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what is there to fight about?

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Old 11-16-2003, 11:28 PM   #1
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 186
burtonbabe HB User
just checkin

okey doke..wasnt sure if this was workin
Look at me
you may think you see who I really am
but youll never know me
now I see if I wear a mask I can fool the world
but I cannot fool my heart
who is that girl I see,starting straight back at me?
When will my reflection show who Iam inside..

Last edited by burtonbabe; 11-17-2003 at 03:43 PM.

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Old 11-17-2003, 11:50 AM   #2
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Location: MI
Posts: 159
nelzun HB User
I don't know about anyone else but I know when the fighting is too much, when I stop trying to resolve issues and I don't care about the other person's feelings anymore. For example, I won't cry or get mad or have that natural reaction. I don't try to explain myself because I know that person and I will never see eye to eye and it's pointless.

They say that everyone has relationship patterns and I agree. So I usually fight about the same things with men in my life, The relationships I've lost over control issues (they were trying to control me) I fought for the need for personal space and thier insecurity. The relatinships where I liked the man more than he was into me, we've not really fought, just questioned intentions when they were leading me on. I don't know what other people fight about, but I'm pretty laid back and don't like to argue. Don't get me wrong I love to express myself and don't mind when other's do in the right manner (without put downs, yelling and criticism) but I tend to get out when someone fails to hear me because I'm not shouting or when someone shouts at me too often.

Old 11-18-2003, 02:45 PM   #3
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: muleshoe
Posts: 177
cowgal HB User
What's to fight about? Only 3 things. Sex, money, and family. The sex issue is pretty straight forward, you want it more, he wants it more, or one of you is doing it elsewhere. The money thing. One earns more than the other but who's responsible for what. Do you use percentages to put money into the community kitty? Is his money your money? Is your money his money? Can get pretty cloudy. Talk rules about money right up front. Last but not least is family. This includes parents, siblings, exes, children, in-law's and out-laws but it's all still family and fair game. Relationships aren't simple but the arguments generally ALL can be traced back to these 3 things. This wisdom was passed on to me during my 1st year of marriage from a wonderful older woman who was in her 2nd marriage. Her first lasted 10 years and her 2nd was in it's 33rd year when she shared this with me. She said that in every fight, one of you was always going to feel like you gave more than the other whether it concerned money, family or sex and that somebody had to do the giving in, compromising, or you couldn't stay together. Didn't always have to be the same one but she said to learn to pick your battles. Decide what you could live with/without and don't sweat the big stuff. Pretty heavy stuff from an almost 60-year-old to a just barely 23 year old but I've never forgotten what she told me. Been married almost 25 years now and it still gets rocky but it's always a fight one of the big 3. Just have to learn to pick your battles.

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