeded to shower me with compliments regarding my artistic abilities that I showcased publicly. We connected through a mutual interest in Film, he expressed that acting was his passion but didn't delve much into it. Additionally he also played the guitar. He seemed articulate, well spoken and was around the same age as me (we're both in our mid twenties). Eventually we added each other on messenger and it seemed that things became progressively weirder and weirder with each conversation. It all started with the supposed "jokes.". On my first night of chatting with him, I recall sharing a joke that I found on social media. The conversation instantly became excessively random. A back and forth game that led nowhere. It seemed like a game. He turned it into a mind game and then questioned what I said at the end of the conversation, which he had eventually twisted. Later he joked about his father "walking out on him and his family" and he seemed amused by it. He once "joked" about "I have to switch identities a lot because people like to open up credit cards in my name, buy cars and jewelry.". and "I have to change my phone number frequently." Once he subtly flirted (he knew that I was physically attracted to him) after we had a brief discussion about the humid weather : "Oh I'm just sitting in my underwear in front of the AC." then he spoke of "pole dancing in his underwear at a strip club in "Auschwitz" (the concentration camp). He named himself after a very very famous actor, he insisted that it was his actual name, but I just couldn't believe it (he had an interest in acting and supposed did improv and the actor he named himself after did many comedy films, coincidence ? I don't think so.) If I ever questioned his supposed "jokes" he would abruptly leave the conversation to make "pancakes." and he seemed increasingly uncomfortable if I asked any personal questions regarding his personal life.

    All of the seemingly normal question I would ask such as "How was your day ?" or "What's going on ?" would receive a relatively normal response from him, he would seemed interested in my day for a minute, but momentarily the conversation would revolve around him and what he "supposedly" did that day. Additionally, I think he would fish for sympathy by interjecting issues he had with family members during his childhood (I once talked about visiting an art museum, he told me he hasn't visited an art museum since he was a child but when went on to talk of having many of his family members dislike him as a child and that he rarely left the house basically). Example : I would ask him :"How was your day ?" he would respond "I went to the beach but couldn't get a tan.". I would ask "Why didn't you bring sunscreen ?" he would respond "Oh, I forgot, I got burned.Lol." Then he would ramble about loosing his phone in the ocean, losing his kids in the ocean, them drowning and dying, and some other bizarre things that happened to him, supposedly. And he would talk of currently sharing a small cheap apartment in the poor area of the suburbs with his mom and brother. Though when I first asked him where he lived, he just said "I live in the suburbs and my other family members are well off financially" (and I have no idea if any of it was true) All of the conversations were excessively random and of a shallow nature. It was impossible to discuss something that had substance for a long period of time. (I would try to talk about recent films and favorite directors but it would soon become very random.)

    Then there was the phone thing. I recall joking with him about my cat, he had said "I want her to call me at <fake number>." I talked about leaving a funny voicemail and he said he wouldn't mind. The next morning I decided to prank him but found that the number belonged to a local pizza place near him. I brought it up the next time I chatted with him and he seemed shocked that I called it. Then he said he was only "joking". Then he said "Oh, I feel obligated to give you my real number." (I, stupidly) wrote it down. It seemed like every time I brought up called him afterwards he had an excuse. "Oh my brother is in the room, I can't pick the phone up" or "I have to get ready, you have to give me time". He finally gave me a time frame to call him. Before I discontinued communicating on messenger, I asked him "Do you have any anxiety about talking on the phone ?" He said "No." The next day I called around mid afternoon and he didn't answer. Something told me I would look even more stupid to leave a voicemail, so I refrained and hung up. Minutes later while on break, I logged into messenger and told him that I called. "Oh, you did ? I'm still in bed. ". "I'm checking my phone now and two numbers are popping up on my call history. One is <random male name> and the other ends with <random number>. Which one are you ?" he asked. "I'm the <random number." I said. "Oh, then who's <random male name>. ?" he asked. "Could be the previous owners name." I said. Then he proceeded to ask me if I could do any impressions on the phone later and of course I declined. He pretty much ghosted me after this brief conversation and then I blocked him on messenger. He did the same. Everything was a game to him and everyone was a chess piece for entertainment. I often would observe him either talking about random things online with others that didn't really seem to go anywhere either.

    A few days later I decided to confront him through another social platform. I recall feverishly saying something along the lines of "I want you to delete my number. I've deleted yours. Your actions and words aren't on the same page. You really like screwing around with people, etc. His response "Are we talking about the phone issue ? I thought I said I was joking. I should have been more upfront about my discomfort about talking on the phone. I don't like talking on the phone and my friends can attest to that. I am sorry that you feel hurt. I wish you the best. Honestly. I am sorry if you thought I was playing games with you." What bothered me the most at the time was him saying "I'm sorry if you feel hurt." Instead of saying "I'm sorry if I hurt you." Basically it felt like he was telling me "You're too sensitive and I'm only giving you a half assed apology because I really don't care. " My response to this particular message that ignored. Because of my medical condition (PMDD) like I said before, I became very confused and emotional. I actually believed what he said (even though clearly he was trying to save face and was a crappy actor) I later said some things about myself that I shouldn't have because he never cared at all. I still struggle with the guilt. Later we went our separate ways. By the time my PMDD ended and my period began (normally I go back to my rational minded, guarded, smart, normal self.) I realized what type of person I was dealing was too late. I realized as soon as I returned to normal, I wasted two weeks of my life on someone who had took advantage of me while I was going though PMDD, constantly lied to me, led me on, played me like a video game numerous times, treated as if I wasn't a human being with emotions, thought of as an idiot when really my actions were a reflection of this medical illness that affects me before my menstrual cycle starts and then was discardedbecause he got bored with me I guess.

    It's interesting that I later found him telling others that he was a self proclaimed "nut job", had a "difficult time building relationships with others". and seemed terribly vain by claiming that he "looked 18 though he was 26." I just thought that was interesting. It's certainly an understatement to say that that was one of the worse mid summer that I've had in some time.

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    Old 10-29-2016, 03:41 PM   #2
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    Re: I think I met a Pathological Narcissit over the summer.

    Good thing you deleted him from your life. I think you've spent too much time overthinking about him and you should just close that chapter now that you've been able to vent about it. Don't feel obligated to talk with him again if your paths cross on social media again. Just put him on permanent ignore.

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    NightimeAuras (10-29-2016)
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    crazy, internet, men, mental health

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