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Falling for your best guy friend PART TWO


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Old 11-20-2003, 10:37 PM   #1
trinitysnow8
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Falling for your best guy friend PART TWO

Hey guys,

I didn't know if this post would be seen if I added it with my old post so here it is again.

Thanks for all of our advice so far. Here is an update on the situation.

A few days after the initial email, things kinda just went back to normal for me and him being friends except somehow now we seem closer than before. He has called me every day since then and we have done something every single day. Then last night, I went up to his room to help him with a paper that was due and he suggested having some drinks together later that night but then made the comment that "it could be dangerous for us to get drunk together." Well we ended up having a couple of drinks and I found myself pulling away from him as the night progressed because I didnt want him to think I was hitting on him. At one point he called me out on that and said that he knew what I was thinking, that I thought he would think I was hitting on him if I got too friendly. Every time I would leave the room to go to the restroom he would ask my friends if I was doing ok with the entire situation and then told them that I was his best friend in the entire world and he didn't know what he would do without me. This was all just normal, friend, stuff and I didnt really think anything about it. Then as we got a few more drinks in us, he started talking about how unattractive he is (which he totally is not!!!) and pulled out pictures of his two brothers and said how attractive they were and all the girls went after them but he was the unattractive one and how he would be so lucky to have a girl like me and how he doesn't deserve me. And how he cant be in a relationship right now because he is broke trying to put himself through school and doesnt have the money to treat a girl properly. (Like money matters!!!) And I had some pictures sitting out of some friends from the past (old flames) and he was like "you turned them down, and I dont even begin to compare to them." and then before he got ready to leave my friends were like give her a hug, she needs a hug. So he came over to me and leaned in to hug me and as he did he mumbled something about falling for me or falling in love with me. (Sorry we were a little too intoxicated to remember the exact words which is driving me and my friends crazy) and then we just stayed in this really tight hug for like 5 minutes. And he kept mumbling and I was like what what did you say but he never would repeat it. And he said at one point, I need to get up, and I was like do you want to get up but then he just pulled in closer. Today when he mentioned the entire thing he never talked about the things he said throughout the night but just mentioned the fact that now all my friends could see how insecure he is. I am so glad that we were able to remain best friends after the situation but I thought that was all it was, and then he says comments like that. I know he was drunk when he said them but he has never lied to me before when he was drunk and has a habit of telling the cold hard truth whenever he drinks. I don't know what to think. I don't want to let my self believe that there is still a chance for us to be more only to have my heart broken again. Is this guy just really insecure?? Please, help.

 
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Old 11-21-2003, 08:03 AM   #2
Want 2 B Well
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Re: Falling for your best guy friend PART TWO

He probably is insecure. Why should that matter? He keeps making it clear to you he does not want a relationship right now & not because of you but he is trying to get himself together. I say ignore the "drink" and respect his wishes.
My heart just breaks for you as it seems you really want to be with him. That is such a tough spot. I couldn't do it.
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Old 11-24-2003, 11:32 AM   #3
trinitysnow8
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Re: Falling for your best guy friend PART TWO

Ok, here is another update on the situation.

Last night we ran into one of my friends and his girlfriend. I told my guy that I thought they would end up married and he asked why I thought that. I told him that they had been dating for a while and just seemed to be headed in that direction, everyone thought so. Plus, he had taken her home to meet his parents. Well, my guy made the comment "Does taking someone home to meet your parents mean that you want to marry them?" Then he made the comment that " I should take you home with me for Christmas!!!" He started talking about how his brothers always bring their girlfriends to Christmas and he never has a girl there and he would like to bring me as his girl. I just kinda sat there for a second because I wasnt sure what to say and then replied "But wouldn't that be lying to your family" He sat there for a second and thought about what he had just said and then "Oh well ummmm I would introduce you as my bestest bestest friend in the entire world." Then, then he starts going on about how he never has a girlfriend to bring home for Thanksgiving or Christmas and he feels so left out and I am thinking how can you be so insensitive knowing how I feel about you and sitting here talking about this in front of me when you just recently told me that you didnt want a relationship right now. I mean is that insensitive or is it just me? And why would he even suggest taking me home with him for Christmas? I am so confused!!!! Dont know if I am looking for any answers from you guys or just wanted to rant about the situation but thanks for reading.

 
Old 11-24-2003, 11:38 AM   #4
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Re: Falling for your best guy friend PART TWO

Are you sure he is not gay? Not that there is anything wrong with that but it sounds like he is gay.
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Old 11-24-2003, 08:44 PM   #5
CeeJay1
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Cool Re: Falling for your best guy friend PART TWO

Trinity,

There is obviously very real feelings in this situation for you - and Im sorry that they are not being reciprocated as you would like.

However - you cant make someone like you or love you or want to be with you in a more than friends way - remember that!!!!!

He either does want to be more than friends - or he doesnt

Right now it sounds like he doesnt have a clue as to what he wants - he sounds very confused.

As for talking to you about not having a girlfriend to take home at Christmas time - it could well be that he is an insensitive clod

The more likely scenario is that he just doesnt think there is a possiblity to be more than friends with you for some reason - while that is very hard to accept that is something you have to face the possiblity of coming to terms with

So I would suggest to you that you are best to do your best to forget about him being more than your friend.

Go and enjoy yourself - meet new people, do fun stuff - still stay friends with him if you want - but forget about any romantic stuff - and you never know he might finally make up his mind.

In the mean time though you can at least stop being all confused about things

I wish you all the best

CeeJay

 
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