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Xevious 05-19-2020 10:24 AM

cannot vent or anything else
 
Been married for 8 years. Was happy for most of it. When things get to me if I try to vent to the wife it's always a huge argument. If I feel bad it's never as bad as she feels. Same goes for anything else. Lately she blows up over nothing. She blew up this morning because she misunderstood something I said. I got 15 minutesof how I'm no help and she has it all on her. I never do anything right for her. She says she wants me to help with the housework but everything I do is always wrong. If I try to say how i feel I get threatened with divorce.

In 2015 I had 5 strokes. One before then and one after. I've lost much of my eyesight and my memory is useless. The dr said I should never drive due to my deficits. So she keeps sending me on errands until I finally hit a car I didn't see. Then I'm horrible that I ruined her car.

I could go on and on. She hasn't acted like she is attracted to me in almost 2 years. I've been told I'm an annoying burden. Then she blames me for everything. When she gets mad she says some horribly mean things that if i had said it she wouldn't let me back in the house.

We are both disabled and in our early 50's.

Xevious 06-18-2020 12:12 PM

Re: cannot vent or anything else
 
Since I posted that she has went back onto Zoloft and is acting like herself again. Was rough there for a while.

quincy 06-19-2020 11:21 AM

Re: cannot vent or anything else
 
Good to hear....i hope you both are able to discuss issues.

Do you have someone to help you with errands?

q

Xevious 12-30-2020 12:29 PM

Re: cannot vent or anything else
 
Not really. I have errands I've needed ran for about 8 years now. Not going to happen.

She was mostly better for a while, but now the main problem is intimacy. I've been a good boy for the last 2 years and three months. It's really getting difficult. If I once again tell her I need her affections it will just **** her off. And even if I could somehow beg her into doing anything it would not help. It would be because I nagged her into it. Not because she wanted me. It's almost enough to force me to find a side chick. It's not something I want to do.

For the last 3 years or so I've busied myself with making bowls on a lathe and forging knives from scrap steel. It's all I got to keep me from thinking about it. But now she fusses because I'm trying to keep busy. She even fusses about the sawdust in my shop. Despite her absolute refusal to go up there and see what I am doing or to just hang out.

And so it's messing with me again. The hobbies aren't really helping anymore. She keeps fussing at me for being on edge or "biting her head off" whatever that means. And if I tell her why she will act like I am a selfish baby for wanting to have sex with my wife. It makes me feel like a creep. Especially when I try to show affection and she nips that in the bud right quick. Makes me feel like a bigger creep.

I don't know what to do. I love her and don't want to disrespect her like that. But it seems like if I don't have much choice.
Thanks for letting me vent. I have zero people to discuss this with. It is my private shame I guess. Sure would be nice to be wanted again.


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