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Need Opion from both male and female

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Old 07-29-2002, 03:01 PM   #1
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Everett, Wa.,USA
Posts: 2
kaklatt HB User
Angry Need Opion from both male and female

I did something I have never done in my life before. "I went through my husbands wallet"
Still don't know what prompt me into doing such a thing, cause I beleive that is personal properity.
To my amazement I found a gal's phone # and Yes I called it.
Phone rings ... she picks up
I ask ... is this so and so.
Yes it is.
Do your know whats his name.
Yes I do
I say I found her # in his wallet and asked if she worked with him.
She responds ....why do want to know?
I say that I need to know.
Again she ask ...why?
I say ...I am his Wife!!
She hangs up so fast that I was shocked.

If Husband say that he only has her # for work reasons, would you beleave him, or think the worst that he was screwing around????
1. No he is not a MGR or need her home #, he's a purchaser/operator front desk.
2. He acts tired all the time, stressed out, no sexual drive. if and when he does it's about every 3 to 4 months.
3. No ...No medical problems....
4. He's only 45 yrs old...
5. Only been married 14 months.
6. We make damn good money between us, so money problems, other than my salary might be better.

I want honest opions....what you think. please state age and whether you are male / Female.

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Old 07-29-2002, 05:09 PM   #2
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Everett, Wa.,USA
Posts: 2
kaklatt HB User

Sorry I didn't make the one statement that is most important.
His reaction was he needed her home # just in case he need to get a hold of her.

Now ... Let me say first off hand... that I am an Office/Production Mgr. of a printing company, and have held such position for quite some time. I do not carry the guys home # that have or do work for me. His position does not require him to contact field techs for any reason.
His response to confortation was that he needed it to get a hold of her in case anything did come up at work.
Strange ...he works with 18 other people yet he doesn't carry their #'s in his wallet.
So...Hope this clears things a little more.

Old 07-29-2002, 05:22 PM   #3
Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 14
coco08 HB User

Hi there,

I am 36 and legally separated for the past 6 year, but in process of divorcing. My x cheated on me and so I left with my 2 kids in tow.

One day I was driving his car and got pulled over and when the police officer asked me for ownership. I went into the glove compartment which was locked and low and behold there were oodles of women numbers. I asked him about them and said that they were just friends....ya o.k.

Anyways, it just got progressively worse. I did eventually catch him and left. It was the same thing when I found that number in his pocket while doing laundry, and yes I did go to the wallet and there was more.

Your conversation with this woman is not good news. Think about it. If in fact it was just a friend why did she hang up on you. Would she not have more repect for her friends wife and would she not know your name or that he has a wife.

The only thing is that you will have to own up to going into the wallet. Obviously, you did that because somewhere, somehow in your heart you knew something may be going on.

I hope that you find the strength to get through this.

God Bless.

Old 07-29-2002, 05:34 PM   #4
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Iowa Park,Texas
Posts: 197
SnowyLynne HB User
Thumbs down

I think you are being conned.It's time to let them go thier ways.I was in similar marriages,only they liked to be head hauncho's.I didn't agree so out the doors they went.I have a great husband now,treats me like a queen......


Old 07-29-2002, 07:44 PM   #5
Join Date: May 2002
Location: tennessee/usa
Posts: 339
wattagirl HB User

i think you know there is something not right about this-if there wasn't anything going on why did she hang up on you-follow your instincts on this one-p.s-i'm a 31yr old female-married 9yrs

Old 07-30-2002, 05:06 AM   #6
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Britain
Posts: 449
nicola76 HB User

I think deep down inside you knew something was going on otherwise you wouldn't have gone through his wallet. Like you said, you don't normally do things like that...something just compelled you.

In my own personal opinion I think your husband is probably having an affair. If everything was on the up & up with this woman, why did she act so shifty when you called and then hang up on you? Why did she not know you by name if she's only just a friend of your hubby's?

Another thing, if you and your husband have only been married 14 months, why are you only having sex every 3-4 months. In all respects this is still sort of your honeymoon period.

