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  • My girlfriend does give me time to spend with but her sisters and brothers

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    Old 04-18-2017, 11:45 AM   #1
    Rayndou
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    Question My girlfriend does give me time to spend with but her sisters and brothers

    Me and my girlfriend have been together for 4 months she does not have time for us, she goes to her sister or brothers. She priotise them than me. We can spend Friday together then Saturday she will tell me she is going to her family which is her sisters or brothers as her parents are no more. The other thing I send her messages and she will read the message and dont bother to respond or after sometime but she will be online from morning to midnight, she doesn't care, about how i slept, how my day was at work, even a good night. I raised things that m not happy about, she got angry and told me she is done with me. The following day she phoned me for us to meet and to solve the isdues or to have a proper closure. Please help what must I do? To hold on to someone who get angry and decide to end the relationship or say things as it pleases her?

     
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    Old 04-18-2017, 02:45 PM   #2
    MSNik
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    Re: My girlfriend does give me time to spend with but her sisters and brothers

    Hello. It sounds like you two have allot of problems to work out.

    Are you being needy? I think spending Fridays with you and Saturdays with her siblings is reasonable...you dont seem to agree. You said her parents are no more; I assume they are passed away? If so, its probably very important to her that she has a tight relationship with her siblings...you should understand that.

    As far as her getting angry and ending it and then wanting to talk; was she wanting to fix things or get closure? Two totally different things.....

    Its up to you whether or not you can handle a relationship which is one where you dont always come first. Personally, knowing how someone slept is the furthest thing from my mind when I am dealing with more important things and I would never think to ask or care to talk about this...but it appears to be important to you and you are entitled to feel that way. You are only 4 months into this relationship, it is VERY new...if it is not starting off the way you want it to, maybe you need to decide if you want to cut your losses now and find someone who is better able to meet your needs. Either that, or have a heart to heart with her and ask her flat out what she is willing to give and what constitutes crossing the line. If she cant give what you want, you have your answer.

    Good luck!
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    Last edited by MSNik; 04-18-2017 at 02:46 PM.

     
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    Old 04-19-2017, 01:24 AM   #3
    Rayndou
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    Re: My girlfriend does give me time to spend with but her sisters and brothers

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by MSNik View Post
    Hello. It sounds like you two have allot of problems to work out.

    Are you being needy? I think spending Fridays with you and Saturdays with her siblings is reasonable...you dont seem to agree. You said her parents are no more; I assume they are passed away? If so, its probably very important to her that she has a tight relationship with her siblings...you should understand that.

    As far as her getting angry and ending it and then wanting to talk; was she wanting to fix things or get closure? Two totally different things.....

    Its up to you whether or not you can handle a relationship which is one where you dont always come first. Personally, knowing how someone slept is the furthest thing from my mind when I am dealing with more important things and I would never think to ask or care to talk about this...but it appears to be important to you and you are entitled to feel that way. You are only 4 months into this relationship, it is VERY new...if it is not starting off the way you want it to, maybe you need to decide if you want to cut your losses now and find someone who is better able to meet your needs. Either that, or have a heart to heart with her and ask her flat out what she is willing to give and what constitutes crossing the line. If she cant give what you want, you have your answer.

    Good luck!
    THANK YOU SO MUCH.
    she is the youngest in the family and her sisters and brothers are married. Every time that when we are together she always come up with going to visit them, i have never spend the whole weekend with her, several occasions i visit with intention to spend the weekend there and i will communicate that i would go on a Friday then the following day from the blue she tells me her sisters are coming i must go, i have never visited her place and this doesn't happen, it hurt me that i come last and for the fact that i communicated that i will spend the weekend and still this happens, i will carry my work staff so that i will go to work from her place but i will always go back home disappointed to a point my brother will ask me that when you left you said you will be back Monday after work and he will ask me why is it that i dont spend 2 days at her place as if we are fighting or something.

     
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    Old 04-19-2017, 02:23 AM   #4
    MSNik
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    Re: My girlfriend does give me time to spend with but her sisters and brothers

    You really need to sit down and talk to her about this. It looks like you both want different things.
    Maybe she has a reason for how she feels about this. Maybe she isnt ready for you to meet her whole family, or maybe she thinks they wont like her havng a boyfriend? Whatever it is, you need to sit down and talk with HER about this.

    Be gentle. You dont know the whole story. Ask for her side of it.

    Good luck!
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    Old 04-19-2017, 07:39 AM   #5
    rosequartz
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    Re: My girlfriend does give me time to spend with but her sisters and brothers

    well part of the problem could be that you are assuming that you are going to spend the weekend with her, coming over Friday and leaving Sunday when you say you have never been to her place and she hasn't invited you to spend the whole weekend......maybe you need to dial back your expectations......

     
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    Old 04-19-2017, 11:28 AM   #6
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    Re: My girlfriend does give me time to spend with but her sisters and brothers

    Hello Rayndou,

    Have you the chance to sit and talk with your girlfriend about how you are feeling? It is still very early on in your relationship and she may not be ready for all the time and full commitment you are expecting from her. The only way for you to remedy this is to speak with her heart to heart and set out what both of you are wanting from the relationship and what kind of boundaries you both would like to set for now. Which may mean only one night a week together for now until the relationship progresses a little?

    I wish you all the best!
    DW.

     
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    Old 04-19-2017, 11:33 PM   #7
    Rayndou
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    Re: My girlfriend does give me time to spend with but her sisters and brothers

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by rosequartz View Post
    well part of the problem could be that you are assuming that you are going to spend the weekend with her, coming over Friday and leaving Sunday when you say you have never been to her place and she hasn't invited you to spend the whole weekend......maybe you need to dial back your expectations......
    i dont go at her place without being invited. she invite me and if any of her sisters, brothers or cousin call that they want to visit or they are going out she prefer to tell me to go and let her family in .......i would expect her at some point to tell them she is away may be they can come the following day but rather she push me away, i will leave the house in a hurry as if we are not organised people.i feel i come last and this happens every time when i,m at her place not even a single day i will go and come back in a normal way it will always be that something disturbs us.

     
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