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Fiance Needs a lot of Physical Contact/Closeness


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Old 03-01-2018, 02:36 PM   #1
ItsMyLife486
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Fiance Needs a lot of Physical Contact/Closeness

I love the man, but sometimes I just need some physical space.

Every night he is sitting right there, hip to hip, with me on the couch. Its not that I don't want to sit together on the couch; I just don't want him on top of me. I have no space because he has me squished against the arm.

Every night he wants to hold hands. Even when I don't want to hold hands he will just take it from where ever I have it.

When we are sitting on the couch and he has some little thing to say he gets right in my face to say it.

There are some weekend mornings that I just want to lay in our very comfortable bed. If he knows I'm awake he will come to my side and cuddle. I have faked being asleep just so I can lay there without him on top of me.

We have talked about how I'm not the biggest physical person. To much makes me feel suffocated and claustrophobic. I know it is important to him so I make the effort, but I can't keep doing this every night.

 
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Old 03-02-2018, 05:00 AM   #2
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Re: Fiance Needs a lot of Physical Contact/Closeness

Wow. That sounds very uncomfortable. Have you guys been together a long time? How old is he if you dont mind me asking?

If talking to him isnt doing it, you may need some counseling together...this might stem from something you know nothing about and I am sure there are exercises or something that you can be doing together to help him not feel like he has to be attached at the hip. It sounds like otherwise you are happy in the relationship.

Most people who are like this have no concept of personal space and often get offended when asked to "give some room'...if this stems from something important it might be helpful to get to the root of it and the only way to really do that is with professional help. If this is really bothering you, please do not get married until you have sorted this out; otherwise you are going to be really unhappy.

Its fixable, but you might need help fixing it...think about it. And, good luck!
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Old 03-02-2018, 01:07 PM   #3
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Re: Fiance Needs a lot of Physical Contact/Closeness

I know what that's like and it's not good. You should buy some fresh garlic cloves and just eat one (cooked but not overcooked) when you feel you want some physical space. And garlic is a super-food - very good for your health.

Last edited by JohnR41; 03-02-2018 at 01:30 PM.

 
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Old 03-04-2018, 02:16 PM   #4
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Re: Fiance Needs a lot of Physical Contact/Closeness

Quote:
Originally Posted by MSNik View Post
Wow. That sounds very uncomfortable. Have you guys been together a long time? How old is he if you dont mind me asking?

If talking to him isnt doing it, you may need some counseling together...this might stem from something you know nothing about and I am sure there are exercises or something that you can be doing together to help him not feel like he has to be attached at the hip. It sounds like otherwise you are happy in the relationship.

Most people who are like this have no concept of personal space and often get offended when asked to "give some room'...if this stems from something important it might be helpful to get to the root of it and the only way to really do that is with professional help. If this is really bothering you, please do not get married until you have sorted this out; otherwise you are going to be really unhappy.

Its fixable, but you might need help fixing it...think about it. And, good luck!
We have been together over a year and a half. He is 31. He tells me he likes to be close and this is how he feels close.

Last edited by Administrator; 03-04-2018 at 02:47 PM.

 
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Old 03-04-2018, 04:27 PM   #5
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Re: Fiance Needs a lot of Physical Contact/Closeness

Well, you cant blame someone for how they feel...but in my opinion, he is overdoing it and since it bothers you it is going to be up to you to let him know over and over again....bottom line is if he wont listen, you either have to suggest couple counseling or make up your mind to either live this way or end it.

Its unfortunate, there are so many worse things he could be doing- but I agree with you, personal space is one of my pet peeves too....Ill sit all night next to my husband on the couch, but there is usually a foot between us!

Good luck....keep talking to him!
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Old 03-04-2018, 10:39 PM   #6
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Re: Fiance Needs a lot of Physical Contact/Closeness

Feeling is one thing....behaviour that causes discomfort after it's been discussed is another.

Is he a jealous person?
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Old 03-05-2018, 03:52 AM   #7
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Re: Fiance Needs a lot of Physical Contact/Closeness

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Feeling is one thing....behaviour that causes discomfort after it's been discussed is another.

Is he a jealous person?
q

Hes not a jealous person He just likes to be close.

 
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Old 03-05-2018, 10:42 AM   #8
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Re: Fiance Needs a lot of Physical Contact/Closeness

That's a good thing.
Have you mentioned the feeling of being suffocated, claustrophobic......? Maybe suggest it's an invasion of your space and disrespect after you say no but give a more comfortable option...Ask him if he can be less invasive.

I would see it as more control and possiveness... ...honest discussion would probably be a good start if it's an issue for you. As well, give other options that would be comfortable for you....seems possible to find a perfect happy medium.

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Last edited by quincy; 03-05-2018 at 10:45 AM.

 
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