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Con95 01-29-2017 04:29 PM

How can we get past this
I'm 22,my boyfriend is 20 we have an 8 month old daughter, we've had problems in our relationship before our daughter was born, mostly communication and he didn't want to do anything that involved money so we got bored quick, different interests was definitely a thing.
At the time he was an apprentice butcher and I was an apprentice chef so our schedules were different I'm not going to lie I wasn't happy in our relationship it felt very one sided everything we did and didn't do was based on him I had said on several occasions I wasn't happy and asked how he felt and he's always said he's happy so I stayed and tried to work things out and then somewhere in there another guy I was friends with started flirting I flirted back but to me it was just abit of fun no feelings in it what so ever doesn't make it right but he found out asked me about it I said we were just friends which was the truth and then that stopped then a little bit later a guy from work was flirting with me, kitchen talk is very inuendo and dirty being a male orientated job anyhow I flirted back and so on it went I gained feelings for him and vice versa he had a girlfriend nothing ever happened between us I left the job and went overseas with my boyfriend only to come home and find out I was pregnant when we got home before I knew I was pregnant I had all intentions to break it off we stayed at his mums for a week and he treated me bad the whole time I would have left but it was three hours away and he drove anyhow for some reason I didn't break up with him then found out I was pregnant a week later and he didn't want her I couldn't bring myself to make an appointment for an abortion just didn't sit right with me so I kept it and fast forward to his New Years and he asked me to go through his phone to reply to his brother I seen a text message from a girl he had previously mentioned that liked him I read it long story short she wished him a happy birthday and he told her she better not forget to invite him to her 18th and that he'd be the first one there and pay for her night if that helps so when this conversation was going on I would have been 6 months pregnant anyhow I questioned him about it he said he was being friendly but previously he wouldn't go clubbing with me on several occasions it wasn't his thing he claimed and he's tight when it comes to his money he's bought me 2 gifts our whole relationship not expensive either anyway fast forward I came clean the other night and said I had cheated I flirted with other people while we were together he cried and we made up and then the next day I casually asked him whether or not he flirted with that other girl he denied to only say she flirted with me I never flirted back I the said someone that flirts with you isn't going to continue to do so if you don't flirt back he then said he might have but it wasn't intended I said he new damn well he did and that I just wished he'd tell me so we can move past it to then reply with I only spoke to her because I knew you were talking to other guys my question is why does he continue to lie to me I've caught him out a couple of times he contradicts what he has said to me previously and that is how I know, how do we get passed this and how do I get him to be honest with me? I'm not trying to seem like he it the only problem I just feel as though he doesn't see a problem with what he's done and isn't showing any effort in changing and I don't want our daughter growing up thinking our relationship is normal

rosequartz 03-13-2017 10:38 AM

Re: Trust communication and solving problems with boyfriend
well he is your daughters father and there is no way out of that.....whether she thinks your relationship is normal or not, it's too late to remove him from your life. Is he contributing to your daughters needs? The fact that he's so cheap makes me wonder.......

Con95 03-21-2017 04:54 PM

Re: Trust communication and solving problems with boyfriend
I understand hes in my life for a very long time I would never stop him from seeing his daughter but I think it's better to have two loving homes than one not so happy home, he does contribute to our daughters basic needs he just seems to prioritise his devices straight after her basic needs, what do you find weird about him being cheap

rosequartz 03-22-2017 08:16 AM

Re: Trust communication and solving problems with boyfriend
just him being cheap made me wonder if he was supporting his daughter

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