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  • Abusive (Ex) Husband with Alzeimers - Please help!

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    Old 03-19-2017, 03:42 PM   #1
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    Abusive (Ex) Husband with Alzeimers - Please help!

    I am quite desperate, and I really hope someone here can help in some way. I live in CA and was about to divorce my husband (together over ten years, only married three years) due to he was emotionally and verbally abusive, cheated, and many other issues. Only a few weeks after I told him we were done, he started coming down with weird neurological symptoms. This has progressed over the last year, and I put the divorce on hold to take care of him and b/c I didn't want him to lose my medical insurance. We are still waiting on an official diagnosis, but he seems to have a form of Alzheimer's or dimension, although he is pretty young to have either.

    I reached out to his family for help, as I have my own serious medical conditions that make it difficult to take care of my two children on my own, let alone him, and they completely refused and turned their back on him and us. Now, it's gotten to the point where I cannot care for him. He is becoming out of control in many ways and acts up. I cannot get him to eat a lot of the time or take his meds, and he has become abusive to me and my kids again. It has become very bad for my children for him to be in the home.

    I am wondering if anyone knows what my rights or options are? Given that we are still legally married (I recently filed the divorce paperwork), do I legally have to keep him in the home if I cannot care for him and he is harmful to my children? What options are out there as far as care facilities, etc? Would I have to pay for one? I reached out to his primary doctor MANY times and he was absolutely NO help! I am putting a call into his Neurologist tomorrow, but I don't know if she will help me. I'm just not sure what to do or who to turn to, I am struggling with my own health and completely on my own trying to take care of two children. I really appreciate any advice or help!

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    Old 03-20-2017, 07:41 AM   #2
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    Re: Abusive (Ex) Husband with Alzeimers - Please help!

    talk to your lawyer, you need legal advice on what is in your best interest right now.....I wish you all the best.

    Old 03-20-2017, 07:55 AM   #3
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    Re: Abusive (Ex) Husband with Alzeimers - Please help!

    I would tell you to speak with whomever you filed the papers with. Someone with more expertise on your situation and your state laws would be better able to help you.

    There is no age for demetia unfortunately, but there are also many MANY diseases which present this way which are neurological in nature. Please remember though, until you are divorced you have the ability to speak with his doctors if he cannot- but until he is deemed unable to make decisions for himself, he may not give permission for the doctors to speak with you. Once you are divorced, you have zero rights, unless he makes you his POA (power of attorney) in writing. This may be something you want to stay FAR AWAY from unless you want all that responsibility.

    If you are feeling that you are endangering yourself or your kids..please also speak to your attorney about moving out and the consequences of such an action. You dont want to endanger yourself or them, but you may also not want the kids to see him progress if in fact this disease is progressive.

    Good luck.
    RRMS- dx 05

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