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Advice Needed (PLEASE HELP)

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Old 11-14-2003, 08:24 AM   #1
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Advice Needed (PLEASE HELP)

Would you consider any of these behaviors from a MARRIED professor sexual harassment? The following examples are what I endured over a year-long period in two of his classes.

1. When I went to turn in a test, I looked at him while he was standing in front of his desk and he was staring at me. I locked eyes with him the whole time while proceeding to stand up and he made NO effort whatsoever to look away but I did. When I handed him my test, he said "Thank you (my name)" in a heavily flirtacious tone (he also used that tone with me when he saw me walking around campus once while no one else was in the immediate area).

2. He would always look/leer directly at me during class whenever he could.

3. With every group activity that was conducted in his class, he would make an effort to get physically close to me. Also, he would stare at me during this time when everyone else was too busy to pay attention to him.

4. One time I was out in a study area, right outside the area where his office was. At one point, instinct told me to look over at the doors that separated the area, and he was hanging outside the office area doorway staring at me. It was like he was on the lookout for me.

At the time, I LOVED the attention. It seemed like he knew it too. But now, as frequently as I play everything back in my head (once every 5 seconds it seems, headaches are almost a daily occurance for me), what he was doing was WRONG.

The person I confided this in told me to talk to the college counselor. Trust me, I want to badly, but it's been 6 months since the last time I was in class with him (Is it too late?) and I'm afraid to even tell her his name fearing that he'll figure/find out who exposed him and that I'll face repercussions as a result.

I have no where else to turn. Any replies would be GREATLY appreciated.

Last edited by hp82; 11-14-2003 at 08:41 AM.

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Old 11-14-2003, 08:35 AM   #2
Join Date: Oct 2003
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swingline HB User
it seems like every example you gave....he was just staring. I don't consider that harrasment at all. It's harmless. If he starts touching you then that's a different story, I mean, unless people like it. So overall, I don't think you have a problem at all. Everybody looks. If I see a cute girl, or I have a class with a cute girl, I always find myself looking in her direction. Who knows, maybe he just likes your clothes!!

Old 11-14-2003, 10:08 AM   #3
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atlantalady HB User
I don't think he did anything wrong if it involves only staring at this point. If you liked the attention at the time, you were probably looking at him in a different way as well. Now when you look back on the whole thing you think differently. Make sure you think carefully about how things were at the time. I agree w/the other post, had he asked you out, touched you, etc. that would be totally different, but he didn't stalk you or do anything that overstepped any boundaries....if he isn't your teacher any longer try staying away at this point if it makes you uncomfortable. Otherwise, I'd drop the entire matter at this point...Best of luck!

Old 11-14-2003, 10:17 AM   #4
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No I do not consider that harassment. Maybe rude behavior, but harassment, no.
Harassment is he makes demands for sexual favors or grabs your private areas otherwise he will give you bad grades or something like that.
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Old 11-14-2003, 11:28 AM   #5
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MJK98 HB User
i Agree with the other posters and furthermore you said you enjoyed it so you could have been giving him the look back, situations like you have just explained can really ruins someones life so don't go doing that, if he hasnt bothered you leave it alone and move on

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