To me all of these events point to something bad. Do some more searching/spying if you have to. You have the right now.

Take care and the best of luck to you. Nic

Old 07-30-2002, 07:59 AM   #7
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 324
4given1 HB User

Please don't be naive. A completely innocent party would not have hung up on you when you revealed your identity. HUGE red flag here!
Don't worry!
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Old 07-30-2002, 09:12 AM   #8
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: reading, pa USA
Posts: 291
livenlearn HB User

the # isn't for work... i think you know that already..... a woman's intuition is an amazing thing... don't ignore yours!!!! my ex husband had been cheating on me since i was pregnant with my second child..... with that very first indiscretion i knew... i caught him on the phone at my place of business... a pay phone!!!! when confronted he said it was his father on the phone..... i didn't believe him... yet, i stayed with him thru other affairs... ones that i could NEVER truly find out..... but, i knew!!! deep down i knew.... and i wasted alot of time staying with this loser because i didn't trust myself ........ he .. years later... did admit to me EVERYTHING....... so, trust yourself girl!

Old 07-30-2002, 01:19 PM   #9
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: USA
Posts: 315
buck58 HB User

I'm male, 44 yrs. old. And it sure sounds to me like you've got a problem! If he doesn't care anymore for you than that, then you're not losing much if you get rid of him. Life's too short to waste it.
buck. Good luck to you!

Old 07-30-2002, 10:47 PM   #10
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Canada
Posts: 235
Theresa15 HB User

OK, deffinitly sounds like he's cheatin' on you, but there is a good way to find out. Call that # again and ask HER. She will most likely be honest since she isn't going to lose anything if she does tell you the truth. However, there is a chance she may lie about it.

I full heartedly send my sympathies, because I realize how difficult it must be for you to be married for such a small time, and already have a fear of him cheating on you.

I hope for your sake that things turn out for the best and that you aren't dragged through painful sh*t cause of some creep. I send my best wishes and prayers. Stay strong and good luck!

Old 07-31-2002, 10:12 AM   #11
Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: USA
Posts: 13

I'm a 24 yr. old newly married female and I agree with everything Nicola 76 says!

Old 07-31-2002, 10:29 AM   #12
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Britain
Posts: 449
nicola76 HB User

I forgot to add...I turn 26 in August and am engaged to be married this coming September.

Old 07-31-2002, 06:20 PM   #13
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Guam
Posts: 3
truefull HB User

A number for a girl in his wallet. She hangs up on you when you tell her your his wife. Sex only every three or four months? hmmmm. You say you make good money, why not hire a PI so you know for sure? You can even do a little snooping yourself. Do a reverse phone look-up on the internet to find her full name and address (The Ultimate White Pages). Hope it turns out to be nothing but if something is going on you have the right to know. Male, 45, married and would never consider cheating on my wife. I don't understand why some people risk all they have for a fling. Hang in there!

Old 07-31-2002, 11:57 PM   #14
Posts: n/a

yeah i agree with nicola76.. i would say the same thing.

im 21, used to be in a serious, long term committed relationship.
You know ur man very well, use ur common sense!

Old 08-02-2002, 11:09 AM   #15
Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: ca,usa
Posts: 29
C-blue HB User

I had a similar experience about two years ago, and I learn a few things about men that I don't understand.
For the record I just want to clear up not all men are the same(I hope).
Ok when a men is cheating or suspected of doing it, the first sign always seems to be a phone number in his wallet or his car, which by the way is another place to look if you are suspicious!

Now, why would anyone who is cheating leave the evidence in their wallet, car, or pants, I mean don't they use their heads, do they want to get caught?

I had talk with several friends and they also had found the evidence on their guys personal belongings.

When comfronted they will deny it, and probably they will not admited until they get caught, and after they put you through hell. ( is this cowardness?)

Ok and if your intuition tells u something is wrong, just learn his schedule, when and what time, find out casually don't accuse. Go to the places he told u he was going to be at, or call at the house of the friend he is supposs to be.

Finally I really hope u learn the truth fast, and that maybe he is telling the truth, I wisht u the best and please keep us posted.

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