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  • My girlfriend has a friend that bothers me

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    Old 08-10-2017, 09:17 PM   #1
    kanamecerula
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    Unhappy My girlfriend has a friend that bothers me

    My gf has a long term friend that Moved away 1 year ago, (Oregon to Texas distance) and they saw each other for a week. They have been best friends since they were little and we've been dating for 7 months. She tells me how they cuddle and how they both give each other sweaters so that they can smell each other. She cried when he went back to Oregon and they text constantly and now she's been ignoring me (not calling, not texting as much, talking to him much more then me.) Should I be worried? theyre extremely close and she says that it'd be gross if they did anything and that he's like a brother.

     
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    Old 08-10-2017, 10:18 PM   #2
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    Re: My girlfriend has a friend that bothers me

    Be very careful here...if you put her in a "him or me" position, you will lose her. She is not deceiving you and they have a lifetime of history, just as a brother and sister would. She misses him obviously, but hopefully some of that will pass and she will return to you. Be patient and don't be resentful - she will appreciate the support in the long term. Sera

     
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    Old 08-10-2017, 10:42 PM   #3
    kanamecerula
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    Re: My girlfriend has a friend that bothers me

    She compares me so often to him and I feel like I'm competing with him. I haven't ever really brought it up until now because now he seems to be more important. I don't mean to be selfish but I don't behave that way unless it's with her. I fear she loves him more then me. They call each other sweet names, they text until they go to sleep, they cuddle when they're ever together. Apart from sexual things him and I could be interchangeable. Even little things like the photograph on her computer has been changed from her and I to him and her. I will definitely follow your advice and be patient. I'm most likely being paranoid. I hope.

     
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    Old 08-11-2017, 01:13 PM   #4
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    Re: My girlfriend has a friend that bothers me

    Hello

    I can understand your insecurities here, but you should be very thankful that she is so openly honest about her friendship. They are best friends, best friends can and do become a part of our souls and to have that other half ripped away where you can't just meet up would be devastating to her. She sounds to be going through that "grieving" period of her friend moving away which would explain her behaviour.

    I don't think you have anything to worry about, just be there for her, be supportive. The phase of him leaving will not last too long and hopefully things will then return to normal for you.

    All the best!
    DW.

     
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    Old 08-11-2017, 05:07 PM   #5
    kanamecerula
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    Re: My girlfriend has a friend that bothers me

    she cheated on me

     
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    Old 08-11-2017, 05:53 PM   #6
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    Re: My girlfriend has a friend that bothers me

    It may be me but I see all kinds of red flags!!! It sounds like they are much more than friends. When you are involved in a romantic relationship your friends tend to take a back seat. Comparing you to a friend, another red flag and the cuddling and the exchanging sweaters so they can smell each other. Oh, come on!!! Good luck, I think you are going to need it.

     
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    Old 08-11-2017, 06:14 PM   #7
    Seraph
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    Re: My girlfriend has a friend that bothers me

    Did she cheat with this man? That opens a whole new picture. What happened?

     
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    Old 08-12-2017, 10:50 AM   #8
    kanamecerula
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    Re: My girlfriend has a friend that bothers me

    She came to me and told me she made out a bunch when she was there. In feel betrayed but I can get passed this. What I can't get past is that I still feel like I'm competing with him.

     
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    Old 08-12-2017, 01:19 PM   #9
    JohnR41
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    Re: My girlfriend has a friend that bothers me

    What kind of future can there be with a person who behaves this way? This is not good, and it's doubtful that her behavior will ever change. Perhaps the best thing will be for you to try to put her out of your mind and look for a relationship with someone else.

     
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