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Sorry, I have ALOT going on so I have another question

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Old 11-12-2003, 01:38 PM   #1
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nelzun HB User
Sorry, I have ALOT going on so I have another question

I already posted about my obsessed ex and the quick fling. You all are going to think I go through guys like shoes, but the last post about the fling was a guy from my past and this post is about someone else from my past as well. It always seems like they know just when you're single and they come popping back into your life.

Anyhow, I went out with my roomate and her boyfriend last night and saw the one man that I've never gotten over. I was in love with him over 2 years ago, we had a relationship but he was inattentive, too busy, and just showed little emotion. I tried to stay strong and not express how I felt, but I finally told him that I felt neglected, like he didn't care and insecure about our relationship. I told him that I loved him and he knows how I feel about him. He says that he loves me, but nothing improved and we just gradually drifted away and we sent emails here and there where I would talk about how I still love him and he would say he felt the same but condense his feelings into literally one sentence.

So I moved on. I feel I have every right to. I had to, he was ripping my heart out. He would always keep me hanging there by a thread but never DO anything about it. So after he and I being together off and on, we weren't talking and I met Jon, the obessed ex that I broke up with about a month ago.

When I saw this guy at the bar all the feelings came back, anger, confusion, and the love I still feel for him. We talked and he actually drove me home from the bar. We were talking and kissing and it came out that I had a boyfriend since we've been apart but that it was brief and had been over for a few months.

He jumped up and got all freaked out. He said if he would have known that he wouldn't have drove me home. He was ****** that I moved on. I told him I couldn't wait forever when he offered me NOTHING. He says he knows it's his fault and he's mad at himself and not me. But he's really mad!! It changed his feelings for me and he can't imagine me with another man. He said that he's stupid and if he would have been there I wouldn't have had another boyfriend, but I still get the feeling he won't call.

I don't understand. If he's that upset (which he never shows that much emotion) than why wouldn't he have just been there for me. I'm not obsessive and won't chase anyone that doesn't want me and the last emails that I sent him he ignored. If he cares so much about me being with someone else, why did he let me walk away?

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Old 11-12-2003, 02:41 PM   #2
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sunflwrst HB User
Hey Jen,

Sounds like a fit of jealousy.....I doubt he had an epiphany and will be a caring boyfriend ....he's still the same guy.
You're very vulnerable right now. You've got a lot on your plate...I might stay away from ANY emotional entanglements, right now.
Take some time for yourself. What strikes me is why you keep not only choosing these guys, but allowing yourself to get hurt ...and are afraid to show them your feelings, so you keep a stiff upper lip, til you can't take it anymore.
Hmmm, something to think about.

Old 11-13-2003, 07:27 AM   #3
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nelzun HB User
Thanks again sunflwrst

"Sounds like a fit of jealousy.....I doubt he had an epiphany and will be a caring boyfriend ....he's still the same guy."

Exactly as I was thinking.

To tell you the truth I am quite expressive. This guy knows how I feel and I express too much if you ask me. I always say how I feel to all involved. I just don't wait around for a reaction. I let people know what I'm feeling, lay all the cards on the table, but don't chase them around for their rebutal. But I generally tell it like it is and have no problem doing so. I just get frustrated that this guy has nothing to say in return and tend to walk away. It's pointless to keep saying the same things over and over to the same person with no argument.

But today I feel much better. I know that I need this alone time and it was just momentary confusion at my ex's reaction. Thanks for being here to talk. This board lets me listen to myself as well as others and realize how ridiculous I sound sometimes. It's a good sounding board to help, before I make even more uninformed decisions.

Thanks Again,


Old 11-13-2003, 08:14 AM   #4
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,589
daylight568 HB User
I learned from my latest failed relationship which left me devestated that its better to open up your heart right from the start as you could really mess up a potentially great relationship.So I'm not holding anything back anymore..,nothing. I don't want any regrets later on down the road wondering what could have been if I had only done this or said that.

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